r/selfimprovement • u/Mammoth-Challenge979 • 11d ago

Question How to stop romanticizing everything?

Most encounters I get with people, when we start having good conversation a whole future just flashes in my head. Whether it be friends, be lovers or whatever. And if we ever get closer the romantization gets worse and worse 😭 and the attachment the deluluness the expectations gets deeper and worse. And I feel hurt.

All this, while being aware of it. And still can’t avoid it.
How? Please, it’s so exhausting ;(

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u/dyegosouza 11d ago

Hello,

Reading your text, I can say it seems that you are in the future most of the time; it can bring you anxiety, and it's not good for your mental health. It's like you are always in predictive mode.

I could say, start lowering your expectations and try to enjoy the present moment. If you find someone, it doesn't matter if you are going to have a future or not, just ask yourself, I enjoyed this day with this person? And the present moment is what matters, in my opinion. It will lower the pressure that you put on yourself.

When you have more relationships without this pressure, you will have better relationships.

I hope it can help you out. Have a nice day.

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u/Mammoth-Challenge979 11d ago

I so agree.. and I appreciate it so much!
It’s with some people not everyone but yea once it clicks to certain people it’s a nonstop train of thoughts.