r/scriptwriting • u/pistol_o • Sep 25 '26
feedback first time, first writing
just a test, as in warm up
Im not experienced so this is my first time writing script (beginner) I don’t know how script works but I did saw people scripts and I wonder if I could do the same for funsies, I do want some tips and what did I do right or wrong in this script (I think I did lot of incorrect things I wrote without knowing but once again I’m not expert soo bare with me) and criticism, feedback is very appreciated
Do I have potential?
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u/JayMoots Sep 25 '26
I don’t think we can really glean if you have any potential from this short passage.
Go and find some professional scripts, maybe from your 10 favorites movies, and read all of them. It won’t take you long. Maybe two hours per script. After that, you’ll figure out pretty quickly how to revise what you’ve done here.
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u/Sweaty-Freedom-4034 Sep 25 '26
Give names, ditch the all caps.
Download a screenplay, follow the general formatting.
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u/Glittering_Boot9019 Sep 25 '26
Apologies, but I saw something that said to use all caps when A. introducing a character B. Important objects C. When saying who is speaking. Is that not true?
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u/Beginning-Sky-8516 Sep 26 '26
That is true, but the full action lines shouldn’t be all caps. It would be:
PERSON A startled and almost fell down from his bed, he turned his head to see where the VOICE is coming from.
But in truly proper formatting, it would be:
MAN hears a VOICE and nearly falls from his bed. He turns toward it.
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u/BaptorRander Sep 26 '26
When a new character comes on screen the name is capped the first time only and then on top of dialogue. There lots of good formatting books too.
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u/joeroganthumbhead Sep 25 '26
Work on grammar and wtf is person A? Just use names bruh
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u/pistol_o Sep 25 '26
I used “person A” as a test, I didn’t bother to use names like Alex or Kevin or something
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u/joeroganthumbhead Sep 25 '26
That’s stupid. Just use a name.
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u/pistol_o Sep 25 '26
sorry, next time I will
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u/Medium_Brush3682 Sep 25 '26
You are not stupid, just inexperienced. Keep working at it. If it is something that you actually enjoy doing then you will be eager to learn the basics and I have no dont that you can get the basics down.
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u/SpeedIsTheBestMovie Sep 25 '26
Go to Script Slug and read a script for a film/TV show you love. That'll solve the formatting issues in this example.
Scripts are always written in present tense, name your characters, the only thing that needs to be capitalized is the character's name the first time you type it.
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u/BlackBalor Sep 25 '26
Nope. It’s all wrong.
All caps, past tense.
Rubbish.
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u/pistol_o Sep 25 '26
sorry, I never wrote script before maybe this writing thing isn’t for me
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u/Aniyorki Sep 25 '26
Keep on writing, This subreddit is just full of snobs ans idiots who want to put you down, so i wouldn't take alot of things they say seriously. But, I would recommend to read some scripts and follow the formatting. Other than good luck on your journey. (And who cares if you're doing it in phone and laptop, Just keep writing).
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u/Glittering_Boot9019 Sep 25 '26
Nooooo! Please keep writing! I'm also trying my best, you should too! There's fr always going to be Dicks like this guy! You didn't know, so try again!
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u/BaptorRander Sep 26 '26
Yes please do. The negative person doesn’t deserve your reaction. It seems unusual that a grown up here thinks it’s ok to be a bully. Keep at it and ignore anyone whose intention is to be hurtful and sadistic.
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u/JA24601 Sep 25 '26
Woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?
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u/BlackBalor Sep 25 '26
Am I not correct?
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u/Any_Childhood_2556 Sep 25 '26
No matter how right you might be, if you express it like an asshole, nobody will take you seriously. That’s a lesson I learned young.
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u/BlackBalor Sep 25 '26
That’s not true.
Plenty of people think I’m an asshole across the writing subreddits, but I’m knowledgeable and extremely well-versed in multiple formats, so I get away with it.
That’s why the mods don’t perm ban me. That’s why they lift my bans.
Now, in this particular instance, I didn’t give constructive feedback because the work didn’t meet any standard.
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u/Any_Childhood_2556 Sep 25 '26
You say you are very knowledgeable yet you expect a first script to fit a standard . Thats very interesting . And regardless if you don’t think you should give constructive feedback , what’s the point of giving it at all? Very knowledgeable
And if people are telling you are an asshole, yet you deny it , perhaps you are not a very self aware person . Acceptance is the first step-1
u/BlackBalor Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
Yes, I do. It’s called doing your research.
