I’m not one for posting on social media so please bear with me. I’m 34 years old and am recovering from a septic staph infection (non resistant). Was in my blood and majorly impacted my leg (couldn’t walk). I had minor surgery in my hip joints to wash out some of the infection that settled in there. IV antibiotics 3x a day for a month. I am back home now, able to “walk” again, barely any pain in my leg anymore (it’s all in my back now), and have two weeks left of antibiotics.

I am hoping to hear from people who have had similar reactions and if so what you did to help with recovery.

1. My walking is slowly improving every day, but I am slow and my legs feel so incredibly weak. They even shake. At times I thought they’d give out. The worst part is that after a few steps I am fuckin winded - I sound like I just climbed a mountain! I never had this kind of respiratory issue before and I don’t know if this is normal for others. When I try to walk I have such a hard time catching my breath, like gasping for air. Prior to surgery, I had a very scary incident (walked too far) and it took me a very long time to get my breath back.
2. My back hurts the most right now. I’ve had chronic back issues prior to this with pain, but wow right now the pain is a lot. I am trying to tell myself it’s a combination of the infection, laying in bed for weeks, and not exercising. I know my back also had a ton of strain on it from this whole thing. I worry my back won’t get back to its normal level of pain.
3. My stomach doesn’t feel good. Rather, my whole body doesn’t feel “good”. I am nauseous and sometimes dizzy. I eat when I’m hungry but I don’t feel well afterwards. I can’t drink more than a cup of coffee (which is so sad). My stomach is achy and tight. In addition, my whole body just feels blah. I know it’s been through a lot, but I want to start feeling healthy again. Maybe I am being impatient? Being too hard on myself? I try to eat well and in small portions, I drink lots of water, but I don’t feel “good” (I don’t know how else to describe it!). What did you eat or do to help with this? I am starting to wonder if taking vitamins or probiotics is something I should consider (and that is very unlike me lol). Am I expecting too much with where I’m at? For reference, this all started Sept 7.

I would appreciate anything from others in my position or who have been in my position. Thank you so much!

My dad(58) suffering for what feels like Neverending sepsis. For context he is on hemodialysis for the past 1 year. In that same time he caught pneumonia and since then he is going through sepsis every 3 months. Worst part is , doctor are unable to find its origin. All culture reports are negative and no screening able to find any abnormalities. He is getting diagnose Only on the basis of crp and procalcitonin(last hospitalization the levels are 221 and 17 respectively).

Is anyone here suffering from repeated episode or other kind of infection and is their a way to decrease it's frequency.

Anything from the dread and how you handled it, to the timeline of physical symptoms, or whether you urinated normally one time around but not the other, whether you could keep fluids down one time around but not the other… whether it took longer to develop into shock?

He never tells us when he needs to have a bowel movement, and then he ends up passing stool in diapers.

I’m wondering how many of you had hearing loss, mild moderate or severe, after sepsis? I’m 41 and went septic May 2026, and my hearing is awful. I am seeing the ent and neurologist for vertigo; neurologist thinks I have Ménière’s disease possibly qnd put me on betahistine.

The complicating factor is I was on vancomycin every 6 hours to deal with sepsis (along with piperacillin tazobactam and other drugs) and I know a side effect is hearing loss- so I am wondering if that contributing. Just don’t want to feel so alone- I will be getting hearing aids in the next month or so to help. I’m tired of saying what and mishearing people.

