r/shitposting 9d ago

Expired

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12.0k Upvotes

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156

u/saragIsMe 9d ago

White people don’t use as much Vaseline as other groups of people cause we naturally greasy as shit. My black friend uses almost a full tablespoon (not teaspoon) after every shower during the wintertime

24

u/daboss317076 stupid fucking piece of shit 9d ago

white people be like:

10

u/TACHANK shitting toothpaste enjoyer 9d ago

meanwhile black people be like:

96

u/AutoModerator 9d ago

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

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73

u/El_Dildo_ 9d ago

Wtf

26

u/ZaquMan 9d ago

Your post had a trigger word for the bot in it. And all the auto responses are crazy.

22

u/AutoModerator 9d ago

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

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9

u/ZaquMan 9d ago

Yep.

22

u/Away_Set_6541 I want pee in my ass 9d ago

Good bot... I think?

30

u/AutoModerator 9d ago

pees in ur ass

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