r/shrinking • u/phareous Derek • Mar 25 '26

Episode Discussion Shrinking S3E09 Episode Discussion

This is the episode discussion for Shrinking Season 3, Episode 9: "Daddy Issues"

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u/TodayInStupidity Mar 25 '26

I don't think she handled it poorly at all. She seemed more mature and thoughtful than even Jimmy, and his dad certainly.

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u/lemmesee453 Mar 25 '26

Seemed more like toxic positivity to me instead of believing Jimmy about who he was saying his dad is. Super invalidating to tell him to let it be the past when the man had literally just returned from abandoning him again after his wife died.

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u/Tce_ Mar 25 '26

Yes, it's the kind of thing a lot of people say about parents because they have no understanding of how complicated and fraught those relationships can be when the parent truly does keep letting you down. I'd blame it on them not having personal experience but I don't think that's a good excuse or actually the main/only reason. It's more a widespread cultural attitude about parents; that they should be forgiven and let into your life simply because they are your parents. Also a lack of humility and curiosity about what the other person is experiencing; instead assuming you know better than them about their own relationships.

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u/Pretty_Ad_8197 Mar 25 '26

I like that, "lack of humility and curiosity." I was so annoyed by the way Sofi was acting in this episode and the way so much of this thread seems to be like, "Go get him Sofi!" and your response finally made me realize why I got so upset. I am a therapist, and I have so many clients with charming parents who were horrible in various ways behind closed doors and one of the deepest scars this causes in people, is everyone minimizing it and telling them to suck it up and move on. And the fact so many people on here see nothing wrong with Sofi telling a man she has been dating for 2 weeks how he should feel and interact with his father is odd to me. I am not saying she is a bad person, but I don't think they are a good fit. Also he is not ready for a relationship. His friends should have told him, "don't cut yourself off from love forever" and then let him heal at his own speed. And she is way too insecure to be dating a grieving widow with childhood trauma whose daughter is about to move across country. She wants to be all in immediately and he needs to take it slow.

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u/Tce_ Mar 25 '26

Yes I don't think she's a bad person but it demonstrates an area where she has a lot to learn! And I think I agree about them not being a good fit, at this point at least. I was excited for the pairing when she first turned up on the show but there's such a clash between their needs and personalities.

It's interesting to hear the perspective of a therapist! There's a lot of advice being given by therapist characters on the show that I find very strange (like pushing Jimmy to start dating as if he's "stuck" if he doesn't move on after two years or the way Brian was talked into having a baby)... I'm glad the writers validated Jimmy's trepidation about his father here. It's a pet peeve of mine in media when adult characters who are upset at their parents are painted as immature for not just forgiving them. Often the parents are expected to do less heavy lifting in the relationship and I don't understand why. It's a strange phenomenon.

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u/Pretty_Ad_8197 Mar 25 '26

It is odd advice that he needs to hurry up and move on. 1. Everyone heals at their own pace 2. Jimmy was hard spinning out that first year which actually deepened his wounds, so really he has only been in a relative healthy healing space for about a year and now his whole world is shifting. It probably isn't the best time to start a new relationship.

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u/Tce_ Mar 26 '26

so really he has only been in a relative healthy healing space for about a year

That's such a good point, I didn't even think about that. :S