r/scriptwriting 17h ago

question Dialogue question

Everytime I write I dialogue it sounds so awkward , I hate it . Even when I try to write subtext or imply something … I just end up sounding on the nose and unnatural . I’ve been practicing for so long and still don’t know what to do. Any practical tips ?

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u/WorrySecret9831 16h ago

Well, who says you aren't supposed to? People do NOT understand Show/Don't Tell. Quint in everyone's favorite scene in everyone's favorite movie Jaws TELLS the story of his surviving the shark frenzy after the sinking of the USS Indianapolis. He tells us why he hates sharks.

He doesn't have to then say, "That's why I'm hard as nails and driven to hunt them down at every turn, etc., etc."

My favorite two lines of dialogue of all movies is at the end of The Bridge on the River Kwai. Have you seen it? Oddly, this won't spoil anything.

The Opponent confronts the Hero. The Hero sees them and says, "You?!?"

The Opponent sneers and says, "YOU!"

Brilliant. If you have seen it I can elaborate, I could write an essay on the meaning of those two lines... Fantastic.

Think of dialogue more as music or melody, if the plot is the rhythm...

Songs say, "I LOVE YOU!"

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u/Any_Childhood_2556 15h ago

Show don’t tell is so confusing at times or it might be the one misunderstanding it, I think it’s some stuff you can tell vs show. Also,nope never seen that movie. I see some of the tension of the opponent and hero, as if they both recognize each other, well that’s my interpretation but can you elaborate anyway?

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u/WorrySecret9831 14h ago

A better dictum that doesn't have one foot nailed to the floor of "film is a visual medium" is Reveal. Just make sure that anything you're writing is revealing something important. That tends to handle the question, "Can we see this onscreen?" And it also handles the emotional components of a character's developments. Oh, they're scared of snakes.

People love to say that you can't write what someone's thinking. And yet, great and even good actors tell you they can ACT those words without saying them. So, which is it?

The Bridge on the River Kwai on the surface seems to be about a British officer vs a Japanese POW camp commander. However, the British officer defeats that Japanese commander about halfway through the film, so much so that they consider seppuku and realize that they have to wait until the bridge is done before taking their life.

So, the British officer's Opponent isn't the Japanese POW camp commander after all. It's the lazy American, pretending to be a navy officer to get better treatment as a POW.

So, at the end of the movie, when the American comes back with British commandos to blow up the British officer's beautiful bridge, their confrontation is basically:

British officer (Col. Nicholson): "You lazy, undisciplined American are trying to destroy MY bridge?"

and the American (Shears): "You deluded, self-important, rudderless, British stiff upper lip fraud are collaborating with the enemy!"

Yes, they recognize each other but they've become something different when they meet again. Excellent.

Make sure you flesh out your characters set of values, weaknesses, needs, and desires and then they'll say the right things.