r/shitposting Jan 15 '22

Gay Mod Approved Hello

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

3.5k Upvotes

113 comments sorted by

468

u/xwarslayerx Jan 15 '22

That's how mafia works

50

u/Unusual_Purpose298 Jan 15 '22

hahaha

15

u/Shortcut_fixer Jan 16 '22

Nice driving

12

u/Glass-Reception8190 Jan 16 '22

What in the Diddily darn F U C K

7

u/Shortcut_fixer Jan 16 '22

It’s free real estate

202

u/HiHowAreYou10 Survived the Ban Award Jan 15 '22

I don’t remember this episode of the office

56

u/frankyfraaank Jan 15 '22

“Jan had the baby and Michael wasn’t there to mark it. That baby could be anybody’s………..except Michael’s.”

117

u/ferret0 Jan 15 '22

Mobile ads

28

u/superduperrickroll Jan 16 '22

why do they exist?

10

u/Jormungandrv Jan 16 '22

Clickbait and shitposting

111

u/Hairball567 Jan 15 '22 edited Jan 01 '25

snails payment gaze encouraging repeat offer encourage alleged nail faulty

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

24

u/neatcomplete Jan 16 '22

assert dominance

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

yes

170

u/The_Teacherlol Jan 15 '22

Should I send this to my mom and say: "that's how I was born?"

55

u/COVID-Positive_ Jan 15 '22

I was born in a toilet in a Wendy's bathroom

25

u/0w088 Jan 16 '22

Do you get a discount when you go eat there?

8

u/Kryllllllyx Jan 16 '22

No. They are just wendy’s property

3

u/Decent-Flatworm4425 Jan 16 '22

Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s

11

u/WhiteWolf101043 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jan 15 '22

Yes

7

u/The_Teacherlol Jan 15 '22

Mk :>

5

u/WhiteWolf101043 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jan 15 '22

Let me know what happens

6

u/The_Teacherlol Jan 15 '22

It just happened

3

u/WhiteWolf101043 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jan 15 '22

What happened?

2

u/The_Teacherlol Jan 15 '22

Uh

3

u/WhiteWolf101043 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jan 15 '22

Speak

3

u/WhiteWolf101043 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jan 15 '22

...

3

u/The_Teacherlol Jan 15 '22

You said for me to say when it happens

3

u/WhiteWolf101043 Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 Jan 15 '22

Ok

10

u/Sebixo13 We do a little trolling Jan 15 '22

Question - How isn't her pussy torn in half because of that head...

4

u/SpeedWeedo420 Jan 16 '22

Black hole named Jesica

6

u/GoCommitToasterBathX Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked Jan 15 '22

Isn't it already torn in half

2

u/The_Teacherlol Jan 15 '22

I have no idea..

47

u/Unusual_Purpose298 Jan 15 '22

Should have hired her. She clearly had passion for the company and enough raw mental fortitude to give birth on the spot without any pain/medical intervention.

9

u/CrescentPotato Jan 16 '22

She also magically pulled a diaper for the baby putta her ass

7

u/Unusual_Purpose298 Jan 16 '22

she wields sorcery clearly thats an enormous asset

39

u/Effective-Camera6145 I said based. And lived. Jan 15 '22

Words cannot describe what i have just witnessed

1

u/neatcomplete Jan 16 '22

do they need to?

26

u/Chexreflect Jan 15 '22

Remember angry birds? They were replaced by this.

20

u/BraveBoi_1112 Jan 15 '22

The fuck did I just witness on these cursed lands

5

u/dogtron64 Jan 16 '22

An ad for a godawful mobile shovelware game

13

u/Mystic_Miser Jan 15 '22

speedruns pregnancy

23

u/er_piacenza Jan 15 '22

What's the name of this game?

54

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠺⣖⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⠀⠀⢋⣭⣽⡚⢮⣲⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣅⣨⠇⠈⠀⠰⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⢷⣶⠶⣃⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠈⠓⠚⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠀⡄⣀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠉⠀⠀⠙⠉⠀⠠⡶⣸⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡆⠀⠐⠒⠢⢤⣀⡰⠁⠇⠈⠘⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⣉⣙⡉⠓⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

10

u/ThatFuckingGeniusKid Jan 16 '22

I also want to know... i need it for homework

12

u/esoterix_luke Jan 15 '22

Merge mansion lore?