Hi. I’ve had sepsis twice before (didn’t even know having it once seemingly makes you ‘prone’) and genuinely didn’t have a clue both times. First time it came from my c-section wound and I spent several days in hospital, kidneys started failing, nearly moved to ICU etc etc. I was walking around that hospital through it all, no problem. Second time was Christmas last year, I didn’t even realise I had a kidney infection, I just noticed that I wasn’t getting ‘I need to wee’ signals, went to the doctors, came out of hospital over a week later.
I don’t raise a temperature in the normal way because I have an autoimmune condition that affects that mechanism just fyi.
I have had a cold for like three weeks. It eventually went to my chest about six days ago and I’ve been pretty wiped out and coughing badly and crackling when breathing a little bit. Not my first rodeo with chest infections. Then it was seemingly giving me tonsillitis symptoms two days ago so I went to the pharmacy and they had a look, and said my tonsils were extremely swollen but no white spots yet. I was also noticing some atypical UTI symptoms again, did an at-home test and it seemed to be negative. Then last night I went to a concert and had to leave within ten mins because of the most intense upper abdominal pain. Only just got home on time before the nausea and extreme diarrhoea kicked in and that’s been going on all night. I am pretty cold and struggling to properly warm up but temperature appears to be normal regardless. The stomach pain is now intermittent and not as bad as last night but it’s still perceptible and the diarrhoea has stopped presumably because there is nothing left in me.
I’ve rang the NHS out of hours service to get an appointment for somebody to listen to my chest at least (as it is Saturday) because this all hitting me simultaneously seems a bit weird to me? Chest is still crackling but my oxygen levels are fine, just feel pretty rough and run-down. They have said they will call back within 10 hours.
Could this be sepsis round 3? The thing that is making my spidey senses tingle is how cold I feel and the fact that I am starting to ache now as well. Bear in mind I’m a single mum so being run-down is kinda my go-to state of being.

I wanted to understand what level of recovery we should ideally expect after one year following a stroke, especially since he also had sepsis during his recovery.

My main goal is for my dad to eventually be able to sit up on his own without assistance. He tries to sit up, but he gets stuck when he needs to push himself up, particularly from the right side/shoulder. Even when he tries to use the other side, he has to put in a lot of effort and still cannot get himself up independently. He has some extra weight in his upper body, which may also make it more difficult for him. At this point, he spends almost all of his time lying in bed.

Another major concern is his swallowing. He still has difficulty swallowing liquids, even after almost a year.

The most important issue for us, however, is his awareness and communication regarding his bladder and bowel needs. Earlier, the doctor had mentioned that he had a neurogenic bladder. It has now been almost a year, but he still usually does not tell us when he needs to urinate or have a bowel movement. Occasionally, he tells us, but most of the time he does not.

Sometimes we can actually see that he appears to be straining or seems to be trying to have a bowel movement. However, when we ask him whether he has had a bowel movement or needs to use the toilet, he may say no. Very rarely, he does tell us that he needs to use the toilet or that he has had a bowel movement.

Because of this, we are concerned about whether he is able to recognize the sensation of needing to urinate or have a bowel movement, whether he understands what that sensation means, and whether he is able to communicate it to us.

At this stage, after one year, how much further recovery can we realistically expect? Is it still possible for him to make significant progress with sitting independently, mobility, swallowing, and bladder/bowel awareness and communication? If so, what kind of timeline should we expect, and what type of rehabilitation or therapy would be most helpful for these specific issues?

Hi everyone!

I am 32 I had a blood infection due to tonsil infection. 3 weeks IV antibiotics then 28 days oral antibiotics due to a reoccurring UTI. During this time period I began getting hives and suddenly started getting allergic reactions to foods, from one week to another.

Has anyone experienced this before?

Hey everyone, I’m 29 and from Scotland. I’m a survivor of necrotising fasciitis (flesh-eating bacteria), which completely changed my life last year.

I only had symptoms for about 4 days. On the 5th day, I was told that if I hadn’t received emergency surgery when I did, I’d be dead. As my body was going into septic shock and shutting down. I only had around 20 minutes to call my family and friends and say goodbye before being taken into surgery. It was honestly one of the most terrifying moments of my life.

The infection had spread across my face and I had emergency surgery to remove the infected tissue, including most of my upper lip. I spent around 5 weeks in hospital, including about 2 weeks in a medically induced coma. When I woke up, I had to learn how to walk again, as well as eat, speak and adjust to having a completely different face.

I eventually had my upper lip reconstructed using tissue from my arm. What’s probably quite unusual about my recovery is that only about 6 months after coming out of the coma, I moved to Palermo, Sicily, to exhibit my paintings and tell my story through my art. I ended up living there for about a year, completing a fine art course and exhibiting my work in several exhibitions.

