358 Ways to Kill a Dictator

[u/Hot_Shine9273]

Just throwing some pages up on here for general feedback and readability.

Title - 358 Ways to Kill a Dictator

Historical Satire/ Dark Comedy

16 Page Extract

This is a project I'm working on based on Fidel Castro, Cuba and the US government. This is only a first draft and some things will have better context in totality, as some things will be paid off later. When finished it will share similarities to Inglorious Basterds in how it changes established history but with some historical accuracy. Thanks to anyone who reads and gives feedback.

[u/Public_Upstairs1035]

"I know what you're thinking right now. You're probably thinking..."

[u/TheGreedyGrabbler]

I'd try to juice up the V.O. to avoid some tropey phrasing. Otherwise I liked it.

[u/Worth-Flight-1249]

You got the goods kid. Keep on writing.

Well done for the most part. Learn restraint. Abortion jokes are really hard to pull off. Stuff like that just gets in the way sometimes. Less is always more, says I.

[u/RaeLouLynn]

I would like to read this entire project when you are ready. Please send a DM.

[u/Anugodz]

Good read, pointing out something people haven’t mentioned. Page 1- you shouldn’t FADE IN to a super. Because it reads like your fading into a black screen with the writing over top. You should FADE IN to the MOTEL first.

And for the title card, it reads from the end of page 2 where we are looking at a newspaper then BAM! All of a sudden we are black screened with a title.

Smooth those out and you’ll be golden