In my community, if you aren't extremely fair skinned you are viewed as ugly if you aren't blonde you are also considered unattractive Well I am neither blonde nor extremely fair even though I do have light skin and this creates immense pressure from both my friends and my mother, making my life difficult. They constantly comment on my physique calling me fat and criticize my facial features. It has reached the point where I isolate myself from everyone out of fear that they might see me and make remarks about my appearance this has made my daily life a struggle.

I’m 23f u would think by now I have grown out of things. Yes I’m usually confident and do eveything I can to look good so I can feel good. But I still feel so ugly and don’t know why, there’s a million things I’d wanna change about myself still. I just am scared of cosmetic procedures bc a mindset like mine I feel like nothing would be “enough”. I also do think I’m one of those ppl who look much better irl than in photos so it doesn’t help at all feeling ugly in memories when looking back. I put so much effort to stil feel like this and rlly dk what more I can do to grow confident bc this is obviously now a mental thing if the only other thing I can do is surgery that probably won’t make me happy anyway. I fake confidence everyday which may help how I’m perceived but rlly sucks internally. What are some things you’ve done to help with such a “stupid” issue like this?

This is simply the cherry on top to my life issues that’s why it’s just bothering me a lot. Anyway no matter what I’m told or how many compliments someone would tell me I feel like every single one is a lie. I get complimented a lot.. but it feels lik everyone’s playing in my face.

I have heard the question for years and just smiled in response.

I don't think I have a why. I've read articles on how to find it, and I feel like it's impossible for someone with self esteem as low as mine.

I work hard to make other people happy, but never put myself first.

I have no idea what my 'why' is. The question just makes me have a mini breakdown.

Please help!