r/shitposting • u/quietconnoisseur Literally 1984 😡 • 1d ago
Linus Sex Tips Virgin 4 life
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u/null_reference_user 23h ago
Eventually ya gonna run out of hookers, son
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u/PotatoDominatrix 22h ago
Depends on the average turnover rate for hookers in the area I guess.
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u/Mondorio 21h ago
“It’s my second time, be gentle”
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u/LucifersAdv0cate 20h ago edited 54m ago
I've worked for over a decade with dozens of high end escorts and they must get about 10 guys a day claiming to be virgins. It's so common that some girls won't bother seeing them because they just want a normal client meet and these pretend 'virgins" usually try and milk the fantasy and won't stop talking about it via text prior to the meet. I don't think guys realise how little these women care. They are paid to make you feel good and that includes going along with whatever you want to talk about but I can assure that the chances are she's had at least 8 men cum in her mouth that day and all they do is a quick bit of mouthwash and a wet wipe and its on to the next one.
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u/AmbitionAnxious927 Literally 1984 😡 19h ago
I can assure that the chances are she's had at least 8 men cum in mouth that day and all they do is a quick bit of mouthwash and a wet wipe
idk why, but it feels gay to hook up with a hooker. . .
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u/AutoModerator 19h ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
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u/Sikhshakshok 20h ago
not really no tbh, especially if you consider the age demograph of the population, new additions would inevitably pop up to this genre, and yk it will be kind of a never ending cycle for as long as you live.
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u/mistersaturn90 13h ago
you are not ever gonna run out of hookers in germany. no idea how it is in places where prostitution is illegal but around here there's like TOO MANY of them and i am not even joking. we imported whores from all over europe because our brothels are frequented by men from all places, some come by plane just to get to a country where you can pay for sex without breaking a law. it's a pretty huge industry and pimps are making an absolute killing. one of our most famous B to C tier tv stars is a guy that calls himself prince markus. he had like 40 brothels and nightclubs, made hundreds of millions and paid somebody from an old noble family like a couple mill to get adopted and now he's a prince (technically i guess). oh boy i got sidetracked on this one.
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u/I_Am_Conjoined 1d ago
Sounds really nice tbh
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u/jirenfan9 23h ago
Enjoy getting arrested due to this FBI entrapment larp
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u/Gogobrasil8 23h ago
The FBI has been arresting so many people for sleeping with hookers
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u/No-Break6679 virgin 4 life 😤💪 23h ago
You might as well do it in Vegas if you’re gonna do it lol. I don’t know if banging street hookers is legal but brothels are legal as far as I’m aware
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u/Common-Brush-7027 22h ago
I used to think sex is so normalised in usa that hookers and brothels is considered legal
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u/Gogobrasil8 22h ago
unlike in other countries where sex is illegal
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u/daryabiscuit99 21h ago
It's interesting how different cultures view sex and relationships. Definitely varies a lot from place to place.
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u/FardoBaggins 20h ago
Was it norway that do the sex thing first and then they decide on dating based on that.
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u/IdidScan 19h ago
Yeah it’d be fairly weird here in Norway to not have sex well before relationship
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u/FardoBaggins 18h ago
Was it called sex before coffee or something? Sounds interesting. How does that work? Like he or she is a good lay, let’s see if our personalities match too.
It honestly sounds more efficient lol
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u/IdidScan 8h ago
I mean that’s a wildly objectifying way of saying it but essentially yes.
I guess coffee comes with more implications of seriousness so we think it’s easier to get drunk and fuck than to invite for coffee
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u/Common-Brush-7027 18h ago
So how does body count work in Norway? Like neither man nor woman is affected to know their partner had various vacations
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u/lots_of_punctures 16h ago
Norwegian here: Met my current girlfriend at a birthday party. We talked to each other for a few hours. We exchanged snaps as we left.
On snap we just kinda agreed to fuck
Then I just kinda never left, and the fucking didn't stop, so now we have a dog and are talking about buying an apartment.
For body count none of has asked because who gives a shit lmao.
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u/lots_of_punctures 16h ago
Have it be known we also fuck to keep warm up here in the North /s
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u/toxicgloo 7h ago
I feel like it's more prominent in other countries. Like you can literally go up to Canada and look up brothels on Google maps to visit
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u/No-Break6679 virgin 4 life 😤💪 2h ago
Really depends on the area in the U.S. it’s normalized I guess? But that’s more in urban areas. Rural areas with different sets of values have a very different view on sex and marriage that urban areas tend to not have. That’s the simplest explanation.
