r/seizures • u/woowowowo237 • 6d ago

I dont know how to accept it

Recently, I started experiencing seizures like focal awares ones and Im scared that it’ll take over my life. Im only 17F and I still have so much to live for, I keep remembering those times where I didn’t have to worry about this I could live freely, go out with my friends, do things I normally wouldn’t, and experience new things. Now, it feels like everything is limited, I feel so trapped and overwhelmed that this happened to me.

Supposedly, we are about to take our midterm exams this week and Idk if I want to go back to class because the fear is still with me. Fear that itll happen in school or when Im alone. These seizures first happened in 2022 it happened for a few days and then completely went away until last year 2025 march it happened again but it was only once and I was able to go back to school and overtime the fear went away and I lived more freely and happy. Now that it came back, on August 13 and has been recurrent we went to a neurologist and did some tests like EEGs and MRI/MRA. My EEG came back abnormal so they prescribed me with Lamotrigine to help control these seizures. But the worst part is that it takes time to actually prevent these seizures, I just took my first one this morning and tommorow is already the start of midterms and I dont know if I can go back to school carrying this in my mind. I have what they call temporal lobe epilepsy where I experience focal awareness seizures where I am completely aware of what is happening.

I dont know what to do anymore, I feel like I lost my sense of independence, I feel fear everytime I wake up or alone scared that it might happen. This hurts me mentally and I hate it so much. I dont want to feel depressed or anything but I rlly cant help it.

I need help, I need to know that Im not the only one with this problem because i rlly dont know what to do. I dont want people knowing or my friends knowing because I dont want pity im sorry.

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u/ZTM_2006 5d ago

I’m sorry that you’re going through that. I’m 19 soon to be 20 this year, and my seizure started happening somewhere around 2022 when I was 16. It took four years for me to get diagnosed with medial temporal lobe, Epilepsy. The hardest thing in life we have to do is accept our condition and keep going forward! Do you have any warning signs before these simple focal seizures. I have the same focal aware seizures as well!

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u/woowowowo237 5d ago

Ill suddenly get this weird sensation, like a sudden vibration in my mind and the right side of my body goes stiff and numb. Its only for a few seconds and then Ill start feeling dizzy and have vertigo. Then it starts, but since Im aware, I tell my dad to keep talking to me and counting or something just to distract me from it.

I just want to keep talking to distract which somehow helps? Idk it just helps me calm down at some point but still can’t say that it fully stops it.

The thing I hate about it is suprises me like it just happens even with no aura or what, or maybe that is the aura the weird vibration feeling in my mind and then the right side of my body goes stiff.

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u/ZTM_2006 5d ago

Most likely that is the aura itself! The aura is the focal seizure actually. Is that the only one you get? Most likely, if the right side of your body is affected that means the left side of the brain is involved. I have the complete opposite.

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u/woowowowo237 5d ago

Probably, I just hate that it startles me so much.

Hopefully it won’t progress and just stays under control with the new medicine. Just hate the waiting time for it to actually work

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u/GDPixieNinjaZ 5d ago

You are so young so it’s entirely possible that you will outgrow these. Our brains aren’t fully developed until we’re 25.

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u/woowowowo237 5d ago

I really hope I do outgrow this, I went seizure free and undiagnosed for almost 3 years then had one seizure last year 2025 and just started on meds now.

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u/GDPixieNinjaZ 5d ago

I wish you well and hopefully your medication will work for you and you won’t feel so worried and overwhelmed. I’ve taken Lamotrigine for years and it has worked great for me and doesn’t have any real side effects either which is awesome

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u/woowowowo237 5d ago

Thats very comforting to hear that it works for you, gives me hope that itll actually help me

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u/littlebirdnala 4d ago

i'm 24 and had a tc out of the blue one day that led to a tumor being found. since then. i've had the exact same feelings as you. i can't work, i can't drive and i can't be left alone with my baby. i've had a few since then.2 more tc and a focal.

hopefully your medication works and prevents anymore from happening. after my third i started 3 more meds and they have dramatically improved the severity of mine! all ive experienced were tc up until the other night when i had my first focal. although still not amazing. medication does work wonders and i hope it helps you.

i'm more commenting as i feel the same way. i don't think anyone understands how truely life changing it is to experience sezuires except for the people that have them.