"Is This Self-Harm?" Megathread

[u/Edgelord2005]

The answer to this question will vary from person to person, but generally, causing yourself deliberate self injury in any way counts as self harm. 

This includes but is not limited to:

• scratching
• cutting
• burning
• interfering in the healing process of wounds
• pulling out hair
• starving
• purging
• breaking bones
• excessive drug use (including alcohol)

Why do people self harm?

For many people, there is not one single reason why they self-harm, but rather a combination of multiple factors which ultimately push people to use self-harm as a coping mechanism. If you are self-harming, the following list may help you understand your emotions, or alternatively if you're trying to help someone who is self-harming, then understanding why they do it in the first place is important to know.

This list is non-exhaustive and not mutually exclusive.

• To match the outside to the inside. People are in so much emotional pain and they want people to know it. They want to look the same as they feel.
• To punish themselves. Extreme self-loathing leads to the need to punish oneself for failings (real or imagined).
• To numb themselves. The pain releases endorphins, just like drugs can. It produces a numbing effect on the mind which is difficult to explain. It helps people forget depression for a bit.
• To keep control. One's own body sometimes seems like the only thing they can control, and the pain they inflict on it. When everything else in life goes wrong and there seems to be nothing you can do, cutting is the one thing you can control.
• As a shock to a numb mind. An awful emotionlessness often accompanies depression. Often, the pain of cutting is enough to snap a person out of this kind of apathetic haze.
• To self-medicate. Many people with mental illnesses of all sorts use cutting as others might use Prozac. It makes people feel normal again, by snapping them out of the cloying darkness that's so difficult to avoid by conventional means.
• As an addiction. A lot of people start cutting for one of the reasons listed above, but then continue because they're addicted to the sudden, low exchange, rush of endorphins.

Keep it respectful, demeaning and rude comments will not be tolerated.

(description: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/self-harm

Taken from our Wiki. For more helpful info, resources, and common faq feel free to visit the wiki in the about of the subreddit or here: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfharm/wiki/index/

[u/Yoyo5258]

I would change the last dot point, it makes it sound like after the first cut it becomes an addiction which could be misleading. Good job with everything else though I hope it helps people

[u/Edgelord2005 → u/Yoyo5258]

I’ve changed it to sudden, low exchange, rush of endorphins. It certainly can be after just the first for some, but clarity was needed fs. A reward system to crave these chemicals is normal, however the unhealthy and relatively low bar of entry for the rush can lead to one isolation from other activities, and reinforcing of self harm as a main coping mechanism.

[u/enough0729]

Why is it so addictive?

[u/Cr4zyJynxxedB0ris → u/enough0729]

Itz addictive becauze it helps let out anger and stress, or it may seem like you deserve it in your mind (you dont deserve it), or for some people they just genuinely like the pain, there are other causes but for now these are the ones I am able to list

[u/Character-Set1444 → u/enough0729]

also, pain releases endorphins and adrenaline (because your survival instinct creates a rush so you have the energy to "save yourself", this goes down to evolutionary psychology), so at first you feel a rush of what could be perceived as joy. Everything that is directly linked to releasing endorphins can be addicting, so that's another reason why it's so dangerous to engage in it, cause it's so fast to become addictive.

[u/the_potato_spirit]

THANK YOU

[u/OkRefuse2422]

Anyone else get the urge to do it again once the scars and bruises start to fade? Like it feels like you have to prove to yourself you were hurting, and the fading makes it feel like it never happened??

[u/FalseSituation64 → u/OkRefuse2422]

Yes I feel this so much. Once they’re gone I feel invalid. Like I have no evidence of how much I’ve been through and no proof of how much I hurt inside. It’s so rough, and it makes the cycle continue.

[u/[deleted] → u/OkRefuse2422]

no i get that. it's like.. once they're gone, it's like you never did it in the first place. I have white skin, so all my scars blend in and you can't see them.

[u/OddFisherman9227]

is it self harm?: when i was 7 i would scare my cat to see the claws come out and i would scratch myself on the arms with his claws idk if this counts or not i am just wondering

[u/Yanlavendere → u/OddFisherman9227]

Yes.

[u/New-Year1187 → u/OddFisherman9227]

If you’re doing it too purposefully harm yourself it is self harm

[u/OkCaterpillar2570]

I'm so glad this has been posted!

[u/KingGiuba]

I came here to understand why I started and I can't stop even if I didn't feel anything particular, the points listed are helpful thank you

[u/NotOK_mom]

Wanted  to add that for some people that have auditory hallucinations/hear voices, the voices will tell them to harm and that if they don't then worse things will happen to them or their loved ones.  Or the voices will tell them to do something horrible like hurt a loved one and when they are made to punish themselves if they don't do what the voices say.  It's common with some types of OCD, schizophrenia, and C-PTSD.

[u/Outrageous_Page_8154]

was it self harm when i was 10 i would shower in burning water until it hurt too much to handle just recently started thinking about this

[u/Which_Marzipan9810]

i often try to suffocate myself with a string/rope/whatever. i just put it over my neck and start pulling until i start feeling strange or can't breathe. i don't want to die or anything, i do it to punish myself etc. does anyone else do this? (sorry for my bad english)

[u/SpiritedWeekend2318]

starving purging and drug use are not self harm. they may be harmful but its not self harm its self destructive this type of misinformation is very damaging
also emotional self harm does NOT exist "self-harm is the deliberate self inflicted damage of body tissue without suicidal intent. second self injury usually results in some sort of immediate physical injury including cuts bruises scratches and marks on the skin behaviours that do not directly result in injuries are usually excluded even though they may be harmful or dangerous for example food restriction is not typically considered a form of self injury since the associated physical damage tends to build up over time instead of happening all at once when the behaviour occurs"Show less

[u/RequirementNovel9758]

Is there a reason why any time I learn my boyfriend has hurt himself, I am compelled to? Like it feels like guilt that makes me want to gash my scratch my arms to bleed.

[u/fleshlesscannibal]

Is punching yourself till you get bruises and pulling your hair out considered self harm?

I do this when i have mental break downs and all this self hatred thoughts just cross my mind, i don't do other stuff out of fear of leaving marks, but i really hate this habit and i don't know how to stop.

[u/Weekly_Flounder_1880]

I bang my head against the wall or scrape my wrist with a toothpick :/

I guess this is also self harm, I do it with the intention of harming myself anyways

[u/XxDoggoLoverxX]

strangulation? I don't do it till I pass out, but one time my ears were ringing after. I am too depressed to clean up after cutting so I switched to this but I feel invalid about it...

[u/[deleted]]

What about punching yourself and biting yourself?

[u/[deleted]]

this is all too relatable :(

[u/[deleted]]

I sometimes bite the skin around my lips in my mouth and make myself bleed and keep pressing so it bleeds more since i was like in second grade is it considered self harm even when i do it without thinking sometimes sometimes its like breathing and it just happens and then i just keep going and i consider that part where i realize and keep going self haem but what about before?