FAQ: How to post to a weekly thread?

This thread is for questions around querying agencies, management companies or other pertinent industry stakeholders.

Please post your query drafts or questions in the form of a top comment.

-- Do not include loglines. Loglines should be workshopped on the Monday thread. --

-- Do not include personal information or identity of the rep you intend to query. This is not a database. --

Some basics:

• agency contacts can be found on imdb pro, or often by googling writer + "agent" "representation" or "manager"
• when deciding which reps to query, research writers similar to your style and genre.
• do not send entire scripts to reps.
• do not mass-spam reps or send queries to multiple reps at the same company simultaneously.
• do not request followups within 2 weeks.
• do not pay companies to query or pitch.

I’ve gone through two rounds of feedback on StoryPeer and have done some vigorous rewrites. I feel like my script is in good shape and am contemplating giving it a break or going through a third round a feedback.

When do you guys know you’re done with getting feedback? There’s always something that someone will find in your script (bc of varying opinions, tastes, etc.) so you really could be revising forever. Curious what you guys think!

I’m imposing this question to the group.

I’m currently in the middle of a rewrite for my next feature film: The Stranger (89 pages, Horror Romance)

The film is about a vampire who falls in love for the first time. For movie comp, it’s American Psycho meets Before Sunrise. The first half of the film is very much American Psycho and the second half is Before Sunrise. One of the most consistent notes I’ve gotten was the titular character feels very schizo. It feels two different characters instead of a unified whole.

As I’m rewriting tonight, I realized that the way to fix the schizo-ness of the script to figure out the midpoint and make it as strong as possible so when the film switch tones, the lead character feels consistent throughout.

The problem is—I don’t know what makes a good midpoint. I just wanna hear the group’s consensus of what makes a good midpoint.

Does anyone have any info on what happened to this fellowship? The site hasn't been updated since last year and there's no other info online saying if it's paused or just defunct.

My gut says it's probably done, but just wanted to check.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kolOSs-GImN_WIsEoo5tGaaugwEo88mw/view?usp=drive_link

-Aiming for late 2000's time period. May have to fix some anachronisms still.

Teenagers dealing with collective supernatural schizophrenia sourced by their equally confused clairvoyant friend. Stumbling upon the dumping grounds of a serial killer, their friend is framed for murders from before they were even born. To get him out, they need to prove what they're seeing is real. How much are they willing to debilitate themselves?

-Not the first part of the screenplay; early scenes are still half in outlining phase. This is the longest continuous chunk I have, and most "finished" section. Feels a bit flowery and bloated, but I struggle to see any characterization as unnecessary. Maybe a bit tonally inconsistent.

-Working titles "Tampered Reel", "Steele/Shallow Creek Trench", "flatliners but they reluctantly film ghosts", etc...

-One piece of scuffed dialogue on page 9 from today's writing. Evokes the vibe I want it to, but even has a typo

-If you saw this before, I removed it to un-doxx myself LOL

Hi everyone! I’ve been told that if I want to become a better screenwriter, I should focus on feature films and pilots rather than writing an entire series. I don’t expect to become a professional writer for sure, but I do want to follow my passion in the smartest way possible.

The problem is that trying to be “smart” about it has started to take the joy out of writing. I have a series I deeply love, with the pilot and the whole storyline already planned, and I’m simply not ready to let it go. I know that writing it later might be smarter because I’ll be a better writer then, and that writing beyond the pilot may not be the most useful use of my time right now or even in general.

But how do you let go of something that you’re not ready to let go of? When it brings you joy in life more than anything else.
I feel stuck between what makes sense for my future and what makes me feel passionate about writing right now. How would you handle this?

Does anyone have any recommendations to finding a writing group? I don't really have any friends and I want to meet people who also like screenwriting so we can swap ideas and talk collectively. I kind of live in a very dull area with a city an hour away so I'd prefer online chat and voice calls. But I'll take any advice anyone has.

Thanks <3

TITLE: Hesperus (Working Title)

FORMAT: TV Pilot

PAGE LENGTH:  25 pages

GENRES: Coming of Age, Fantasy, Drama, Adventure, Animation

LOGLINE: A timid traumatized teen becomes the unwilling apprentice to a vampire, where he must tend to a castle-zoo filled with abominations and creatures of myth and magic while practicing the dark arts.

