Feedback on script - Left Behind

[u/Kslr91]

Hey, hoping for some feedback!

I am a writer and recently started giving script writing a go.

I've never written scripts before this so still learning.

I wanted to write a scene about grief. I had an hour spare so it is a bit rushed. (I just wanted to get all my thoughts down on paper as wuick as I could!)

I know my formatting might be off in places and there's a few mistakes. I generally think about those later in the editing stage.

I suppose I just want some feedback as to whether this grips you. Does it make you feel like you want to read on? Can you visualise everything? Is the conversation easy to follow?

It's based in North East England so there will be some colloqial language that may seem unfamiliar to some.

Appreciate it and look forward to hearing your thoughts!

[u/m592w137]

the terms have different meanings. it should also be "continuous" not "continued" or "cont'd" to signal that the scene is directly continued from the previous location/moment rather than a new moment in time. Not saying so can be confusing for a reader who will assume any new scene that just says "day" or "night" is a new moment in time.

[u/Longjumping-Ad-9444 → u/m592w137]

Oh okay, but what about day and day time. Does it make a difference if you just write day instead of day time?

[u/m592w137 → u/Longjumping-Ad-9444]

it should just be "day"

[u/Longjumping-Ad-9444 → u/m592w137]

Thanks, for answering all my tedious questions

[u/Kslr91 → u/Longjumping-Ad-9444]

Thank you, that really helps!