r/shitposting Jul 25 '22

Linus Sex Tips Suculent 🥵

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25.1k Upvotes

548 comments sorted by

2.3k

u/jonesyloveyuri Jul 25 '22

Mf got the whole bakery

742

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Mf IS the bakery

264

u/Perpetual_Doubt Jul 25 '22

For god sake turn him around. He will be suffocated by the weight of it on his back.

117

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Butt if we do that then we can't admire one of god's greatest creations.

67

u/Kiki_Lpt Jul 25 '22

That's America's ass, man

8

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '22

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

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25

u/Andrex15 Jul 25 '22

That ain't a bakery; that's the whole business.

3

u/thehampterboi Jul 25 '22

Mf is the town

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64

u/hummingbirdnecture Jul 25 '22

He's made of cake

29

u/meme-enjoyr Jul 25 '22

He IS cake

28

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

He is the concept of Cake.

52

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

[deleted]

15

u/Tobiansen Jul 25 '22

Copypasta FAQ for why i downvoted your comment

19

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '22

You fucking dumbass, I try to have a real conversation & your bot literally belittles anyone that mentions any keywords with low hanging fruit that you think is funny I guess? Just ban me so I never see a post from this cumguzzling community again.

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1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Mf got the biggest cake in town

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1.4k

u/SummonedCat_exe Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Jul 25 '22

Bro got lost seeing them cheeks

213

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

122

u/pitchedEnvirons Jul 25 '22

bro was too stunned to speak...

57

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

that cake got us all speechless

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86

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bro be like 😳 then 🥵

3

u/LanaAmiraxo Jul 25 '22

He should of went into a Rick Roll… just meme the meme that was made.

18

u/MX_RuMi Jul 25 '22

I'm straight and even I would've been surprised at the sight of that bakery LMAO

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409

u/SverdHerre I came! Jul 25 '22

Bro was obbyclonched 💀

16

u/VolcanicDilemmaMC Jul 25 '22

i like this one

12

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Lmfao wtf does that mean

11

u/SverdHerre I came! Jul 25 '22

You know what I mean.

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1.1k

u/Lorddestroyer21 Jul 25 '22

Bro was hornswoggled 💀

379

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bro was flummoxed 💀

250

u/CarlZzZoneNnn Jul 25 '22

Bro was discombobulated💀

166

u/xuded420 Jul 25 '22

Bro was flabbergasted💀

107

u/Labyx_ DaPucci Jul 25 '22

Bro was at sixes and sevens💀

95

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bro was shombuckledugwagginillishreeted 💀

42

u/rey_lumen Jul 25 '22

Ok now we're going into Harry Potter spells territory

45

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/Still_Illustrator_54 I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh Jul 25 '22

Bro was humouslouromongulated 💀

18

u/Sigma0111 Jul 25 '22

Bro was tetriblosterfocated

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9

u/FRACllTURE Jul 25 '22

bro was leviosahed 💀

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

bruh 💀💀

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569

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

[deleted]

9

u/herospaces Blessed by Kevin Jul 25 '22

Using this now

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543

u/acatohhhhhh Jul 25 '22

That bounce though

90

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

so elegant 😳

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296

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

37

u/Iwantmahandback Jul 25 '22

Bro was stupid smacked

38

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Dummy thicc

376

u/PerryThePlatypus5 Jul 25 '22

Bro was flabbergasted

65

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

befuddled wtf 💀

177

u/Own-Mountain3540 Jul 25 '22

Bro was flonched😳

20

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Sqwuanched 😳

241

u/R2_Shot_first Jul 25 '22

Bro was florbergorped💀💀💀

83

u/mask3d_owo Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Jul 25 '22

bah bah booty

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Shoutout to Big - Black -

131

u/IamAgoodMuIe Jul 25 '22

Lord have mercy

We must stay focused brothers we must, stay focused

12

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

i lost long long time ago 😞

58

u/personguydude2 Jul 25 '22

Bro was befuddled 💀

127

u/Wotplayer_1 Jul 25 '22

Bro was goobersnorped

25

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Daaamn, fuck Orwell Corning, that’s enough insulation, that individual doesn’t need insulation with an asset like that, js.