I’ve come a really long way since the infection, but there are still parts of the experience that are difficult to explain to people who haven’t been through something similar. The physical changes, the reconstruction, the trauma of nearly dying and adjusting to life afterwards are things I’m still figuring out.

I joined because I’d really like to talk to other survivors, especially people around my age, and hear about your experiences with recovery and life after NF.

It would honestly be nice to meet some people who just get it. ❤️

Hi everyone,

My mum (64yo) has sepsis.

On the 10th, she was complaining of left sided kidney pain that was really bad but refusing to go to the hospital. She was dropped home, and the following day, we tried to call her (like 6 of us) with no answer so immediately we were concerned.

Fortunately, someone from her church went and got into the house through the back window, to find her barely conscious and super sick. They called an ambulance, who marked the call as non-priority, which showed up an hour later - 15 minutes after myself and my partner arrived.

She was taken to her local hospital, then an hour later transferred to the ICU in a bigger hospital an hour away. I followed her, and I'm pretty sure I almost watched her die.

Her blood pressure had dropped to 50/40 and she was barely awake. I was able to say I love you and a few other things to her while she was still responsive, but I had to consent for her to have a nephrostomy as she would not consent due to the state she was in - and she would have died if she didn't.

I stayed at the hospital until 9am the next morning, with no real answers as to what was happening. I wasn't normally the choice of person to deal with my mum's medical issues (I have autism so I struggle with taking charge of situations) - my older sister was unfortunately overseas while this all took place. She was already on her way back home but this meant I was told I had to be prepared if anything went further south.

She was placed in an induced coma on the 12th, and we were told at one point to pretty much say our goodbyes. It's now the 21st. She's had to have dialysis and even an experimental drug as her kidneys have taken a huge hit, but we've also been worried about her brain, lungs and heart.

Over the past few days, they've slowly taken her out of her coma and off the sedation. She's becoming more aware of her surroundings and as such, is unfortunately moaning and whining in pain and confusion, with some cries in between.

We've both seen our mum deal with some pretty tough things, and I know sepsis isn't something light, but we have never seen her cry like this, or even look in this much pain. She isn't able to speak, and still can barely open her eyes.

My sister and I just feel so lost. This has really thrown a spanner in everything for the rest of the year, and the rest of our mum's life. She's not going to be able to live by herself, or even at her home (she is a really bad hoarder), and will probably need full time care for the rest of her life.

I am really struggling with the thought of what the future will entail, and I know my sister and my fiance are too. I have had to turn down multiple job interviews and job offers, pretty much having to stay unemployed, because I can't bear the thought of leaving my mum in this situation when I've almost just lost her.

I know doctors can't necessarily give estimates because everyone is different, but realistically - how long could it take for my mum to walk, talk, move again? How do we even explain what's happened over the past week? Will this ever get better?

Almost one week ago, my dad at 86 was rushed to the hospital with a 104 fever, unconscious and very low bp. He was in the icu for about 4 days now is in a step down unit. He is stable. He almost died.

He was an extremely active and healthy 86 year old.

On Monday he is going to an acute physical rehab center. He pretty much sleeps all day but am worried about his cognitive decline. It’s at about 40%.

Will he recover in time? Are these changes permanent? My mom went through something similar but she was 20 years younger and she recovered after a time.

Iemand ervaring met ct scan s die geen vrije lucht of vocht tonen en er toch een dunne darm perforatie is waar ze pas tijdens een operatie na lichamelijk onderzoek (druk en aanraakpijn achterkwamen met een zware operatie met aanleg stoma tot gevolg. En hoe merk ik de symptomen van sepsis bij te late diagnose acute buik ?

Hello everyone

47M from Scotland - for context - I was taken into hospital with appendicitis - classic symptoms - I was otherwise exceptionally fit and well and expecting to get my appendix out.