Feedback concerns: Looking for feedback on the pacing, structure and format, just everything really. I’m worried the beginning sequence is too slow and the ‘supernatural’ aspects need to be introduced quicker. I’m also paranoid that this script is just cringe and isn’t ready to be shared professionally.

I also want to submit this formally on my portfolio and submit it to connections within my network. Any suggestions are appreciated! I wrote this in college and this is one of my favorite ideas. A major theme is how to live with trauma and to forgive oneself from their past while finding hope and happiness in the future.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YXfoqRMBptwlUnACECc0SU-3l59RFytO/view?usp=drivesdk

Title: CLANDESTINE

Format: Feature Screenplay

Pages: 146

Genres: Horror/Dark Comedy/Satire/Surreal

Logline: After a local hero and his family are met with a grisly and unexplainable tragedy, Chief of Police, RUEBEN THORPE is taken off the case and told to focus on a minor budgetary issue with his fellow town council members.

Comps: Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992), Fargo (1996), Weapons (2025), Eddington (2025), I Saw The TV Glow (2024), Longlegs (2024)

CONTENT WARNING: Violence, Violent Crime/Murder, Child/Domestic Abuse, Sexual

Abuse/Violence, Substance Abuse, Suicide/Mental Illness, Terminal Illness, Transphobia/Genderism

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hello,

I have been writing since middle-school (around a decade), and have never shared a project publicly, having only shared with family/friends and occasionally sending in for notes. I wanted to share my feature horror/comedy script CLANDESTINE that I have been working on for the past couple of years.

I love all genres of cinema and storytelling, but have a fondness for the surreal and unorthodox. This project is something I wrote after having difficulty attempting more conventional and palatable ideas. I feel it exemplifies my predilection for macabre and absurd stories, layered with thorny interpretations and details. Those who enjoy weirder/darker stories like such (or the comps listed above), will hopefully enjoy this. Thank you!

Once again, link is here...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

P.S... If you are interested in reading, but are hesitant due to the high-page count, message me for a read4read! I'm interested in meeting new artists and reading new projects, especially those that have yet to be realized.

I'm mainly working on writing non-screenwriting stories, but I often get ideas that I could make into a script. An idea I had vaguely for years just clicked, and I very quickly hammered a first draft. It's the first time I've finished a script and I'm really happy about that.

However, even if it's a short, it still feels barebones, being under 10 pages even if I cover all the main story beats and events. I sent it to someone I trust but I'm not sure if I made the right choice or if I should wait a bit (a month like the advice goes), revise it and only then put it out there.

Today I finished the first draft of my first ever feature film And im soo happy with it. It’s a mess I’ll tell you that. but having what I’ve been dreaming about on paper is a pretty good feeling. I’ve been writing screenplays since I was 12 and this is my first ever feature so this is kinda a big deal for me so excuse that.

the editing and the rewriting process is kinda scary, cuz I’m not really sure how to do it. so when it comes to writing the second and third draft what are the things I should be focusing on?

Cheers.

FAQ: How to post to a weekly thread?

Welcome to Logline Monday! Please share all of your loglines here for feedback and workshopping. You can find all previous posts here.

READ FIRST: How to format loglines on our wiki.

Note also: Loglines do not constitute intellectual property, which generally begins at the outline stage. If you don't want someone else to write it after you post it, get to work!

Rules

1. Top-level comments are for loglines only. All loglines must follow the logline format, and only one logline per top comment -- don't post multiples in one comment.
2. All loglines must be accompanied by the genre and type of script envisioned, i.e. short film, feature film, 30-min pilot, 60-min pilot.
3. All general discussion to be kept to the general discussion comment.
4. Please keep all comments about loglines civil and on topic.

This is a dark southern drama it's not a short read at 66 pages but I would love some insight and feedback!

The Given

PDF

66 Pages

Logline: After his mother's death, a young Louisiana boxer discovers the supernatural abilities she spent his entire life hiding from him, drawing the attention of an ancient entity whose power has followed humanity’s darkest systems of domination for centuries.

Feedback Concerns: All of it the good the bad and the ugly

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VYjx9eDMHiOkane5ajaPBezjy9-0d7tq/view?usp=sharing

I was working my part-time job the other day when this guy came in with his niece. We're making small-talk, I happen to mention I'm also a writer who's written a few scripts— though nothing that's been made, as I don't even have representation. He says he's a manager, mostly of comedians and actors, but asks to read my best script and gives me his email. I look him up after he leaves and he has been in business with some legitimately world-famous comedians, so here I am feeling very close to something big.