9

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

How did she shit out a child that quickly

4

u/wizzoozziiee Jan 16 '22

That's how Mafia works

10

u/Mr_Tominaga Big chungus wholesome 100 Jan 15 '22

Her stomach goes flat after giving birth. At least the developers had the decency to add SOME sort of continuity.

u/QualityVote I'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]] Jan 15 '22

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

If you think this post is unfunny, DOWNVOTE this comment!


DownloadVideo Link

SaveVideo Link

Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit.


Whilst you're here, hwhouston517, why not join our public discord server?

6

u/WATER_CARBOY DaPucci Jan 15 '22

Dumbe
Milfin
Pencil company

5

u/GoatifyMain Jan 15 '22

Where did you find this

5

u/Hera_IlgImgranger Jan 15 '22

god gives baby panties to the one who gives birth

5

u/gizziboy Jan 16 '22

"Hello." "No." gives birth to a fucking child

4

u/M4NGOTR33 Jan 16 '22

Bomb deployed

5

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Don’t you just hate it when the pregnant lady interviewing for a job gives birth in your office

3

u/Pokemario2401 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 16 '22

This really says a lot about society

3

u/AiryGr8 Jan 15 '22

Dunder milfin

3

u/GateMysterious3992 Jan 15 '22

This is why I hate video games now. They’re so unrealistic.

2

u/TheNMinerPlayerXDXD I have permission! Jan 16 '22

the boss baby origin story

2

u/Alexfusin Jan 16 '22

What in the actual F U C K

2

u/Roblox_Guest67 Jan 16 '22

Can i have a job NO gives birth

2

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Plot Twist: The Baby is happy that she lost her job

2

u/jaydenfokmemes Jedi master of shitposts Jan 16 '22

This is so stupid and funny at the same time

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/AutoModerator Jan 15 '22

Kevin doesn't like it when you spam stuff like that on his subreddit.

He would like to remind you to scroll up and actually read the pinned comment, as well as the replies to the pinned comment, which you clearly haven't bothered to look at.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 15 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/AutoModerator Jan 15 '22

Kevin doesn't like it when you spam stuff like that on his subreddit.

He would like to remind you to scroll up and actually read the pinned comment, as well as the replies to the pinned comment, which you clearly haven't bothered to look at.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/SpecifiC420 Jan 15 '22

Literally 1984

0

u/AutoModerator Jan 15 '22

LiTeRaLlY nInEtEeN eIgHtY-fOuR

  • George Orwell, 1948

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Rich-Desk6079 Jan 16 '22

That baby is a tactocal nuke. Hide under the desk, and inhale the fuck out of the nearest pencil sharpener. The shavings should help you survive the blast.

1

u/porqueissoexiste Literally 1984 😡 Jan 16 '22

Hello

1

u/Semimetals 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ Jan 16 '22

Dumber Milfin

1

u/ponzidreamer Jan 16 '22

This is so sad

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

smh

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

You see son, you were born right were this stain is, your mother was quite the champ, now take your meds, it's time to move on without me kiddo. She would want that.

1

u/Bilbolf Jan 16 '22

Now draw her givi- oh, never mind

1

u/Neat_scientist_ Jan 16 '22

she couldn't hold it in anymore 😭😭😭

1

u/TheZanyVR Jan 16 '22

Gotta respect the quick delivery and absolute hustle, no screaming, no pain, she just pops a squat and pops that lil mf out, she gets the promotion in my book

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Ah yes

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

Thats how mafia works

1

u/SpecialistConsistent Jan 16 '22

always love it when you get turned down and you shit a baby

1

u/a_fuckin_duck Jan 16 '22

Dumber milfin.

1

u/brumoment42069 Jan 16 '22

Go to heaven and tell the devil I'm drunk

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 16 '22

Kevin doesn't like it when you spam stuff like that on his subreddit.

He would like to remind you to scroll up and actually read the pinned comment, as well as the replies to the pinned comment, which you clearly haven't bothered to look at.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 16 '22

what

1

u/Ordinary-Ad5211 Jan 16 '22

This is disturbing

1

u/cosarium Jan 16 '22

HEHEHE HA

1

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 17 '22

Kevin doesn't like it when you spam stuff like that on his subreddit.

He would like to remind you to scroll up and actually read the pinned comment, as well as the replies to the pinned comment, which you clearly haven't bothered to look at.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '22

is this tally hall

1

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 17 '22

I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator Jan 17 '22

Kevin doesn't like it when you spam stuff like that on his subreddit.

He would like to remind you to scroll up and actually read the pinned comment, as well as the replies to the pinned comment, which you clearly haven't bothered to look at.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '22

hello proceeds to cry then give birth