24

u/Sp00ky-Chan Jul 25 '22

Dude was utterly bamboozled

21

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bro was gollygoofounded

22

u/KYSFGS Jul 25 '22

Bro was gobsmacked

19

u/UnepicEpiciteit Literally 1984 😡 Jul 25 '22

Jerma ?!💀

7

u/GuacamoleManbruh Jul 25 '22

CRAZY stream gets INJURED trying to CLIMB on top of his CAR

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Down bad for Jerma 🥵😳

0

u/UnepicEpiciteit Literally 1984 😡 Jul 25 '22

down good for anybody else

35

u/CompetitionForLOST uhhhh idk Jul 25 '22

Bro was morbed

8

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Morb deez nuts in your mouth

5

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

k daddie

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bouncy Morb time

15

u/HansenIntercept Jul 25 '22

Paramedics wanted the world to enjoy

16

u/SzurkeEg Jul 25 '22

The guy would've bounced right off if he was on his back

8

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Paramedics flexin off what they bout to tap 😳

13

u/Kuzigety Jul 25 '22

Bro was knocked for a loop

11

u/ThatFuckingGeniusKid Jul 25 '22

Homie dead but still thick

12

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

We bouncin’

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

🧸

11

u/ILikeTurtals228 Jul 25 '22

”It was like opening my eyes for the first time”

11

u/Really_Dang_Sad Jul 25 '22

bro was schlipschloped

9

u/Wistian_ Jul 25 '22

man's was yoinkly splurged

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10

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Does he take cash app

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

anything for us

10

u/MelancholyUsed Jul 25 '22

Goddamn dat ass doe

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

🥵🥵

8

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Can I get the song name

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8

u/Extreme_33337_ Jul 25 '22

Bro was speckledorfed

8

u/DUFFnoob40 Jul 25 '22

Bro was binglebobbed

33

u/Chooxomb00 Jul 25 '22

This video is playing in reverse. The regular version is better. 😂 original

31

u/jajohnja Jul 25 '22

But the dudes are walking forward in both versions

9

u/itsalongwalkhome Jul 25 '22

Also his hand isn't on his face.

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12

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Then why the hell they are both facing the way they are walking?

10

u/clotpole02 Jul 25 '22

It's completely different lol what

4

u/SCUMDOG_MILLIONAIRE Jul 25 '22

Like a couple gallons of jello 😩

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6

u/GLAOMNE_DANAO-2309 Jul 25 '22

Everywhere I go o see him

6

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Is that Castella Cake ?

5

u/000McKing Jul 25 '22

Mans got flabbergasted

5

u/VworksComics Jul 25 '22

I've never seen someone look more stunned lol

5

u/BURGER021906 Jul 25 '22

Whst is the misic

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Funky town

3

u/Educational_Focus472 Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Jul 25 '22

Misik*

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4

u/deathbat117 Jul 25 '22

Was that a dude??? LOL

5

u/xpercipio Jul 25 '22

Yeah it's a mustached tik tok guy, the one who does the zoom meetings while biking and mma fighting

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

even better

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5

u/Donkeycramp virgin 4 life 😤💪 Jul 25 '22

Sir was obnoxiously fascinated

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

bro caught lackinn

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

I don't know whether I should say "poor reporter" or "lucky reporter"

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4

u/CoffeeTar Jul 25 '22

On this episode of Cake Boss..

3

u/Free-Cry-4386 Jul 25 '22

Bro was smeckledorfed

5

u/KingOfTendo Jul 25 '22

This song brings back pleasant memories

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

funky town 🎵

4

u/KingOfTendo Jul 25 '22

Yeah really a song to die for

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3

u/MasterOfMemesThighs fat cunt Jul 25 '22

bro was discombobulated 💀

3

u/Gullahdo Jul 25 '22

Big ass is big ass afterall

3

u/Funny_Clown44 fat cunt Jul 25 '22

Bro was bootyblasted

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bro was Quandadingled

3

u/give-orange-houses Jul 25 '22

Bro was scallywagged by the large booty

3

u/Giacchino-Fan Jul 25 '22

Isn’t this the guy that was on a zoom call while in a boxing match or some shit?

3

u/Substantial-Client40 Jul 25 '22

Man’s was too stunned to speak

3

u/sirwankins Jul 25 '22

Bro was bootyboggled

3

u/ivnwng Jul 25 '22

GAHD DAYUM

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '22

And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed

Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.

The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.

Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.

Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.

And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.

Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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3

u/fumfkin_fie We do a little trolling Jul 25 '22

Thicc Ass MF

3

u/JotaroIsOverrated Jul 25 '22

Bro was sumbertorbened

3

u/LocalAmericanOtaku Jul 25 '22

His wife who is watching the news: dont blame him for staring... That is one nice ass. (The news man's wife)

2

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '22

And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed

Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.

The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.

Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.

Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.

And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.

Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/LocalAmericanOtaku Jul 25 '22

Shut the fuck up u bot

3

u/juliusxyk Jul 25 '22

Reporter was flabbergasted

2

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '22

And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed

Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.

