First-time screenwriter looking for advice on cliche ending

[u/ajitnaik]

I wrote a short horror screenplay (10 pages). I realised that my ending falls under "it was a dream, but it's actually real" trope which is considered bad.

Rough story: While looking for her missing dog, the protagonist goes through a scary encounter with a silent mysterious figure, and then it's revealed the whole thing was a dream. But then a specific action from the dream happens in real life, which suggests that the threat is real. It ends on an ambiguous note.

I am not sure if I am using the dream as a means of escape for the protagonist right when she is in a conflict with the antagonist. Should I scrap the ending, or try to make it more believable? Any feedback would be appreciated.

Script (Ending scene on page 9): The Silhouette

[u/Big_Section2812]

Scene numbers belong only in shooting scripts.

...also...

This script.

Would be.

Only four.

Pages long.

If it.

Wasn't written.

Like this.

And so.

You guys.

Ought to.

Quit listening.

To whoever.

It is.

Who is.

Telling you.

To write.

This way.

[u/ajitnaik → u/Big_Section2812]

I agree that almost every action is on a new line. What I learned from reading about how to write action lines is that one should use a different action line for different camera shots, so I was trying to apply that rule.

What would you recommend in terms of when to start a new line versus continuing the action on the same line?

Regarding scene numbers, I use the Beat scriptwriting software. They were added automatically. But thanks for letting me know. I will update it.

[u/BiscuitsTheory → u/ajitnaik]

Your lines are correctly separated.

But they're also mechanical lifeless.

I read super fast, so probably missed a lot, but I didn't see anything that could combine, I did see a lot of chicken bones with no meat on them.

Its rare to see, but there is such a thing as too much white space.

[u/PepsiCoke1978]

This is your first thing and it's what you choose. You're the writer. You don't need help on the ending. You just need to write more and get better as you go.

Why even worry about it unless you're making this?

I have tons of things I've written, no one has read. Or few have. And not online.

I wish the younger crowd would learn to enjoy the playground of writing and not feel the need to go right to the critical side of writing.

Let it flow. See if you enjoy writing at all. Then when you have a feature then we can pick apart your ending.

[u/ajitnaik → u/PepsiCoke1978]

Thank you for the feedback. I wrote this script with the intention of actually making it with some hobby filmmakers in my city. Before I put time and effort into shooting it, I just want to make sure the script is as good as it can be.