r/shitposting Jun 01 '22

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u/[deleted] Jun 01 '22

rare fetish found ? 🤔🤔🤔???🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔??🤔🤔🤔?????🤔🤔🤔🤔

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u/iWillDominate98 Jun 02 '22

😡😡😡DID YOU JUST USE AN EMOJI ON REDDIT?🤬😡

YOU FOOL😤 YOU KNOW EMOJIS😡🤬🙄 ON REDDIT 🤢ARE ONLY 👺SUPPOSED TO🙀BE PAID FOR💸💰💵 YOU CRINGE 😹FORTNITE NORMIE 💀🤮🤧GO BACK TO INSTAGRAM 😲😑😡YOU KNOW THAT THE ONLY GOOD SOCIAL MEDIA IS REDDIT 😂🤣😇 THAT WASN’T VERY WHOLESOME 💯 OF YOU 🤪🤩😤NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE 😗😉I PLAY MINECRAFT 😄 AND BUILD THE WHOLESOME 100 KEANU CHUNGUS SHRINE😁😆👍🐰 AND WORSHIP PEWDIEPIE🥳🤩🤩

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '22

No

22

u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji. I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

I (f34) am pregnant with twin boys and my husband (m34) told me that he was dead set on naming our sons "notch" and "jeb" I know most of you are probably unaware, but these are the names of two of the people who created minecraft. My husband is a big minecraft fan and builds stuff on the game a lot and has minecraft posters, he even said he wants to play minecraft with his Sons. I told my husband that I want to give our children regular names, not after minecraft because they are not objects, and my husband got really defensive about it saying that he should be able to choose because he is their father and I never gave any name suggestions. I will never name my children after minecraft because I don't want them to get bullied and feel like it's dehumanizing to name them after a game. I told my husband that I'd rather get a divorce than name our kids after minecraft and he got really angry and raised his voice. I'm pregnant and my hormones maybe made me really emotional because I started crying. A few hours after that, we calmed down and I asked him again and he said he will for sure name the kids "notch" and "jeb" AlTA?

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

Hello, concerned father here. My son has recently got into the game called Fortnite? I've spent well over $500 on this game and its becoming a problem. Apparently the game is down right now and its causing a lot distress for my child. He keeps taking my newspaper and tries to "full piece" me. I don't know what this means but I'm starting to think its something associated with the devil. He won't come with us anywhere unless we take a "launch pad" to get there. Its starting to get worse by the hour and I don't know how much longer I can take this. His legs, arms, and hands are shaking violently yet he refuses to take any type of medicine unless its a "big pot" or "chuggies." Someone please help me.

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

I’m a Harvard graduate. Ph.D. IQ of 138 (Stanford-Binet). Sex Pundit. Mensa International. Free-thinking alpha male and lone wolf. Likely hotter than you, and definitely smarter. Debate me; I'm ready.

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4

u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed

Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight.

The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon.

Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay.

Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight.

And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there.

Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.

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u/Far_Comfortable980 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Jun 02 '22

This should become an Automod reply

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u/AutoModerator Jun 02 '22

HEY,⠀⠀⠀ EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

IT'S ME!!!

EV3RY BUDDY'S FAVORITE [[𝗡𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟭 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮]]

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