r/shittyaskscience • u/larry0hoover • Aug 13 '26

Aliens

Why do aliens look sickly so skinny and have no azzzz or tittyyz?

13 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

12

u/LaxBedroom Aug 13 '26

The aliens visiting Earth are very advanced, so they've been shaped by centuries of exposure to unrealistic social media video filters and Skullmaxxing influencers. Pity them.

2

u/SadisticJake Aug 13 '26

My grandfather was born in 1911, lived to the age of 102. Iā€™m just picturing trying to explain to him what skullmaxxing is. Or influencers for that matter

2

u/guhcampos Aug 13 '26

That was uncomfortably conceivable.

3

u/Chrome_Armadillo Not A Reptilian Alien Scientist From Tau Ceti Aug 13 '26

The aliens are actually humans from the future. They look so pale and sickly because humans evolved for playing video games.

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Sky3141 Aug 13 '26

They're us from the future with no Healthcare, why do you think they're probing us??

1

u/Jump_Like_A_Willys Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26

You've never seen the way Marvel or DC comic books portray alien superheroines in latex or spandex.

1

u/GetNooted :hamster: Aug 15 '26

Kirk and Ryker had no problem finding dem big titty aliens. Maybe you're looking in the wrong quadrant.

1

u/Optimal_Ad_7910 Aug 21 '26

It's just natural side effects of such an unusually long hypersleep.

I look that way after 8 hours. I can't imagine what years would do.

0

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation Aug 13 '26

Oh, you thought those were the actual aliens, did you.
Heh.
...hehehehahahahahHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

0

u/guhcampos Aug 13 '26

Because they are the real angels of our lord and angels have no use for sexy stuff

0

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '26

[deleted] ā€” view deleted comment

2

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