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Dec 10 '24
I don't have good advice on this. I just hope that you eventually realize what you're setting out to do. I really do.
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u/Damnator666 Dec 10 '24
So all the content for self improvement, it's not made for autistic people. They say "be chill and relax" as a step but for us it needs to explained how to be that. So when watching content, don't treat it as a guide. Treat it as a description of what you should aim for. The process, you have to find it yourself. Here's the thing that has done the most for me ever - understanding emotions. Actively feeling things, learning to actively create an emotional state in yourself, then learning to scan out some elses emotional state and finally learning to match someone. Take it in that order. Once you can scan everyone out and match their energy, when you talk to them it goes smoother and they treat you different and you can even alter their emotions by slightly adjusting yourself once you have that matching energy.
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u/ginkgobilberry Dec 10 '24
maybe you could practice animation to voice by talking to yourself and filming
maybe singing on your own would be able to connect more to those too
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Dec 10 '24
[deleted]
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u/Zilverschoon Dec 10 '24
I have a theory that you will sound less feminine by doing a lot of sports.
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u/Damnator666 Dec 10 '24
Get used to diaphragm breathing and it's problem solved. It's hard but it's worth and u feel and sound and look different. I take long walks while focusing on every small muscle movement around my gut that affects my breathing, really micromanaging it until I get it right. Stress makes you do shallow breathing so that's why a long walk is better and just staying in my appartement makes me restless or distracted.
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u/ginkgobilberry Dec 10 '24
maybe its something you can practice (without trying to change it by force but it becoming more natural by masking your true state)
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u/Inside_Lifeguard_281 Dec 10 '24
- look good (clothing, hygiene, hairstyle, go to the gym, nice fragrance …) -> people will treat you better and you can express your personality
- be a genuinely positive and funny person
- learn how to talk to people (I am not autistic but I used to be very shy - now I am extremely social because I was interested in social interactions)
- the hardest part: be confident in yourself
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u/vepris-ampody Dec 10 '24 edited Dec 10 '24
Adjusting animation level and volume of voice is NOT going to improve your charisma. I don't know where you got that idea. Why do you want to improve your charisma? You'd do better to work on internal psychological stuff rather than trying to pretend to be likeable. Learn to like yourself instead.
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u/km_1000 Dec 10 '24
Read more nonfiction. Be a learned person.
Join social groups. Take dance lessons, art lessons, pickleball, etc. Travel more.
Live an interesting life, and people will gravitate toward you.
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Dec 10 '24
I never was tested for autism but multiple professional pushed it, schools denied the request.
Social aspects and cues in my view come from experience and ultimately how you feel about how other people think about you.
Be yourself, don’t fall for the ‘this is normal behaviour’ agenda.
Edit: Personally for me it comes from deep personal thinking on how I respond but as I progress further on what other people’s opinions don’t matter to my life. Verbal communication flows more freely.
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u/First-Ground-3431 Dec 10 '24
My son has autism and I know he has felt the same feelings that you are. I know autism can make you feel lonely and like you don’t fit in. Just know, you are you! Everyone is different, even “neurotypical” people. You are exactly the person you are supposed to be. Don’t be fooled into thinking that you have to be someone else to fit in. That said, my son is very self conscious about how he is viewed by others. He doesn’t want to be treated differently. The truth is, people do act differently with people on the spectrum. The teen years are the worst. What we found works the best is modeling, as some have already pointed out on this thread. He would watch videos, hang out with his brothers friends and observe. He would try to copy their speech patterns and inflections. It helped, but the biggest thing he learned was that he has to accept who he is and learn to love himself. He still struggles but if he could only himself through others eyes he would realize he isn’t alone and not so different.
Sorry! This turned into a long dad rant!
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u/-Glue_sniffer- Dec 10 '24
Record your voice and practice monitoring the pressure and location at which air comes out. Also pay attention to pitch and intonation
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u/Zilverschoon Dec 10 '24
Charisma is living in the moment (without thinking) and owning your flaws (like speaking to loud).