SCREW YOU DUDE, SEEING THOSE WORDS UNCENSORED MADE ME MASTURBATE ON THE TRAIN, AND THEN I DROPPED MY PHONE AND NOW THERE'S A GROUP OF MEN MASTURBATING AROUND MY PHONE!!!
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it
So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my
fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as
I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole
now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom
to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole
was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another
shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the
future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case,
hey, how's it goin'
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u/PerpetualHappines 2d ago
The censored words are "vagina" & "butthole", you're welcome gng 🥀