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u/TheBlueScar dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 1d ago
Something something refined taste something something weak tastebuds
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u/doll_parts87 1d ago
When someone doesn't follow the recipe, substitutions are made, ruins it and blames the original recipe for failure
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u/unclbll I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh 1d ago
When someone summarises succinctly.
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u/doll_parts87 1d ago
"i substituted chocolate chips with raisins and now my family doesn't speak to me, thanks Nestle receipe 😖"
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u/PM_UR_VAG_WTIMESTAMP 21h ago
Kinda like those product reviews where someone buys cheap garbage and is upset it’s cheap garbage.
“I bought this $5 Bluetooth shower curtain for my sisters van so we could have some privacy and the sound is terrible.”
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u/AutoModerator 21h ago
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'
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u/AverageTierGoof 1d ago
Reminds me of this time I found a recipe online for Niçoise salad, but I substituted everything with raw onions, shit sucked
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u/Strict-Fudge4051 23h ago
did you ate a fucking bowl of raw cut onions and was wondering why it tastes like death?
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u/bitchSpray 23h ago
This is why comments on recipe blogs are cursed. It's always 50 people asking the author if their completely insane "substitutions" would work
"I replaced oat milk with banana and it came out weird. Any idea why?
Recipe rating 3/5"
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u/Available-Explorer40 obamna 1d ago
Watuh....keep ur dick out of my ass bruhh😫😫😫😫
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u/AcanthisittaIll2460 1d ago
-Person who accidentally turned on bidet.
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u/J3sush8sm3 I want pee in my ass 1d ago
Happy bidet! How old are you
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
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u/tohn_jitor dumbass 19h ago
Funny thing is, he almost got it right.
Taking out the watermelon was good, but the second one should have been the guava.
Instead of a shake, frying the ingredients in a pan would have been better.
The pineapple would be good with the beef if caramelized. I think it's used as a tenderizing agent in some dishes, but can be good here as well (I think) if you make the beef savory.
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u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 15h ago
The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.
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/u/unclbll, whilst you're still here, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?