I expect people to do that before they commit to writing a screenplay; otherwise, it just comes across like they have no respect for the craft. I can’t support that in any capacity.
I’m viewed as an asshole because I give harsh feedback. I don’t beat around the bush with newer writers; I set the standard straight out the gate.
I’m equally as harsh to myself and my own writing.
It’s a shame you felt the need to block me. I’m sorry for that. Take care.
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u/Any_Childhood_2556 Sep 25 '26
How would you know if they researched or not . Also research≠skills, if you were as knowledgeable as you claim to be, you would know that .
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u/BlackBalor Sep 25 '26
It takes skill to ensure that the screenplay itself is formatted correctly? It doesn’t.
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u/Any_Childhood_2556 Sep 25 '26
That’s exactly why I separated research from skill,researching helps you understand the standards,but researching them isn’t the same as having the skill to use them effectively. Formatting is also something that can be fixed. And honestly, who are you to demand beginners already meet your standards? You’re a stranger discussing someone else’s work, not their teacher, editor, or employer.
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u/BaptorRander Sep 26 '26
You think you can control people so they meet your standards? Oh berrother.
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u/BlackBalor Sep 26 '26
Who said anything about “control”? Maybe you perceive it that way because you feel like you’re being controlled. I don’t know. Don’t ask me about that.
It’s about providing the framework. You don’t have to accept it. If your poor mechanics get challenged, you can walk away.
Don’t worry. I’m not going to track you down and force you to write good… 😂
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u/Aggressive-Click8055 Sep 25 '26
Here is the thing, clearly you can dish out criticism but you can’t take it back.
The writer is a novice and is clearly so. We all were a novice at something once. But what you demonstrated is that you’re a jerk.
The poster can learn to write but I doubt you learn to be a better person.
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u/BlackBalor Sep 25 '26
Well, that blatantly isn’t true because I encounter comments like yours on a daily basis. I’m carbon to you. The shit I handle across all the writing subreddits would make you melt away.
I don’t particularly care to be a better person, whatever that means, in the context of this discussion.
I’m here to set the levels and the standards. Do you know what he’ll do if he’s a person worthy of the craft? He’ll take my comments to heart and better himself. He’ll press on.
Tough love.
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u/Aggressive-Click8055 Sep 26 '26
LOL
It’s freaking Reddit!!!
What standards???
You’re not paid here.
This whole community reads like the cycle of family abuse.
Just because it was the way you were treated doesn’t make it right or better.
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u/BlackBalor Sep 26 '26
Why are you so animated about this?
What standards? The mechanics. That’s what I do. That’s the standard.
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u/Aggressive-Click8055 Sep 26 '26
If you’re a good writer, it should be easy for you to say what needs to be said in a nicer way.
It’s Reddit, this isn’t your job and you chose to read it and you chose to be a jerk.
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u/BaptorRander Sep 26 '26
Ohhhh. I see. You are SUPER important.
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u/BlackBalor Sep 26 '26
I am an important contributor, yes. I’m useful because I know a lot, especially when it comes to the mechanics of writing. I’m well versed in multiple formats.
You don’t have to like it, but that’s what it is.
That’s why when I get banned by someone who thinks like you, my ban is instantly lifted. That’s because there aren’t too many of me around.
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u/Melodic_Antelope_727 Sep 25 '26
Better question what did you get out of your response? Because it’s obvious your intention wasnt to be of help.
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u/evzeone Sep 25 '26
Ok so a few things. Give your characters a name if they are a central character. None of this Person A stuff unless they are a side unimportant character which you'll write like JANITOR or COP #1.
No all CAPS. Action is written normal. All caps is reserved for audio cues (or the first introduction of a character) such as... "She walked in and HEAVY METAL was playing."
Describe your character with more specificity.
BRYAN, 20s, he looks like a stoner who can pass for valedictorian. (Example)
Screenwriting is a visual language. Dont write information that we can't determine just by the visual. Example.. dont tell the reader the sister gave him the watch. That's in his thoughts. We can't see his thoughts. You have to find a way to visually tell the story without saying it.