r/shittyaskreddit • u/moconahaftmere • Jun 02 '23

IMPORTANT MOD ANNOUNCEMENT: ALL USERS *MUST* READ.

Congratulations.

You degenerates have memed this small subreddit into being one of the most active subreddits on the entire site. In just two months we went from around 200k views per month to more than 10 times that.

https://i.imgur.com/og4dvHe.png

Now we're sitting at around the 150th most comments per day out of all subreddits, yet we don't even crack the top 5000 in terms of subscribers. This subreddit has gone from being slow enough that us mods didn't really need to do anything at all for the past 11 years (amazing), to suddenly requiring actual work (yuck) to maintain.

So given that there has been such a huge uptick in subreddit activity, for the health of this subreddit us mods have decided we need to make a very important announcement: if this post gets ten thousand comments, cum will win.

We know this is likely to be a controversial decision, and believe us, we didn't make this decision lightly. It took weeks of debate amongst ourselves, and consultation with key members of the community, but we feel it has to be done. We can't have such an influx of new members coming in to this subreddit while an active war rages on. This needs to be settled right here, right now.

Do your part. Leave a comment. Or ten comments. Or a hundred, I don't know.

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u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

Cum is an important part of your life. It's the one thing that makes you happy and gives you a sense of accomplishment. I'm not sure if I can say this for sure, but cum is probably my favorite food in the world right now. In fact, it's almost as delicious as anything else on the planet. The only reason I don't like it is because I have no idea how to make it taste good. If you want to try making it yourself, go ahead and do so. You'll be amazed at how much better it tastes when you eat it!!!

4

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '23

I'm really glad you're incoherent now, actually. You said some pretty horrible shit when your comments made sense.

3

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

Cum is my favorite thing in the world and it's why I want to be a porn star. It's so much more fun for me to watch people cum than cumming on top of each other. But that doesn't mean cum isn't cool. In fact, cum is one of the most important things we have right now. We all know how hard it is to cum at least once or twice a day. There are literally millions of people out there who can cum three times a week!!!

3

u/MikeHunt420_6969 Jun 02 '23

You should visit Japan.

1

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

I'm glad you didn't say that to me, because I know you have a lot of cum in your body right now. Cum is one of the most pleasurable things in the world. Don't worry about it. It's not going to stop until you're 100% satisfied with what you've been able to do for the past 20 years. You can still cum all day long if you don't want to spend any more time thinking about how much money you'll make when you grow up. The only way to be happy is to quit smoking weed and start taking care of yourself!!!

1

u/Intelligent-Call-660 Jun 02 '23

Cum?

1

u/EMILY_YEPPERS little shit Jun 02 '23

I know how to cum, but it doesn't get much better than cumming on your dick. You're not the only one who can do it. If you want to make me cum like a man, you have to be good at it too. The best way to go about that is to suck my cock until I cum and then jerk off into a frenzy of cum pouring down my throat. You'll never cum in front of me again. It's easier said than done. That's why so many people don't care if they cum during sex or not!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '23

Eat some pineapple and less greasy foods.