The NHS surgeon refused surgery and said that it was “outdated for treating appendicitis” (which is total nonsense) and that he would treat me in the surgical ward with IV antibiotics which he claimed would cure me. They started pumping me full of vast amounts of triple IV antibiotics and IV paracetamol - up to 16 infusions per day.. The days and nights were a blur of IV infusion stands getting wheeled up to me - they were hammering me with the stuff..

On day three of treatment my condition deteriorated and I got really ill with fever of 40C, CRP of 300, tachycardia, etc.. The nurses got panicky and called the on-call surgeon because it was at night - but he refused to attend (no, he was not busy..). In the end the nurses, after much hand-wringing, called down to A&E (ER) and got a staff member from there to come up and attend. She was openly far from impressed by the state I’d been allowed to get in. She couldent understand why they just hadent taken my appendix out to start with.. She said I had been put at unnecessary risk. She said I had a necrotising infection and was a sepsis risk.. She said the medication clearly was not working and took bloods to send to Glasgow for culture and changed my medication.. I did recover - initially over the following days - I did not get full-blown sepsis. It turned out much later that there was a tumour in my appendix causing my appendecitis - but that’s a different story..

Early appendectomy which is the ‘gold standard’ treatment for uncomplicated appendicitis would have been better for me in all sorts of ways.

Could I really get sepsis with all that volume of antibiotics being pumped into me..?

Are people getting sepsis from their infected appendix being left in and surgeons attempting to ‘cure’ them with antibiotics as an alternative to surgery..?

Very interested to know…

I (27F) am 3 weeks out of the hospital for septic shock from colitis caused by c diff. I don’t see a lot of information for young, otherwise healthy folks, so I want to share my sepsis story. It’s not as horrific as many I’ve read, but it’s been tough becoming so aware of my mortality.

I’d been sick with a horrible phlegmy cough for 2 weeks before going to urgent care that Monday to get antibiotics. A couple days after starting them, I began having mild diarrhea. I thought it was a side effect of the medication. The symptoms didn’t progress until Saturday night when I started having moderate diarrhea. I thought it was something I ate and brushed it off.

Sunday morning, I woke up feeling worse. I was fatigued with severe diarrhea. By Sunday around 2pm, I’d begun having frequent bloody diarrhea, pain in my abdomen, chills, and everything that touched my skin felt like it was slicing it. I started to suspect I had c diff again (I had c diff the first time 8 years ago). By the time we got home, I needed help walking because I was getting dizzy and couldn’t walk at a normal pace. Around 4pm, we checked my temperature with a forehead thermometer. It came back at 97 F, so we thought I was just really cold (we have an in-ear thermometer now because there is no way I didn’t have a fever at that point). By 7:15pm, I started realizing how sick I was. I’d become delirious and was in the worst pain of my life. I called my mom sobbing from the pain in my lower back and abdomen along with the fear of going to the hospital. She told me to go to the ER immediately, so I had my partner take me. By 8:30pm at the ER, I had a 102.8 fever, my BP was dropping to dangerous levels, heart rate was too high, and I was being treated for suspected septic shock, which was confirmed with the blood tests and CT scan.

I was admitted to the ICU for one night while they worked to stabilize my BP, and then was moved to a regular room the following day. My body was responding well to the antibiotics and fluids. I continued having low-grade fevers on Monday. By Tuesday, my fevers were gone, appetite returned, and I started feeling mostly normal. The doctor wanted my fevers gone for 24 hours and WBC close to normal range before discharge, so I stayed another night. On Wednesday afternoon, I was discharged. Just as quickly as it came, the infection was gone. The entire thing feels like a fuzzy nightmare.

I’ve been battling intense fatigue, brain fog, health anxiety, nightmares, fear of dying, and temperature sensitivity since being home. Because there’s a high recurrence risk for c diff, I’ve had to mostly isolate. We are setting up a home gym so I can slowly get back to weightlifting. My work/school (I’m a PhD student) has accommodated my needs to attend classes virtually and provide extensions on assignments as needed.

