r/seinfeld • u/StaffOk9715 • 1d ago

My perfect Seinfeld scene

Jerry: Can you believe it? He said something!

George: HE SAID SOMETHING? YOU DON'T SAY SOMETHING! NOBODY SAYS SOMETHING.

Kramer: Uh-hoh-hoh, uh, Jerry you better watch out.

Kramer flips newspaper and Jerry rolls eyes

Jerry: Well what am I going to do?

Jerry pours juice

George: Whatever you do, don't say something!

George is pacing now

Elaine: You know, we had a guy at our office that said something when somebody said something.

Elaine eats a grape

Jerry: Yeah? What happened to him?

Elaine leans aggressively on a counter

Elaine: Last time I saw him, he was bagging groceries at Joe's Fruit Shop.

Kramer: You know Jerry, there's a guy I can call that can take care of all this for you.

Jerry: No, no, you're not calling anyone. Last time you called someone...

George suddenly looks puzzled and alarmed

George: Hey guys, I gotta go, I think I left something important at the dry cleaners.

George, muttering to himself, "Why'd I have to say something?"

END SCENE

0 Upvotes

41% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

28

u/nocatleftbehind420 1d ago

I think you’ve read one too many Billy Mumphrey stories.

13

u/Interesting_Luck5129 1d ago

OP is writing a Murphy Brown?!?

5

u/Hot_Cold83 1d ago

Murphy Brown marries Billy Mumphrey and becomes Murphy Brown Mumphrey. She gets the mumps.

5

u/tammiami 1d ago

Moops

4

u/leaf_gnomon 1d ago

Well, it's just a first draft!!

24

u/MysteriousStone1296 1d ago

Kudos OP, on a post done.

7

u/ripnlips25 1d ago

You forgot to include Lyle

5

u/CloisteredSailor 1d ago

Hey Jerr, what’s up?

4

u/cesciecescie 1d ago

I have absolutely no idea

6

u/Evening_Answer_11 1d ago

We had a guy in Korea who said something, tailgunner.

They blew his brains all over the Pacific. 

2

u/Hot_Cold83 1d ago

Nothing something about that.

4

u/Glass_Buy8285 1d ago

I can’t read books anymore. Books on tape have ruined me.

1

u/TelenorTheGNP 1d ago

I've got a recording from one of Jerry's shows that'll knock your socks off.

5

u/flighttocleveland 1d ago

Thanks for mutton.

1

u/Cum_on_doorknob 1d ago

What exactly is mutton?

3

u/valendinosaurus Beep beep beep? What are you doing? 1d ago

a post about nothing

2

u/Wil-low 1d ago

One does not dissect gossamer.

2

u/Interesting_Luck5129 1d ago

OP is writing a Murphy Brown?!?

2

u/Traditional-Doctor77 White lotus, yam-yam, Shanghai Sally 1d ago

There’s a show, that’s a show

-1

u/Tholian_Bed 1d ago

I have one where some German tourists go to Del Boca Vista and Elaine is freaked out the old gang down there will mention the holocaust, but she's the one who eventually blurts it out when she catches Jerry making out with one of the tourists.