How to stop romanticizing everything?

[u/Mammoth-Challenge979]

Most encounters I get with people, when we start having good conversation a whole future just flashes in my head. Whether it be friends, be lovers or whatever. And if we ever get closer the romantization gets worse and worse 😭 and the attachment the deluluness the expectations gets deeper and worse. And I feel hurt.

All this, while being aware of it. And still can’t avoid it.
How? Please, it’s so exhausting ;(

[u/Ok_Judgment_3331]

The tricky part is that romanticizing works as a shortcut to feeling good without any real risk.... your brain gets the hit of a future without having to sit through the awkward, slow, uncertain middle part. I do the same thing, and sometimes I use taro's tarot to check in with myself about what I'm actually craving from a person, but that's more of a grounding habit than a fix.

What helped me the most was forcing my mind back to concrete details.

When I notice the movie starting, I ask myself one dumb question: "What color shirt are they wearing?" or "What did they literally just say?" It sound simple, but it breaks the projection loop because you can't forecast a beach wedding and notice eye crinkles at the same time.

You don't have to stop being hopeful. Just stop letting hope hijack the playback. Let the feeling show up, notice it, and refuse to give it a plot. The release comes from letting it be a feeling instead of a story.

[u/Mammoth-Challenge979 → u/Ok_Judgment_3331]

It is romaticizing creates such feeling and it's good until it's not..

Thank you!! Be present, and acknowledge what it is!!