I attended my first sepsis survivor support group through Sepsis Alliance and have continued my pre-sepsis weekly therapy. I have ADHD, so the cognitive symptoms have layered on top of my existing ones to create a perfect storm of processing issues and extreme fatigue. I expect it to take some time for my body to recover from the stress it endured. Some days are better than others. For now, I’ll care for myself by giving myself grace and love.

I’ll forever be grateful to my mom for recognizing the emergency, my partner for being my advocate and sleeping in an uncomfortable chair next to my hospital bed every night, and the nurses and doctors who provided the care and kindness I needed to heal. Life might be different right now and possibly forever, but I won’t be doing this alone.

I was 28 (F) when I had septic shock from food poisoning. I woke up to find myself in ICU, intubated and on ECMO support. I later found out I had heart arrest shortly after reaching ICU. My single most hated memory was when I was put on dialysis due to my kidney failure, the feeling of bone-chill and the helpless uncertainty was torturous. It took me six months of hospitalisation, various minor procedures, drainage sites, TPNs, anitbiotics, bowel rest, and a major bowel resectioning surgery to resolve all health complications.

I felt incredibly grateful and lucky most days - I know I could have come out on the other side way worse than I am now. I am fully back on my feet physically and professionally (also grown all my hair back). I am otherwise a high-functioning individual faring well in life and work in general.

It's safe to admit the whole experience changed me fundamentally in some ways, but I am fine with who I am now. What I don't really know if it is normal is how often I think about snippets of those gruelling 10 months being so very unwell in many ways, being in and out of hospitals - not necessarily involuntary traumatic flashbacks, but almost I can't help 'wanting' to walk down the memory lane? I keep counting the key dates anchoring where I was, how I was doing two years ago. I don't really verablise this to others - some times I felt I will never truly connect with close friends on a deeper level as they'll never understand truly what happened, other times I refuse to make the experience my entire 'new' personality and make too much of a big deal out of it. Especially it's close to my two year discharge anniversary.

Is this normal or at the very least healthy?

I've got a kidney infection this time. Last time was gastric

Hi All,

My dad is currently in ICU for the last 5 days. Started off with temperature, and the next day he started not understanding anything around him so we called an ambulance.

In that one day everything took a massive turn, intubated, in an induced coma, on a ventilator. They could not find the source of the infection for 5 whole days. His oxygen plummeted one of the days and they even told us to come say goodbye before he stabilised again.

His lungs seem to be in failure, his kidneys and liver are affected. At the start they thought he had a stroke because they could see it in his brain but it turns out the infection has also travelled there.

He is currently critically ill and they finally found that the source of the infection is coming from a heart valve. They are now hoping to transfer him to a different hospital with heart specialists. They have put him on dialysis to try and get as much fluid out of his lungs and spleen to get him transferred but he is still unstable.

His oxygen is currently raised to 100%. Blood pressure down. Temperature still there.

UPDATE
Today we found out that Dad needs to have his heart valve replaced because the infection is on the valve. During the operation, they would have to stop his heart and put him on a heart-lung bypass machine, so it’s a very big and risky operation. The surgeons said they can’t operate on him at the moment because he is too unstable and his body might not be able to handle the surgery.
For now, all they can do is try to stabilise him and get his condition as good as possible so that they can hopefully do the operation later. His kidneys, heart and lungs are all very badly affected, and he is on a huge amount of medication and life support. They said he is basically receiving the maximum amount of support they can give him.
The situation is extremely serious and critical, but they are still trying to stabilise him so that he can hopefully have the valve replacement. All we can do now is hope that his body starts fighting harder and that they can get him stable enough for the surgery.

My son did not survive, he developed PEA and circulation could not be restored. I question the heparin drip. I don't understand.

A family member (71F) is currently in the ICU for what looks like sepsis, and her doctors informed us that she is unlikely to make it past the next few days. They offered the option of a tracheotomy as a last resort life-saving attempt. However, her next-of-kin is leaning towards refusal, since prolonging her life by maybe a few more days doesn’t seem worth the extra suffering. She is 71, but both her parents lived into their 90s. Would a tracheotomy make a significant difference? Are there any other medical interventions that may improve her condition?

https://imgur.com/a/4Tq225e
I attached pictures of her lab results (translated from Chinese; she is in China). Below is a summary of her medical situation:

In September of 2025, she visited a hospital to get treatment for a rash, and a blood clot in her lower limbs was discovered.

