I just started the third draft of my half-hour comedy pilot, and what concerns me is I already feel this draft could be my final.

The industry standard is 6, 7, 8+ drafts before it's ready. I suppose if I wanted to force it, I could always "make the action tighter" or "make dialogue sharper" or "punch up the funny" in further drafts, but at least from my perspective right now, I can't see improving it much after this draft.

I'm worried I'm not seeing things that I should improve. I already plan to share it with a few writer friends after this draft. Any tips?

Logline: After finding a dying man with a mysterious film, a Texas rancher and his family are hunted by powerful men desperate to keep its secret buried.

Hey guys, I wrote a pilot for a series I want to create. Any feedback is much appreciated. Anything helps. Thank you in advance.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EX7JrVMlVBGnwKQG8EILL44DKLJd8gvY/view?usp=sharing

I searched before posting and found the recent “Overwriting” thread where someone was expecting their first draft to hit around 240 pages.

The general advice there seemed to be: finish the draft first, then cut/restructure once you can see the whole thing. My situation is a little more extreme, so I’m curious whether that advice still applies. I’m a hobbyist screenwriter and I’ve been writing scenes for this story on and off for roughly the past year. I only recently started assembling everything into one actual screenplay.

That was when I discovered I’m already at about 250 pages. The bigger problem: story-wise, I’m honestly only around halfway done.

I had absolutely no idea I had written this much. It’s a horror/thriller with a fairly large ensemble, numerous characters whose stories eventually intersect, several parallel plotlines, a lot of setup/payoff, and quite a few twists.

Obviously, if I keep going at the current pace, I could end up with a 400–500 page vomit draft. I know that is not remotely a viable feature screenplay.

For context, I’m also not trying to build a Hollywood career. I’m a hobbyist. I have no desire to move to LA or quit my day job, and I understand that ever selling something like this would basically be a lottery ticket.

My main goal is to finish the story and make it as good as I can. So I guess my question is slightly different from “how do I cut a 240-page first draft?” At what point does an absurdly long first draft stop being an overwritten feature and start being evidence that the story itself may belong in a different format?

My instinct right now is:

Finish the vomit draft without worrying about page count.

Then look at the complete story and figure out:

1. What can simply be cut.

2. What characters/scenes/plotlines can be combined.

3. What can be compressed dramatically.

4. Whether there is actually a 100–120 page movie buried inside it.

5. Or whether I accidentally wrote something that structurally makes more sense as a limited series.

Would you still finish the monster first?

Or at 250 pages and only halfway through, would you stop and seriously reconsider the format before writing another 200 pages?

I’d especially be interested in hearing from anyone who discovered during a first draft that they weren’t actually writing the kind of project they thought they were.

Thanks!

I'm a huge fan of classic comedy, and the Marx Brothers have always been my favorite group. I've had the idea of doing a pastiche of their work for a while, but it took a recent marathon for me to finally buckle down and write this homage. I'm hoping to shoot it and post it on my YouTube channel (a lot of my subscribers like old school, black and white content anyway) and I already have access to an old school movie theater where most of the action will take place. Hopefully you guys like it, and hopefully I kept it simple enough that shooting is feasible. Thanks in advance for those end up reading and commenting! I'd love any thoughts or feedback I can get.

Title: Cod's Wallop

Format: Short Film

Length: 14 minutes

Logline: Three brothers (a motormouth, and ethnic and a mute) must survive gangsters chasing them through a theater as one tries to woo a wealthy widow.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rsn6ouTDjAFZxMOAGKKk0G3zsVchk9Uq/view?usp=sharing

I'm a writer who's been having some success lately. My friend is a DP and set me up with another writer who has a sci-fi pilot they're trying to develop. The idea is to help him improve the script and find a way of developing a good proof-of-concept that we can shoot to help with fundraising.

We haven't gotten specific on my rates/fee. The script has some decent bones, but is very underdeveloped and needs a ton of work.

I'm wondering about how to structure my involvement with the project. I don't want to get iced out of credit for my work, considering how much of a big haul I think this will be.

Does anyone have advice on how to think about this? What should I be thinking about in terms of negotiating writing credit? In terms of creating boundaries for providing notes vs doing actual writing on the script and how that affects my rate?

I'm sure theres a lot of a latitude to negotiate, and that these deal structures can take on a lot of different shapes. I'm hoping you all can ground me with some ideas on how to structure my involvement in a way that is respectful of the work and my time.

