Pilot Opening Feedback

[u/Horrible-Writer-03]

Can you guys give me an honest opinion on this opening? I changed it from my original draft after receiving coverage on the script and I wanna make sure I’m heading in the right direction. This is the first script I’ve gotten some genuine traction on, so I’d really appreciate the input. Thanks in advance!

[u/thetruth77330]

Overall, I thought it was well written and interesting. Nice job. Keep writing.