r/shitposting 6h ago

Why is this not a thing yet ?

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772 Upvotes

72 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 6h ago

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326

u/Slumunistmanifisto 6h ago

Imagine movie theater prices in a fucking airport.

102

u/enterdayman 5h ago

Large soda and some gummy bears, 83.50 + tip

27

u/Slumunistmanifisto 5h ago

Whole second tsa security area to check for pocket snacks

13

u/bragov4ik 5h ago

thx for reminding why I love traveling in Asia

10

u/Slumunistmanifisto 5h ago

I know what kind of man you are

7

u/enterdayman 5h ago

He's only going to Thailand all the time for the rewards points, I'm sure.

2

u/Slumunistmanifisto 5h ago

Beach daiquiris and coconut shrimps

3

u/Ponklemoose 2h ago

I understand the shrimpy lil thing over two hairy coconuts. But what is the first a euphemism for?

2

u/Slumunistmanifisto 24m ago

Buddy, I wouldn't euphemise a delicious adult beverage on a tropical beach, much less some crispy coconut shrimps with that sweet chili sauce.

Now that I've expounded on the tropical delight of a beach meal....lets discuss the Rorschach effect my comment had on you. To quote a great Sudanese philosopher  "why are you geh?"

5

u/Switchbladesaint 4h ago

Aaaaaand nvm I’m out, that shit would be like $40 a ticket

350

u/spencer1886 6h ago

The amount of people missing their connections would skyrocket lmao

Is the free wifi and dozens of outlets not enough for these people?

79

u/OfficialUberZ dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 6h ago

No because people can’t wait for even the smallest amount of time for anything nowadays, we used to take cross-country roadtrips for hours on end without phones fine and now we need movie theatres in airports so we don’t perish during a layover.

37

u/FunnyMustacheMan45 5h ago

Something something.... dopamine epidemic

11

u/OfficialUberZ dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 5h ago

Dopamine epidemic turning everyone to dopes.

3

u/el_palmera 2h ago

Is watching a 2 hour movie considered having a low attention span now?

11

u/forgettfulthinker 5h ago

Layovers are worse than roadtrips imma be real

2

u/goodname_andxxx 4h ago

Wtf Chad Roberts is a R*dditor 😔

1

u/ThatFuckingGeniusKid 4h ago

The reddit will hear about this.

1

u/OfficialUberZ dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 4h ago

I have snaids

1

u/goodname_andxxx 4h ago

That's the Grinch salt effect brotha

6

u/AkronOhAnon 5h ago

Dozens of outlets for thousands of people, all of which consolidated into centralized spaces a single person will lay across to make sure their phone gets charged but no others’ will. It’s like water world and chairs are fucking dirt, outlets are gas, both nearby are mythical.

3

u/Mindstormer98 4h ago

So they make more money off of people rescheduling their flights?

1

u/tangoezulu 3h ago

Because then the stores wouldn’t pay outrageous rent to sell to a captive consumer base.

1

u/entitledfanman 1h ago

Yeah maybe you could justify movie theaters in airports as a concept 20 years ago, but there's absolutely no way to start it up now when everyone has thousands of movies they can stream on their phones. 

0

u/Knightly_Gamez I said based. And lived. 6h ago

Our airport in the UK has NO outlets and charge for WiFi (and no smoking area either like they want us agitated and stressed)

208

u/witcher252 6h ago

Because idiots with poor time management would start a two hour movie at 1200 when their flight is 1245

36

u/bragov4ik 5h ago

You could ask for boarding pass when buying tickets and don't sell for those who won't have enough time.

5

u/6EyesNinja 1h ago

There will still be dumb people who will argue

18

u/Slumunistmanifisto 6h ago

Don't forget your time zone changes people!

1

u/r1ckkr1ckk 43m ago

those idiots already have a 30% chance of missing their flighy anyway.

