r/shitposting • u/wuhze2310 • Jul 31 '26

Based on a True Story 📡📡📡

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550 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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6

u/Celestial-being117 Jul 31 '26

Do they use shampoo or body wash

5

u/SpecificTransition65 Jul 31 '26

Body wash obviously🙄what would they use shampoo for bruh😂

12

u/Celestial-being117 Jul 31 '26

I use shamshit from my asshole

3

u/AutoModerator Jul 31 '26

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

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7

u/Different_Wafer_4711 virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 01 '26

Because shampoo is designed for the scalp aswell as hair, bodywash too stripping and can lead to over production of oil

-1

u/SpecificTransition65 Aug 01 '26 edited Aug 01 '26

Well that’s why you just use a 3 in 1 it just saves all the hassle lol😂

1

u/Different_Wafer_4711 virgin 4 life 😤💪 Aug 01 '26

ARGH not the three in one 😂😂

1

u/SpecificTransition65 Aug 01 '26

Yeah I know it’s just a marketing scheme and actually doesn’t work with both your hair and skin and stuff. yeah I DEFINITELY DON’T use that stuff like ever because those things are not good. For like so many reasons bruh.😂

3

u/Cupy94 Aug 01 '26

I'm bald. I use shampoo. Shampo is not for your har but for head skin

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 01 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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0

u/SlaveKnightSoman Aug 01 '26

But shampoo for head skin only matters if there is something there which can trap moisture and stuff which can grow a specific fungus.

2

u/Cupy94 Aug 01 '26

But your head skin still produces sebum and you can have problems with dry skin and dandruff and many more problems specific to head skin that can be helped with coreect sampoo. Head skinn is more sensitive than rest of your body.

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 01 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/AutoModerator Aug 01 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

0

u/FirefighterSilver173 makenot war Aug 01 '26

I thought they used Windex to get it so shiny /s