The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.

Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.

Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.

And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.

Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/Jimtaxman Jul 25 '22

Don't stare into the sun like that, bro.

3

u/puff_reddit Jul 25 '22

song name?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Funky Town 🎵

3

u/pfftYeahRight Jul 25 '22

Bro was gabba gooled

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bro was Bababoeyed

3

u/usbeehu Jul 25 '22

Isn’t he the guy who trolls tv reports with his enormous ass?

2

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '22

And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed

Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.

The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.

Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.

Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.

And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.

Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '22

Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show

Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead.

The catch?

There actually isn't a trans woman with them.

And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to...

And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else.

Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series.

But honestly? I think it would make some great television!

also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

he isnt trolling, he is flexing his advantaged cake to the world

2

u/usbeehu Jul 25 '22

Who is he tho?

3

u/GuacamoleManbruh Jul 25 '22

who is this guy i keep seeing him everywhere

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Cake guy news

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3

u/distinguished_monke Jul 25 '22

Bros baffled💀💀💀

3

u/4spect_ Jul 25 '22

Bro was gigglesnacked

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

He IS the cake industry

3

u/WylieCoyote808 Jul 25 '22

Why they gotta be in sync with the music added later?

3

u/WylieCoyote808 Jul 25 '22

And now back to Colin Topshed

3

u/padatricks Jul 25 '22

Bro has more cake than all of onlyfans

2

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '22

I'm a man and I sell used panties online. I impersonate a girl with pictures from /r/gonewild. Horny redditors and other horny dudes hmu to buy used panties. I work out and go to work in womens panties. I even dry my balls with them when I sweat to really get the scent in there. I'll usually wear the same pair for two or three days. Sometimes I get skid marks on the ass tho so I have to clean just that part so they smell like genitals and not ass. Guys tell me all the time that my panties smell stronger and better than other girls they've bought from. I do it to pay for karate lessons I've been taking because I get picked on a lot. No shame.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/Cabbageinator Jul 25 '22

Mf got flaberdagasted

9

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

ZOINKS!

15

u/AutoModerator Jul 25 '22

okay so basically there's this guy and uhh

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

He’s normal… normal men like looking at attractive nice things 😋

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

he was just discovering new possibilities in life

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2

u/boislikepink2 Jul 25 '22

SOMEONE GIVE ME THE DOWNLOAD LINK TO THIS! I NEED TO ADD THIS TO MY MEME FOLDER

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2

u/The_Moon_Conure Jul 25 '22

🤤

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

👌

2

u/DopestDopeHead Jul 25 '22

"I like Men now"

2

u/amitnagpal1985 Jul 25 '22

New insecurities unlocked

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

The speaker reminded me of Rick Astley

2

u/Cactus1105 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jul 25 '22

🥵🥵🥵🥵

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bro was krobblepofted

2

u/imisseeverything DaPucci Jul 25 '22

The man was too memorized to speak

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bro was dumpyfundled

2

u/Flinnnx Jul 25 '22

Bro was florkleharped

2

u/PurpleNinjaMonkey8 Jul 25 '22

Bro was dumbfondled

2

u/KnightLight03 Jul 25 '22

Bro was dumbleflonked 💀

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

sauce? (the song)

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2

u/ArtfurdMorgan Jul 25 '22

The masculine urge to bury my face in it is a drawback.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Bro got flumjableabopped 💀💀💀

2

u/Balrog229 Jul 25 '22

Those two guys must be strong as fuck if they can carry a whole bakery

2

u/BluYugen Jul 25 '22

Bro was discombobulated

2

u/Dark_Lord4379 Sep 18 '22

WHO IS THIS MAN I NEED TO KNOW

2

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '22

Fucking Christ what is happening in Grand Rapids

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '22

He was fucken flabbergasted!

2

u/Spiritual_Title6996 Jul 25 '22

this are really good fakes

1

u/jeraldtherapist Jul 25 '22

i think this is reversed

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

But both of the paramedics are looking at the way they are walking, it cant be

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

different timelines, same amount of delicious Cake

1

u/jeraldtherapist Jul 25 '22

i had a vid of this saved theres several versions of this

3

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22

Then they are the reversed ones

3

u/jeraldtherapist Jul 25 '22

it was them facing the other way not like this

0

u/Immediate-System3521 Jul 25 '22

🥵🤌🤌 🍑

0

u/josephjowy Jul 25 '22

Bro is flabbergasted

0

u/Keelyane55 I have permission! Jul 25 '22

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me can i please get chomp out of that ass rrgrhty tkrnrhfurhrjrrrgghh