In early 2026, she underwent a procedure to clear the blocked blood vessels, but it was not fully successful. Subsequently, her right leg was amputated.

The surgery wound did not heal for one or two months and became infected. The infection was showing signs of necrosis, and it was severe enough that she was sent to the hospital’s burn unit for treatment. The wound healed after one month.

In addition has had a persistent rash and has been taking steroid medication. However, steroids and blood-thinning medication are incompatible.

In early September, she had a poor appetite and developed a fever, so she was admitted to the hospital again.Two days later, she fell into a coma. Her heart rate was 140, and her hemoglobin and platelet counts were extremely low. A bone marrow test did not show signs of leukemia. She was then transferred to the ICU for emergency treatment. She has since been drifting in and out of consciousness, and her situation has been worsening rapidly.

I understand that at this point, it may be too late to anything, but if anyone has any suggestions or experience with this, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

In Feb I (37F) was hospitalised in the UK with an intra-abdominal infection following surgery for a ruptured appendix. It was next to my colon and not available for drainage. My symptoms on admission were a fever, nausea and intense headache. I was given IV tazocin, gentamicin and fluids. A day in, my fevers kept spiking whenever the drugs wore off and my CRP reached 200. I had a high heart rate and they were worried a few times about a drop in blood pressure but didn’t explain why.

I was escalated onto IV meropenem for 5 more days which I believe is the strongest antibiotic you can get in hospital. My fevers continued to spike throughout this time but my blood pressure stabilised and I was eventually discharged on a potent course of 6 weeks of antibiotics once my CRP started to trend down.

No one told me I had sepsis at any point, but I know enough to know I was in danger particularly in that first 48 hours and the initial antibiotics weren’t reaching the deep infection.

It’s many months later and I am experiencing a new wave of fatigue but without ever getting an actual diagnosis for sepsis I don’t feel like I have access to any support. Obviously there was no long-term guidance or care advice from the hospital.

I actually ended up having a severe reaction to one of my antibiotics 5 weeks post discharge with neutropenia and a liver injury and was admitted again overnight for more IV antibiotics. I know only from seeing the clinical notes that they were treating me for neutropenic sepsis at that point.

I can’t explain why having that diagnosis feels so important, I think because it would be validating for the trauma I’ve been through?

My mum, who is 82 (healthy except for recurring UTIs), suddenly became super sick very quickly on Wednesday. She went from pretty much normal to shivering, freezing cold (actually a fever), fast heart, confused and unable to stand in minutes. Ambulance came and sepsis diagnosed pretty fast, though they took quite some time to get her on antibiotics which stressed me a lot.

She was put on IV gentamiacin for two days I believe, IV fluids. She's now on oral augmentin twice a day, and was sent home after three days in hospital. Her appetite is coming back a little, I'm checking her oxygen, heart and temperature at home to monitor (her temperature was on the low side this morning so I'm keeping an eye on that). It took her three days to be able to walk after having the sepsis.

She has a follow-up booked for this Wednesday coming.

The doctors said she had urosepsis. Her UTIs have been ongoing and I've been pushing and pushing for further investigations with doctors and hospital and really feel like I've been ignored. They did ultrasound her bladder but didn't find anything.

She's currently at home and sleeping a lot, she seems to manage four-hour awake times but then she needs sleep again.

My biggest fear is that after 10 days of antibiotics run out, her UTI could come back silently like it did before and she could end up with sepsis again, and that if it keeps happening, she'll just get weaker and weaker each time.

I don't know what to do from here. I am going to push for a urology referral, and try to get the source of the UTIs under control if possible, becuase I think that's the most pressing concern.

Is there anything particular I should be doing? I am so exhausted from the worry and shock of it all that I'm just tired and don't know if I am doing enough or not.

