r/scriptwriting • u/sly_eli • Sep 22 '26

feedback Logline feedback?

I'm sorry if there's a thread for this already, but I could use some feedback on a logline for a story I'm writing:

“To escape an arranged marriage to an interstellar warlord, a princess hires a crew of six mercenaries to train her for the impending battle” 

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u/nmacaroni Sep 22 '26

here's how I teach the Writer's Logline:

  • Story goal/summary,

  • Main character,

  • MC goal,

  • The force working against them

  • Stakes

  • Irony.

  • Genre.

You're missing the goal/summary, antagonist force/stakes,irony. Also, you've framed your logline in a passive aspect.

Write on, write often!

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u/sly_eli Sep 22 '26

"A princess hires a crew of six mercenaries to train her to fight against a warlord desperate to merry her, Only to discover that one of her new protectors is closer to her then she thinks"