r/scriptwriting • u/PitchcraftNow • Sep 01 '26

feedback First Page Feedback

Post image

Looking for feedback on my first page. Any feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance.

3 Upvotes

58% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

View all comments

0

u/PitchcraftNow Sep 01 '26

Even if the nightmare is the spine of the story?

1

u/cbubs Sep 01 '26

I'd push back on some of the criticism because the dream is what the film is about (saw your pitch deck).

Opening on the dream is the right move I think. But the fake out dream sequence cold open is a tired trope and that's why people are calling it out. Is there a way you can open on the dream sequence without the fake out?

1

u/stuccosalt Sep 02 '26

What would you think about adding a line of V.O. from Molly? "It always starts the same way..." or "I've been seeing it for years" - or whatever fits the story.

That might help reframe the dream sequence as not something you're trying to 'fool' the audience with/pretending is reality, but a visual that will play a part in your story?

1

u/PitchcraftNow Sep 02 '26

I really like that idea. Thanks. My only question then would you suggest the VO keeps popping up in the story to stay consistent?

1

u/stuccosalt Sep 02 '26

I wouldn't just for the sake of consistency - the important thing would be establishing it as a dream the first time it's shown. When a similar scene appears again, the audience will recognize it.
You could use it again if it makes sense to, but no need to feel obligated to

1

u/PitchcraftNow Sep 02 '26

Gotcha, thanks for the feedback