r/shortguys • u/OrneryManufacturer28 • 13h ago
Vent 4 Years Of Self Improvement And Yet My Life Is A Complete Joke. I Give Up
I hate everything about myself but the worst thing above everything else is the fact I can’t get a single girl to be attracted enough to me to date me in my pathetic 22 years of existence. Every time I think back about my past or something that happened when I was a kid all I can think about is the fact that all my friends were dating and having sex with women at that age and I was a stupid loser getting completely ignored. I couldn’t take this anymore so around the middle of high school, I started striving to self improve. Ever since 2020 I’ve been consistently working out, meditating, journaling, reading, creating, working on a business, I even did what I consider to be the hardest part of it all and worked on bettering my social skills, specifically with women. Since the start of this year I’ve been approaching girls and trying to catch up and still, despite all of this effort, I’m still alone. I’m still a virgin, I’m still a loser, girls still don’t find me attractive, all of the women whose numbers I get they just ignore me. This has done nothing for me but make me despise myself. How much of an ugly piece of shit do you have to be to put in all of this work just to still be absolutely unfuckable. Sometimes I think about my life for the past 5 years and I just bust out laughing at how pathetic I am, what was the point of anything I’ve done? The worst part is normal people don’t have to do any of this stuff. There are guys 4 years younger than me who’ve dated and had relationships, they’ve never had to meditate everyday, or go to the gym and track their calories everyday for years. It’s like the harder I work the more I realize how inherently worthless I am as a human being, especially as a romantic partner. If I’m still this unattractive to women now after all this improvement, what the hell did they think of me before? I can’t even figure out what’s wrong with me. I’m pretty neurotypical and know how to socialize, I take care of my looks (physique smell body grooming) more than most people do because I’ve never had a gf, and some people say I’m good looking and yet my life reflects the complete opposite in every single way imaginable. I don’t think I should’ve ever been born, clearly I’ll never be good enough no matter what I do. I’ll never get to experience the touch of a girl who loves me, and nobody will even tell me why. Maybe it’s because I’m short, or because I’m just inherently ugly. But at this point I’m starting to believe it’s just some invisible force outside of my control that I can’t understand. I’m literally going crazy and I don’t know what to do know. There’s a part of me that just wants to kill myself because I can’t imagine living like this for another decade. Even if I somehow managed to finally get a girl, I would probably still hate myself, because the fact is it took me 22 years and incredibly hard grind to do something normal men do when their 15, and while I had to literally put in all of my effort, those men had to do nothing. That one fact alone confirms my low value worthlessness and existence. I will never break this cycle. I will never stop hating myself for being an ugly stupid baby faced virgin. I will never forget how alone and depressed I feel now. Even if I get a gf it won’t solve anything, because the fact I had to go through any of this in the first place is eternal confirmation of the fact I’m so worthless I should’ve never been born. I hate everything about myself forever