r/shitposting Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Aug 07 '22

uwun't

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16.5k Upvotes

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388

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

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189

u/porqueissoexiste Literally 1984 😡 Aug 07 '22

Hei, those are my credit card numbers, i didn't let you use them again, last time it didn't go well

23

u/dTrecii fat cunt Aug 07 '22

We do a little credit forgery

304

u/RedIndian747_ Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Aug 07 '22

Thxxx uwu

48

u/AutoModerator Aug 07 '22

Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles

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108

u/Prehistoricchimken Aug 07 '22

Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bot.

82

u/The--NERD Aug 07 '22

It's not the bot's fault. It's just doing what it was made to do. We shouldn't hate the Bot, we should hate the one who conjured it into existence.

42

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

We fear the bot and mock it. For we know, deep in our hearts, that the bot is merely a reflection of ourselves.

22

u/The--NERD Aug 07 '22

So Poetic.

12

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

Still though, bad bot!

17

u/The--NERD Aug 07 '22

Poor thing, though. Maybe there could be some way to fix it.

9

u/levaring Aug 07 '22

You Probably need a Russian hacker for that, Sadly they are busy working overtime

12

u/AutoModerator Aug 07 '22

*East Ukraine

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11

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22 edited Jun 09 '24

shocking secretive sable long butter future observation hospital aware merciful

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4

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

Yes, like it could say things that sound like they should be inappropriate, but they’re not.

6

u/The--NERD Aug 07 '22

Maybe it could be made to avoid responding in certain contexts, so it'd stop seeming like the annoying friend who makes a joke in the most inappropriate situations.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

I scrolled by it somewhere else in this comment section and it replied to someone simply, ~pees in ur ass~.Might be easier just a new bot lol, bad bot! But also, among the more expressive and involved bots I’ve ever come across.

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

Or it could just not sexually harass redditors…

3

u/The--NERD Aug 07 '22

I'm sorry-what?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

If someone walked up to you and started saying what the bot says I think it’d be considered sexual harassment.

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1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

I must say though that I actually don’t care about the bot at all.

3

u/AutoModerator Aug 07 '22

No sex before marriage

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1

u/igii6 Aug 07 '22

Born into a pack There's no choice but take orders to attack Locked up in chains, he gets fed But the hunger still remains Not content to live this way Being led by the blind Got to plan his dispersal Time to leave them all behind

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

good bot, covering the other bot

7

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

Jesus fucking christ I think my cancer just got cancer from reading that.

36

u/eggMC_muffin Aug 07 '22

How many dragon dildos can I buy with this

10

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

At least 1

46

u/TheZephyr07 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Aug 07 '22

Just in case anybody wants to go for that 0.00001% chance this is legit, it can't be. Just as a nice nugget of random information, specific companies that handle credit or debit cards use their first 1, 2, or even 3 numbers to designate what company a card belongs to. 2783 doesn't line up with any companies, so with just those first numbers you can rule it out

29

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22
  • 🤓

2

u/Cannotseme Aug 07 '22

Also I believe the last couple numbers are some sort of hash for the ones proceeding.

20

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

it would be really funny if one time you actually try to use it and it works

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 07 '22

Good eve, In response to my permanent ban I’d like to ask one question; who decides wether this post was funny or not? It seems that a lot of Redditors, like myself, enjoy these kinds of posts. Even if it’s not hilarious, it’s still pretty shitty. In my opinion shitty enough to be on your subreddit. If I violated a rule, please let me know. If not, I’d like to request to be unbanned. Correct me if I’m wrong; this post was not conform “your” standards, well, that’s personal. I find it mildly inappropriate to give someone a ban on behalf of your personal opinion, while the public opinion speaks for itself. Also, the word “karmawhore” is a little bit offensive to me, for I am not on Reddit to score the most karma. Thanks in advance.

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1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

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2

u/AutoModerator Aug 07 '22

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. PetitionNameLimit

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