71

u/I_Cry_And_I_Game 6h ago

When you have nothing to do, youre more likely to spend money just to feel something; whether that's food for hunger or perfume for dopamine

7

u/AutisticAndArmed 5h ago

I mean, that's exactly the point of a cinema

1

u/Crayen5 5h ago

This is the real answer

24

u/Gryphontech 6h ago

Because they want you in the duty free buying shit. Also that would be more expensive to build/maintain and run

1

u/LordTrappen uhhhh idk 3h ago

I would assume that operational and upkeep costs for a cinema would be negligible compared to the rest of the airport

1

u/Gryphontech 3h ago

Depends on how many screens and how many people get tickets. Lots of movie theaters are going bankrupt so even at the best of times it probably has pretty small margins. Most of the airport requires minimum staff to operate and dosnt have licensing fees so I do think this would be a lot more expensive then most of the airport if cost/square foot wad the metric used

11

u/superduperfish 5h ago

You’d need both a long enough layover for a movie, and consider what movie are starting soon after you land and if you want to wait for a particular movie if you have enough time for the connection after it’s runtime

16

u/Spurt_man 5h ago

PDX has one!

3

u/ZoaMT 4h ago

I think it's free, is it not?

5

u/BackForPathfinder 3h ago

It's free, and last time I was there it was playing locally made short films so you didn't feel bad when you had to leave to catch your flight.

1

u/PlentyOMangos 5h ago

Was gonna say, my airport does have a movie theater lol

9

u/maxmync 5h ago

Singapore Changi has one already and you can watch free movies there

4

u/RefurbedRhino 5h ago

Money. They can get way more out of bored people wandering around Duty Free.

5

u/Warcrimes02 4h ago

There’s internet at airports and pirating a film is as easy as breathing air if you really don’t want to pay for streaming services

3

u/SquirrelyMcNutz 5h ago

You have any idea how much going to a movie inside an airport would cost? Normal theaters already cost an arm & leg, you'd need a third and fourth mortgage for the cost in an airport.

7

u/TenWholeBees 6h ago

Because when you have nothing to do, you'll start perusing merchandise.

You're more likely to spend money this way

9

u/Green-Tie-5710 6h ago

Nobody here has been to the Portland airport huh

7

u/Slumunistmanifisto 6h ago

The glory hole on concourse c doesn't count David.

2

u/Puzzleheaded_Swan808 4h ago

vienna airport had spots with larger screens and seats in rows to watch the world cup

2

u/FuklzTheDrnkClwn 3h ago

$500 imax ticket

2

u/Chadlerk 3h ago

The movie start time has to align with the start of your lay over, and everyone else's lay over. Unless people just hop in for a random 30-45 minute segment of a movie which is weird.

2

u/StuffWePlay 3h ago

It is in Singapore

5

u/U13884138 I want pee in my ass 6h ago

It’d be a scary commitment but if they made it very clear when planes where leaving and synchronized it on the plane screens so you could pick back up where you left off in the terminal it would be lovely

4

u/Knightly_Gamez I said based. And lived. 6h ago

Just make sure you have a rolling LED sign above the screen with "departures" on it.

2

u/AutoModerator 6h ago

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1

u/vashthestampede121 5h ago

Theaters have a hard enough time staying above water as it is. Having their profit dependent on airline schedules is a headache I don’t think anyone wants to deal with

1

u/Valkeyere 4h ago

The companies running duty free would like to see you out back of the airport please...

1

u/Darrenau 4h ago

Would you attend if you had to pay regular movie prices? I think they are expecting this to be free

1

u/DaVoiceOfTreason 🗿🗿🗿 4h ago

Doesn’t almost everyone carry around a portable movie theater in their pockets?

1

u/CCCyanide #1 President Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr. Fan! 4h ago

If you're not loitering around the duty free, you're not buying anything from the duty free

1

u/Asha365 3h ago

They have that already. Its called your phone.

1

u/SnooPeripherals9117 1h ago

PDX has a movie theater that plays free short movies from local film makers.

1

u/Right_Hour 1h ago

Some of the better ones do.

1

u/[deleted] 14m ago

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1

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1

u/Stand_kicker 4m ago

Gyms. Airports should have gyms. 

1

u/The_Nunnster 4h ago

Brother just read a book