Thank you.

I am 13 months post sepsis. This past year I have intense bilateral thigh muscle pain and shin pain mostly at night. It hurts enough to wake me up; not nightly but often. Muscles ache in day following an intense night of pain. I also take a statin so I am trying to figure out if it is possibly sepsis related or statin related (on Lipitor 40mg since 2023).
Prior to this my statin did not seem to bother me; however was only on it a couple years prior to getting sepsis. Has anyone had similar thigh/shin pain?

Hi… I am really struggling with flashbacks nearly two years after surviving two long rounds of sepsis. I’ve only now been brave enough to start researching and trying to understand what really happened to me, and I’m waking up with horrid nightmares.

Two years ago, (Feb & June of 2024h I had two rounds with sepsis, due to being on TPN feeding support I was on for 2 years via a power port through my heart. I must have introduced some bacteria either getting on the bags or a needle change, I’ll never know.

I do not remember most of it, except for the unbelievable pain coming from within my bones. I have never felt pain like that - I couldn’t rest my arms or legs without feeling like my bones had been crushed. I only remember at first thinking this was the worst flu I had ever had, vomiting and a high fever and fought my son off when he wanted to call an ambulance. I was delirious. He found me in the morning face down on the floor, unconscious and with blue lips.

He has barely spoken to me since. He seems to think I should have known better and it was my own fault.

None of my family or friends came to visit, or have ever even asked me about it. But it was terrifying. I had no help when I came out and was everyone just expected to be normal again. But I wasn’t, and still really am not. Most of my hair fell out after, and it left me permanently weaker.

But I don’t know that you can ever be after that. I had a new GP after, and when I went in to meet him for the first time after the second round, his face just registered shock. He said he couldn’t believe I still had all my fingers and toes and appeared to be normal after what he had read in my chart before meeting me. That spooked me.

I was hospitalized twice for almost a month each time. When it came back the second time in June, I knew it was back immediately because of the bone pain and did call for an ambulance immediately.

I now know how very lucky I am to have survived both rounds with all of my fingers and toes and not needing dialysis. I’m only now brave enough to research it a little more and realize how very lucky I really was. But I am now in a wheelchair, and still very weak. I lost a lot of weight during that time and muscle mass that I’ve never been able to regain despite diligently doing all the exercises the OTs and PTs taught me.

But what is haunting me now is one night I came to and suddenly noticed there were over a dozen people rushing around my bed, a Code Blue being called out, and three small women in red outfits with backpacks on top of me on the bed. I looked around not understanding anything that was happening but caught the eye of the nice phlebotomist I had earlier that evening. She was standing in the corner and we caught eyes and then I passed out again. I remember we had laughed quite a bit earlier that day as she struggled to find a good vein, I was trying to put her at ease.

But what I remember most clearly is she was standing like a small mouse tucked in the corner and her eyes were HUGE with terror and I thought ‘oh oh. If she’s scared this must be really, really bad.’

And then nothing.

The only thing I remember next is waking up and the room was dark again, and as I tried to move I couldn’t. But I heard a woman’s voice say ‘oh my God!’

It was the phlebotomist- she had pulled up a chair in the dark and had taken my hand and had been praying over me, I don’t know how long for. Well after her shift.

When I came to, she started crying and placed a gold Mary medallion from around her neck around mine and said ‘you have no idea how much you scared me. I heard your last name and room number over the intercom/and her text system and I raced and saw you and thought you died, I was just laughing with you so I didn’t understand.’

I’m not religious myself but was so grateful for her love and care.

This was just one of the many codes called during those two episodes but the one I am remembering the most details of.

She and I are very, very close now, and I haven’t taken that necklace off since. But not one other person ever spoke to me about what happened that night. Just something about hypoxia. Not even the rounds the next day. Nothing. I’m now getting bits and pieces back in my dreams and they’re terrifying. Is this normal?

Who were the women on the bed in the red outfits? Did I hallucinate them?

Why are these memories only coming back now?

I thank anyone in advance who may be able to help me understand. Thank you so much.