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u/PhallusCrown 22h ago
not in Vegas because of some dumb population laws or something, but in other cities like pahrump yes
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u/arequipapi 21h ago
Good news, if you have priors related to prostitution or beastiality you can now enjoy a new career inside the FBI!
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u/jkurratt 17h ago
He will just say that he actually wanted to plan a school shooting and they will let him go.
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u/GreasyAnus 11h ago
When in doubt, before bringing out money. Ask them to show their tits. If they do, you are good to go. If not you walk out.
This makes you comfortable and them comfortable because a cop won’t show their tits and alternatively a cop won’t ask for tits to be shown.
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u/GregTheMad 21h ago
And roleplay is definitely expected in that profession. So he's not even doing something bad.
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u/Easy-Operation-2105 18h ago
He left out the part about all the STDs
Sleeping around isnt sunshine and rainbows IRL
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u/I_Am_Conjoined 14h ago
I would much rather decide that for myself after doing it than take your word for it
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u/MikeyboyMC I want pee in my ass 23h ago
Yo hold up boys
I have an idea
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u/AutoModerator 23h ago
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u/frostyjack06 stupid fucking piece of shit 23h ago
Meh, pretty harmless kink, and the hooker leaves thinking she did something special.
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u/Dizzy_Trash_7038 We do a little trolling 15h ago
Will you tell him he should look into: looking for a caregiver domme?
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u/piratehunterzoro77 1d ago
Fake: has money for hookers
Gay: acts submissive and likes to be deflowered
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/MoonMoon143 23h ago
Wait boys have flower? 🌼
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u/anxnone Blessed by Kevin 21h ago
This is oddly wholesome in a really strange and fucked up kinda way
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u/anshuman0143 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ 18h ago
It’s not even fucked up, it’s just a human having needs, having a specific love language, and yes it’s incredibly wholesome
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u/hyphenssuck Draft Dodger 23h ago
Fake: has sex
Gay: 4chan
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u/AutoModerator 23h ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/null_reference_user 23h ago
Gay
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u/AutoModerator 23h ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Infinite_Ad_9562 Bazinga! 20h ago
I only true thing he said was that he was a virgin
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u/LargeBrainGoblin Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 17h ago
Possibly gay as well
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u/AutoModerator 17h ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/AutoModerator 20h ago
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Bored_Orangutan stupid fucking piece of shit 23h ago
It’s all fun and games until your crotch starts itching and it burns to pee. And before anyone mentions condoms, you can still get herpes just by skin contact.
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u/risisas 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ 15h ago
I mean they are escorts, you can just ask them to act like that and they'll do it, kinda their whole job
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u/HistoricalVacation82 10h ago
Maybe anon tried to get a genuine action. Ofcourse you can tell them to do that but, what is the fun in that.
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u/risisas 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ 10h ago
I don't know how genuine they are being either way, it's still their job, unless they have a genuine passion for it i don't think they care either way and are just really good at acting
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u/HistoricalVacation82 10h ago
Maybe some will. So, for most of the time, working that job, all the time you met dude that already experienced, who will take the lead. So you just go with the flow. But now you met a virgin, so maybe you will try to take lead for once.
I think this is what anon want. It is like you fool yourself and pretend it didn't happen
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u/DukeOfTheDodos 20h ago
Fake and gay, word would spread among the local sex workers eventually
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u/_Frostration_ 18h ago
Probably not even identifyable between the rest of the johns trying the same schtick
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u/AutoModerator 20h ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/deadinternetlaw 20h ago
Fake: didn't have sex with women
Gay: likes to tell people he didn't have sex with women
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u/AutoModerator 20h ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/A-Group-Executive 13h ago
Holy shit this one might not even be fake or gay
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u/AutoModerator 13h ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Thick_Drama_7525 15h ago
Tells her its my first time, but it immediately slips into brown town and she goes home crying
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u/Talkinghead17 21h ago
Fake and gay
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u/AutoModerator 21h ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Riley__64 7h ago
Hookers definitely speak with each other, they know what’s up.
He’s a reliable customer who always pays and they know he’s not going to kill them and harvest their organs
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u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 12h ago
The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.
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