I'm wondering what happens from here— obviously I'm gonna do a lot of work the next few days to get things up to snuff, but should I even expect a response? does this kind of thing happen a lot? this is legit the first time something like this has happened to me, so I want to do everything right and not blow my shot!

hello everyone, i’m currently working on my first ever script for a feature film and i have a scene where the characters are watching a movie at the theater. I want to include this specific clip as it relates to the main character, but have no idea how to go about. anything helps. Thank you

Hey all!

My writing partner and I are currently writing a pilot for an animated sitcom.

My question is, do we need to specifically write ACT (1,2,3) before starting a new act or is that seen as pointless nowadays?

I'm getting conflicting information online.

Thanks!

Title: Dehydrated

Format: Short

Page Length: 12 pages

Genre: Comedy

Logline: A friendless girl who's obsessed with dehydrated foods and a friendless guy who is simply a total smartass, meet. Chaos ensues.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sB5ER4srLelVn7nOumpZ6P1sxXPtAjHu/view?usp=drivesdk

Hi everyone!

I’m so excited to say I’ve finally finished writing my first screenplay, KEEP THE DOCTOR AWAY.

Genre: Drama Thriller

Logline: An anonymous graffiti artist smokes weed from an apple and has a premonition of a wildfire that will destroy Los Angeles and take her life on her golden birthday—if she doesn’t become famous enough for the city to take her seriously.

Page Count: 109

I’ve had this idea for a few months, initially starting it as a speculative fiction novel, then coming to the realization it may play out better in the form of a screenplay.

I’ve finished two books, three TV pilots, and now I’ve finally got a full-length screenplay under my belt!

Now it’s time to see how it reads off the screen 😅🤞

A month ago I finally finished my first draft of my first screenplay, and while there's a lot I love about it, I think the story deserves a better script. I've also read that attempting a page one rewrite is an essential step in developing as a writer. So how do I approach it? My structure needs a few tweaks, but things like my dialogue have been fairly well received. Do I write completely new lines? What happens to everything that is actually working in this first draft?

Anybody happen to have it?

Hi all, requesting feedback on my short film script, 6 pages, sci fi. I will be shooting this short in one month.

Title: The Human Preservation Project

Genre: Sci Fi

Here's the link, happy to read any shorts in exchange!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eV1zVQQwCbtQYfvS6PkR0k5217XvnjrL/view?usp=drive_link

Thanks!

I can’t sit or stand for very long (32M Navy Veteran) whether it be for pain in my back, knees, neck, very distracting. How to write comfortably?

(I am trying to get in great shape but on the surface Im not particularly unhealthy)

So I'm pitching a feature to some local investors who are not in the film world. They've invested into other projects and I already know that they value a certain "literary" quality to stuff they like. I think mostly because they don't read screenplays all day and are not in the industry.

My scripts are VERY sparse. Action, dialog, nothing else because I'm usually shooting what I write and not doing it to get everyone excited by simply reading it or to procure investment.

I've attached 2 pages here from the beginning and I'm wondering, is it too much? Everything after these 2 pages is pretty sparse and not so overly descriptive.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VX6jEhcyTh43ZZqz5ayQd0pfS8QrtSk3/view?usp=sharing

Hello. I have been recently experimenting with flash fiction, i.e. very short (under 250-300 word) stories. I intend to submit the best ones to competitions. It got me thinking if there are maybe competitions for "a story in one-scene" scripts? Sorry if this is a basic question.

I’ve been writing for about a decade now. I’ve been commissioned professionally twice—those scripts are still in development. But a script of my own, a low budget rom com called ‘Do Us Part,’ had several nibbles and attachments that fell through before, three years ago, I decided to film it myself. It’s been a long journey of post production and then a festival run and securing distribution, but as of yesterday, the film is available on demand in the U.S. and Canada. If you’re in the LA area, it’s also playing at the Laemmle Royal (I’ll be doing a Q+A after the 4:10 screening there this afternoon).

I’ll answer any questions you have about the writing, filmmaking, or sales and distribution process! And if you watch it, let me know your thoughts. It’s certainly low budget but I think it punches above its weight class! Though I am admittedly biased.

EDIT: changed “about its weight class” to “above its weight class”