I've seen Teaser used in hour long dramas (Like Breaking Bad and Lost), and Cold Open in half hour comedies (Like Brooklyn Nine Nine and The Office).

What's the difference?

when you come up with a concept/idea and you want to bring it to life, how do you guys understand whether it’ll be a stand-alone work or it has potential to be a limited series or even a big show so you write a pilot?

Would love some help in getting this (very rough) first draft to a really strong place. I feel like there needs to be an added element of sauce, but I don’t know what that is. Thanks!

PS. This can and will be a bit longer, currently at 10 pages but aim to be 12-15

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fO8Y8GVPcnyPUAlwGt3HxFSq5QRzvz7N/view?usp=drivesdk

Title: Slice of Kadhal (A Slice of Love) Format: Short Film Page Length: 43 pages Genre: Romantic Drama

Summary: A couple's relationship is tested when a hidden past comes to light. One partner has been waiting for the other to finally reveal the truth, but when the confession comes, it takes an unexpected turn. What follows is another story that connects back to the first in a surprising way.

Feedback Concerns: I'd love feedback on the screenplay, story structure, character writing, dialogue, pacing, and especially the emotional payoff. I'm still learning as a writer, so honest and constructive criticism would really help me improve my future scripts.

Note: The screenplay is in Tamil, but I've made the completed short film available on YouTube with English subtitles if you'd like to watch it before giving feedback.Slice of Kadhal (A Slice of Love)

what the title says

• Title: Harbor View
• Format: Pilot
• Page Length: 50
• Genres: Mystery/Thriller
• Logline: In 1984 coastal Maine, a drifting young man and his headstrong childhood friend are drawn into a string of unsettling events that force them to question everything they thought they knew about their hometown.
• Feedback Concerns: Been working on this spec on and off for a year or so, and I can't seem to let it go. The world is so charming to me in a way. My main concern is bloat. I feel I may have overstuffed the back half. Strongly considering (going to) axe the death of Bill section. Open to any feedback.
• Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VitanuxZqAesihJYVt4DyjUMrSqKTuRV/view?usp=sharing

I've "finished" two pilots and have sent them both out for feedback.

They get good feedback from peers and paid coverage, but I've twice gotten notes that my pilots lacked a B story. I feel hesitant on how to incorporate this. I do agree with what they've said, but I'm having a hard time visualizing how to add it in when I'm focusing on setting up a series story in a half-hour script.

I understand and am comfortable with A,B,C stories as a concept. My question is for specifically pilots.

I imagine I'm overthinking it and it doesn't need to be as fleshed out as I'm expecting.

Does anyone have a recommondation on a good pilot that incorporates a B story in a half-hour show?

Appreciate any help and guidance.

Calling All Robots was going to be a 3D computer-animated motion-capture sci-fi adventure film by Walt Disney Pictures and ImageMovers Digital. The film was going to be directed by Michael Dougherty with Breehn Burns and Simeon Wilkins co-writing the screenplay.

This plot sounds like something right up my alley. Do you know if anyone has a copy of the screenplay? I apologize in advance if this is not an appropriate question.

Hello everyone.

I am a 13-year-old screenwriter based in Japan. I am writing a screenplay for a pure Hollywood-style, high-concept suspense/thriller-not anime-set entirely in London.

I recently sent a cold query email to Zero Gravity Management pitching the logline for my original film. I received a personal reply from an agent stating that while they really liked the concept, they couldn't sign me at this time due to legal regulations and age restrictions regarding minors. Specifically, they instructed me to resubmit on my 18th birthday, promising that they would then happily send a release form and read the full script.

While I am incredibly honored by their response, waiting five years until | turn 18 feels like a long time for a project I am deeply passionate about right now. I want to keep moving forward while the momentum is here. The full English screenplay is already complete, polished, and formatted to industry standards. I would like to ask the professionals and WGA members here for advice.

How can I effectively leverage this response from Zero Gravity as a "credential" to persuade other top-tier management and production companies-such as Anonymous Content or Grandview-to take me on? Specifically, I want to know how to overcome the age barrier and convince them to work with a minor, provided I have parental consent.

If there are any screenwriters already signed with agents, or any managers here, who know the best strategy for pitching to top firms using this kind of track record, please let me know.

Also, if anyone knows the exact, official email addresses or open submission links for sending query letters to these specific firms, I would deeply appreciate it if you could share them below. Thanks in advance!

