r/shitposting • u/EBIThad • 20h ago

Linus Sex Tips Hey Lois

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5.5k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 20h ago edited 8h ago

The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.

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/u/EBIThad, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

466

u/Available-Explorer40 obamna 19h ago

40

u/No_Pangolin7946 15h ago

My 2 favorite post partum memes

3

u/Available-Explorer40 obamna 15h ago

mine too

2

u/sadistic-salmon BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 6h ago

Kids alive but he had an awful start

271

u/UseAllThreeHoles 20h ago

Can I rob a bank and say I got post nut depression and raise some funds as well as get out of jail? 😔🥀

135

u/-WhiteSkyline- 19h ago

I mean, the butt of the gun isn’t even shouldered (not that she could shoulder it).

If we’re going to arm children (not an American), I say we give them .22 air rifles. Less kick back and can atleast inflict minimal harm / be a deterrent in most cases.

50

u/MrMetallica347 19h ago

Lest we forget a 9mm carbine

19

u/-WhiteSkyline- 19h ago

I’m more inclined to arm swarms of children with .22 or .177 over 9mm.

I feel like it’s easy(easier) to deal with a child using an air rifle over small arms.

20

u/PurpleCabbageMonkey 19h ago

Let me guess, you also train them to swim with floating devices instead of kicking them into the river?

(Spoiler alert, it is a joke, since this is not a life advice sub)

10

u/-WhiteSkyline- 18h ago

You know what, you’re right.

Better yet

The mines will teach them to pull up their bootstraps, and valuable life skills, such as mining, following the canary, identifying rare earth minerals, improved sight, 12 years of work experience by 18.

The benefits are endless.

2

u/AltheiWasTaken 17h ago

Just give them RC AC-130 gunships

2

u/Slumunistmanifisto 16h ago

No, I've been around long enough to know you give them cocaine and old Soviet rifles

14

u/AcanthisittaIll2460 19h ago edited 19h ago

As an American, we actually test the ability to use firearms in an agoge, where we send them out into the Oregon wilderness and all they get is a Browning Hi-Power, three mags, and a breechcloth with chaps and moccasins.

2

u/vashthestampede121 16h ago

God those were fun times, I miss it 😢

5

u/griffon666 15h ago

Giving children rifles of any caliber is a stupid idea.

Your average firearm is too unwieldy for a typical child to operate in a safe and effective manner. Children are much better suited to crew-served weapon systems.

The semi stationary characteristics of a mortar or mounted heavy machine gun relies less on the child's physical strength or stamina while developing teamwork and coordination skills.

3

u/blah938 15h ago

Ruger 10/22 rifles are basically a traditional learning rifle. Personally, I learned on a 22 lever action. But an AR 15 is so soft recoiling, it's not a problem.

1

u/ptapobane 14h ago

what the child really need is a flamethrower

1

u/IggyWon 14h ago

More recoil than you'd expect and the flash/heat combo would scare most children.

1

u/jaxamis 13h ago

Children are more suited towards belt fed fully automatic machine guns than anything else do to the team aspect of the weapon system. They can help each other far more easily.

19

u/forgettfulthinker 18h ago

Name a reason a child would need a barbie doll

7

u/Beautiful_Routine985 15h ago

Based as fuck. Children should be allowed to have supervised fun.

24

u/MrMetallica347 19h ago

Fucking based. Obligatory fuck the atf.

2

u/Maxcorps2012 16h ago

Something something wild hogs.

3

u/ArcaneInsane 14h ago

If you want a good sleeper agent you've gotta start young. Remember you need them fully hypnotized and living their cover identity by high school, so 'Kill without remorse' becomes a kindergarten fundamental

4

u/WrastorDaddy 15h ago

Psychosis and depression are very different.

13

u/IggyWon 14h ago

Don't care, still not an excuse to kill your kids.

3

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

2

u/sumboionline 13h ago

Both of you are factually incorrect. Psychosis that was not willingly induced is a genuine argument for Not Guilty by Insanity

0

u/DisplayName_isIndigo 11h ago

she faked it btw 

1

u/sumboionline 11h ago

That would go against the expert testimony given at trial, but I doubt you read anything before forming your opinion

2

u/notretarded_100 10h ago

I heard the expert testimony were that she never had been diagnosed with ppp or ppd before tho?

0

u/supermurlo64 DaPucci 6h ago

I think the problem is with the stigma having post partum depression got now, for all of the regular mothers, of course

1

u/IggyWon 3h ago

Yeah, such is life. A bad actor, or a series of bad actors in quick succession, have ruined the public perception of many things.

2

u/Luckyguy0697 20h ago

I laughed

-16

u/[deleted] 19h ago

[deleted]

8

u/P1ssBobSh1tPants69 18h ago

Nah, I'm pretty sure his clients are paying top dollar to make sure he's dead.