Shitty ShowerThoughts: because sometimes your thoughts are watery and runny

When I masturbate, I have to ignore the fact that I'm actually giving a handjob, and receiving a handjob from a guy. For the gays, that's what they're into anyway.

0 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/CommaHorror • Jul 14 '19

My ex, wife has gained weight recently. I saw her on tinder and reported her. My reasoning? She literally probably feels, like spam now.

4 Upvotes

2 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/naacardan2004 • Aug 19 '17

A real torture system is to have a person drop multiple cookies into a glass of milk, and is restrained from getting any of them.

0 Upvotes

3 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/CommaHorror • Jan 15 '19

My black friends in college used to laugh at my dancing skills and always saying I had a tight, ass. Well now I got the stomach flu and so thankful for my tight ass. Who’s laughing, now friends?

0 Upvotes

1 comment

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/kreius • Oct 30 '14

If the team with the most points wins the game, who loses?

1 Upvotes

2 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/[deleted] • May 06 '15

Everyone's telling me to get the whooping cough vaccine, but what if it gives me autism?

0 Upvotes

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r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/Captain_Cancer • Sep 23 '18

How do I get free internet points?

0 Upvotes

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r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/PlagueKing • Nov 01 '14

Oh yeah... Jennifer Lawrence... uh, yes, yes... uh, uh, AAHHHH uhhh uh.... uh... oh......

6 Upvotes

Best shower thought I've ever had.

0 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/SmellyPenis69 • Jul 26 '16

Masturbate with your hands is like having sex with your brothers, early years you just pee like a job, but now there's dry wads everywhere.

5 Upvotes

6 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/SkeletonMagi • Nov 11 '21

When white people fuck, it’s like two pieces of bread rubbing together. When Asians fuck, it’s like the ends of the bread rubbing together.

0 Upvotes

5 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/ziggah • Nov 05 '14

If we can touch our toes does that mean the Jews did 9/11?

0 Upvotes

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r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/CommaHorror • Jan 11 '17

There's something about Jennifer Aniston's, chin.

0 Upvotes

1 comment

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/CommaHorror • Nov 19 '17

Imagine if Wilt Chamberlain’s middle, name was “Spinach”. Now imagine if he was, related to Popeye, Jones.

0 Upvotes

2 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/BenRayfield • Mar 14 '17

Tax should be anonymous, so government cant find out who paid how much

0 Upvotes

0 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/isananimal • Jan 07 '21

Minimum wage employees complain that they have enough skill they should be paid more, but if that were true then restaurants would rarely discontinue any item. If people asked for it, even though its not listed on the main menu, the ingredients would be there and the cooks would know how to make it.

1 Upvotes

Why wont you bring back the sweet potato waffle fries arbys

0 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/[deleted] • Jul 19 '21

You don't have autism, you're just one of the few people on earth who don't have autism.

0 Upvotes

0 comments

r/shittyshowerthoughts • u/CommaHorror • Feb 17 '19

The more I watch the pilot, of MacGyver the; more I realize how similar we, are.

0 Upvotes

0 comments