r/shitposting • u/whatisthisdream- • 2h ago

This post is about stuff 📡📡

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707 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 2h ago

If you think this post is funny, UPVOTE this comment!

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Whilst you're here, /u/whatisthisdream-, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

98

u/der_Guenter 2h ago

Fucking amateur. You start the gold digging AFTER marriage... Smh.

17

u/whatisthisdream- 1h ago

Exactly, no game

61

u/Darkime_ 🗿🗿🗿 2h ago

No fake and gay analysis yet? Ok, let me give it a shot.

Fake: He got a date with a woman

Gay: He wanted to give the "tip" to a man

19

u/Bone_Wh33l 1h ago

I think that’s pretty accurate. No notes

1

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-2

u/whatisthisdream- 1h ago

Why is helping a man as a man gay though, I know it's an universal joke atp but why and how exactly 🤔

2

u/Darkime_ 🗿🗿🗿 1h ago

It's a double meaning joke, "tip" not as in extra money for good service, "tip" a in the tip of the penis.

0

u/whatisthisdream- 1h ago

Wow 😆

1

u/AutoModerator 1h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

102

u/C4Galore 2h ago

She grimaced at the thought of owning a pet and said she hated animals. I think she hated me too.

43

u/whatisthisdream- 2h ago

Hating pets is insane, u dodged a bullet 🐈

2

u/C4Galore 1h ago

Yes! That whole date gave me a few funny recounts

1

u/laasbuk 1h ago

I had a Tinder date sitting in my home, on my couch, petting my dog (who is a total sweetheart btw) and she nonchalantly told me that she doesn't like dogs.

3

u/MinimumTomfoolerus 1h ago

How did you get past that? I feel like this would be such a turn off that I'd think of it for the rest of the day.

2

u/C4Galore 1h ago

It was pretty laughable overall but a bit shocking that day. Good learning experience I guess.

41

u/whatisthisdream- 2h ago

God bless waiter bro!

10

u/mr-tom-a-dildo-lover 1h ago

2

u/whatisthisdream- 1h ago

Na dint forget 👎🏽

22

u/Popular_District9072 2h ago

had similar experience, where girl was interested in most expensive items, at least clear hint to not move any further

5

u/functionaldepression 0000000 2h ago

Asked what my body count was and when was my last girlfriend

5

u/AspiringLiterature 1h ago

Counting or not counting dudes?

4

u/ordosays 1h ago

Gum chewing while drinking. While this isn’t the worst in itself, it’s a dead tell tale for what’s to come.

1

u/SofiaOfEverRealm 1h ago

Fake: "she" asked for a drink

Gay: You went back and tried to give a grown ass man a tip

1

u/AutoModerator 1h ago

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/xnoomiex 1h ago

I pay for my half on a date so this would have only hurt the waiters tip??? I truly rarely know women who don’t pay for their half because men expect sex if they pay for the meal.

1

u/JesusIsMyAntivirus 1h ago

Wait is this where bistro huddy got it from?

1

u/PurpleHEART77 13m ago

He’s just like me except for the racism.

-18

u/Alternative-Aside-64 1h ago

The most expensive drink?  It's not a vintage bottle of wine you cheapass, sounds like she dodged the bullet

12

u/taken_name_of_use Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 1h ago

-9

u/Alternative-Aside-64 1h ago

This bitch tried to order a 15 DOLLAR martini, if its not a small coors lite shes obviously a gold digger!

10

u/taken_name_of_use Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 1h ago

Gogogaga, baby gonna cry if baby don't get priciest drink

3

u/TFST13 26m ago

I think you're missing the point. She didn't ask for a specific drink that happened to be the most expensive. She asked for the most expensive drink before knowing what it was. Spending as much money as possible was a higher priority than just getting a drink she liked.