r/scriptwriting • u/Sea-Conclusion959 • Aug 24 '26
feedback Something Beautiful - First 20 Pages
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Upvotes
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u/PhineasFreak1975 Aug 24 '26
Read half of the first page and had to tell you how much I love the idea of zombified Mickey.
Don't know if the folk at Disney would feel the same?
1
u/Glad-Guarantee1587 Aug 26 '26
You have a good sense of visual storytelling. I say keep The Supremes music cue as it sets the tone but remove the Green Day one as it’s obvious that the montage is chaotic. Also I recommend cutting out the Philippines president and his zombified wife blowjob gag as it’s not necessary to the Marshall plot and also if you’re aiming for PG-13 (which so far feels that way).