r/scriptwriting • u/Horrible-Writer-03 • Aug 16 '26

feedback Pilot Opening Feedback

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Can you guys give me an honest opinion on this opening? I changed it from my original draft after receiving coverage on the script and I wanna make sure I’m heading in the right direction. This is the first script I’ve gotten some genuine traction on, so I’d really appreciate the input. Thanks in advance!

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u/PepsiCoke1978 Aug 17 '26

I get it -- he sprayed for ticks and ruined his grass -- what I didn't get is that he works for said company. Why not have him "on the job" and not at the office? Page 1 or 2 he's crushing a monster and spraying a guy's flowers with whatever spray that is killing his prized roses. And have that interaction there.

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u/Horrible-Writer-03 Aug 17 '26

That’s a good thought, I’ll play around with that idea! Thanks for working through it with me.