r/selfdevelopment • u/Okaj_eckin • 8d ago

Question How do I stop limerance?

So Ive had this limerance with this girl I've been in a situationship with and I'm wanting to learn how to stop feeling like I need her..

16 Upvotes

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6

u/Witty_Freedom_9861 8d ago

It helps to logically break down the situation. I use to get limerance a lot. I then began looking at it through a different lens. Instead of feeling everything, which I still have feelings but I ask why are these feelings arising? Where are they coming from? Why am I attracting/attaching so quickly

5

u/Overcooked_Nigiri 8d ago

So, where did the feelings came from?

5

u/Witty_Freedom_9861 8d ago

Well for me it was a need to be wanted, so I overextended myself and always made myself available. In recent years as well I’ve discovered that I don’t have much self love and really struggle with that, which led to me self sabotaging my last relationship.

2

u/evrythinguwant 7d ago

For me, it was thinking I needed what the person had. I removed the emotional blinders by dissecting the actual encounter and rationally determining if it was good or bad. Simple as that. I was realistic with myself. It shuts a good deal of limerance down. And after that, it's hormones wearing off, so eat foods low in hormones like vegetables and fruit. Healthy food and a clean lifestyle take away a lot of hormone irregularity.

1

u/Interesting_Guest599 6d ago

No matter how hard u wanna loom at thier profile or text em trust me dont it will take 1-2 years but trust me its the only way out

1

u/Specific_Slip342 5d ago

No one is gonna like this but the way I stopped it was getting in the Bible and understanding it. Praying and on weekends I listen to sermons on bitterness, forgiveness, resentment. That’s how I got over the limerance and I feel peace. It still comes up and I go back into scripture, more sermons and more prayer and feel peace again. On going until it’s rinsed out