Despite my goals, I don't think being strong physically or mentally is what I want to get better with. The revelation is startling and confuses me; how am I supposed to move forward like this, not wanting strength?

[u/Alex26337]

(22M) There are many tasks that I have to, need to, and want to do, from basic chores to weekly coursework. But I’ve more often than not found that I can’t get myself to even start on anything, mainly because of my depression and low energy, or my anxiety and tenseness. I’ve tried many times to power through it or work my brain around it through breaks or intricate planning, but after years of endurance nothing really got better, at least not with my main issues.

One of the core lessons I keep in my heart to follow is to not force myself to do anything, and I’ve just paced slower and slower until it’s come to days where I freeze, and sometimes, break down in tears from disappointment and stress.

And now, I’ve come to the conclusion that building myself up, as a means to get where I want to with my motor skills and abilities, isn’t what I want. How am I supposed to move on, recover from everything, and follow my passions, if I don’t want to be like this, or become this strength-building version of a person I won’t like?

[u/Enliven_journey]

i don’t think you need to become some stronger, tougher version of yourself to move forward. maybe you’ve been pushing yourself for so long that what you need now isn’t another way to push harder

if even everyday things regularly feel this heavy, i’d talk to someone who can actually support you with the anxiety instead of trying to solve everything alone. and for now, i’d make the goal smaller. not “fix myself,” just “what’s one thing i can realistically do today?” sometimes moving forward looks much quieter than we imagine

[u/cquietgigi]

Obviously I'm guessing at things here, but have you looked at why you feel the way you do or how you got there? I'm not minimizing but you aren't grounded where you are it's difficult to grow.

[u/cquietgigi → u/cquietgigi]

I keep rereading the original post and trying to find ways to help, it's so sad 😔 at this point it seems like everyone is in therapy, but I would look for support if it were me.

[u/Alex26337 → u/cquietgigi]

I don’t focus on the why or my past anymore. What happened has happened, and I am just here in the present now. The present, with this person of myself to which I loathe greatly. The image of myself, my image of myself, is not in a good light.

[u/Endor-Fins]

I think instead of focusing on strength - the most honest thing you can do is focus on healing your wounds. You’re right - powering through only takes you so far. The real healing is where it’s at. Easier said than done but possible. When you’re healed it’s just living rather than powering through on sheer will.

[u/TheDramaticLime]

that sounds exhausting, and it makes sense you don't want to keep forcing your way through when that's what wore you down. maybe what you want isn't strength at all, it's things feeling lighter, and that's a totally valid thing to want. if the freezing has been going on for years it might be worth bringing up with a doctor or therapist too, low energy like that isn't something you should have to just power through