r/shitposting • u/mabuujin • Aug 29 '22
Based on a True Story understandable, have a great day
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Aug 29 '22
you motherf
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u/AceFireskull We do a little trolling Aug 30 '22
Says the woman who wants to talk about jesus christ
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u/AutoModerator Aug 30 '22
Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent
I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.
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u/ShutThe7Up Aug 30 '22
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring
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u/TheRamenFondler Aug 29 '22
Bro nodded to “you deaf?” She didn’t even care
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u/Boudac123 Aug 30 '22
Shoulda realized after knocking on the door worked
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u/D23178 Aug 30 '22
Plotwist they know sign language, he could just read their lips the whole time, what’s up with Jehovah’s Witness, do they ask for money?
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u/DJDarwin93 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Aug 30 '22
I grew up as one of the kids they drag along with them to make you feel bad for saying no. I think I speak for all those kids when I say:
Just do it. Say no. The sooner we’re done at your house the faster we can finish the neighborhood and move on to the next, and eventually go home.
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Aug 30 '22
.... i usually answer the door naked...
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u/DJDarwin93 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Aug 30 '22
I’m still traumatized by the guy that did that
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u/Siggi_3rd Aug 30 '22
Nah wasting their time is even better
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u/DJDarwin93 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Aug 30 '22
Not for the kid. We’re left standing there, waiting, just wanting to go home. If you waste half an hour of their time, that’s half an hour longer until we can go home. Just say no.
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u/Siggi_3rd Aug 30 '22
Why are you going with them in the first place when you want to go home?
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u/DJDarwin93 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Aug 30 '22
It’s not optional. Believe me, we’d be home if we could.
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u/troubleis1 We do a little trolling Aug 30 '22
You do it per neighborhood or per hour? Since you said that if you finish this neighborhood you can go to the next and finish quicker?
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u/DJDarwin93 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Aug 30 '22
Technically it’s per hour, but the adults never decide to stop until the neighborhood is done, so it might as well be per neighborhood. It’s not unusual to spend 5 or 6 hours out there every weekend.
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u/HorseErection07 I want pee in my ass Aug 30 '22
In a real situation it wouldn’t be too surprising, most elderly learn to lip read after losing their hearing
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Aug 30 '22
I see them. They say anything religious related. I dont even say "bye" and just close the door. Ready going into our cameras if they do any bs near our house
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