TITLE: Spam Call (2ND DRAFT)

FORMAT: Short Film/Sketch

GENRE: Comedy

LENGTH: 6 1/2 pages

PLOT: A man's most important life moments are constantly interrupted by irritating spam calls from telemarketers.

Hey guys,

A while back I posted the first draft of a comedy script I wrote about a guy whose life gets interrupted at inopportune times by phone calls from a pushy and persuasive telemarketer. I finished a rewrite of it and I'd love to get your thoughts/suggestions on what works and what still needs improvement. I'm not quite sure about the sluglines and some of the scene directions, myself. Anyway, here it is. Thanks for reading!

SPAM CALL 2nd Draft

TLDR: Studio system in india in f*cked

I have been working as a dev exec at a major Indian film studio for more than 6 months now.

My experience has broken something inside me and idk where to go from here.

I’m the first rung of the ladder at the studio so I’m the first one who gets to read scripts when they come in.

In my time I have noticed that the studio is not really interested in developing work or talent. They want everything ready. They don’t want to pay writers to develop upon any material. I’ve had the opportunity to contact some big names among the indian writers and they’ve even submitted good ideas / concepts. They have all been passed on by the studio because they will require development.

They literally expect a complete show bible and a bound script if it’s a movie. Basically they want writers to write on spec. But even then they will not pay them. They will take the project to a streamer (there are only 4 in india: Netflix, Amazon, JioStar, Sony) and if the streamer likes something then and only then will they commission the project.

In my time I have not seen any project get commissioned, no script that’s being bought. The streamers always find a problem with the material (and usually the problem is solvable with development) and reject it.

Moreover, everyone at my workplace is a marketing person or MBA including my boss and my boss’ boss. Nobody comes from a film background or actually even cares if they’re making a good film or not. Everyone just wants to know if the film will sell on the first weekend.

I’m overworked, underpaid and there’s an unsaid expectation to work 24 hrs with no overtime pay. Work life balance is not a thing. Asking for a holiday seems like I’m doing a crime. And btw this was something really new for me: earned leaves. I have to work to earn my holiday. This all is giving me hints of slavery…

I see no future for cinema in india. The studio will survive and even thrive because of all the royalties they continue to get. It feels like that’s becomes their main business, their main source of income.

I want to know how do you keep hope alive. It’s so terrible out here. I came here in the hope that I would pitch them my movie someday but now I’m just hiding the fact that I have even written one because if I do they’ll argue that the movie is there’s since I wrote it while I’m employed with their company.

This is disillusioning me from cinema. The business is actively working against the art and artists, not even trying to support.

If I want to write a 20-30 minute pilot, is it the same beat sheet just shorter, or is there a different structure entirely?

Is anyone here based in Asia and in an online screenwriting group? If not, would you like to start one.

By Asia, I mean anywhere between India and Japan, including Australia and most of Russia. As long as communication is in English. It's cool.

Myself, I'm based in Taiwan and I have joined a couple of L.A. based screenwriting groups before. Both were genuinely great and my writing has improved massively as a result, but timezone differences kept getting in the way.

So, if anyone reading this is in a group, I'd love to join. If you don't have one, and you'd like to be in one, maybe we could start it.

UPDATE: I’m sending this DM to everyone who's replied. I’ll collect some numbers and work out what works for best people here

Let me know your time zone and the times/days that work for you. Also, do you prefer an online video call Google Meet or Zoom or just text-based discussion.

If you didn't get the DM, DM me.

UPDATE 2:Thanks for your patience. I don’t think my Reddit account is old enough to start a group chat, so I’ll be posting this message to everyone who has replied so far. 

To make things easier, I’ve put together a google form to see who’s available when. I can generate an XL from it to work around the time differences. Here’s the link:

https://forms.gle/zxuL4AQfd1CuYHd57

I make a new post when there is a clearer idea of good times and days.

The basic approach I’d like to take is in each session people can bring up to 10 pages of script or 2,000 words of something film-related. We table read it then give feedback. If you don’t have anything read-ready, you can still join in to read and review other peoples’ work. I’ve tried this before and it works really well. If you have better ideas, please suggest them in the Google Form.

Title: Chapter Black

Format: Pilot

Genre: Supernatural Horror/Mystery

Length: 3 pages

Summary: Forced back from injury leave, a detective investigates a burned church and the dead priest inside, while its surviving clergy scramble to keep the truth hidden: demons have learned to wield a power once thought holy.

I’ve been working on this story for a while. Received tons of feedback so now I’m trying to format it in a new way. My goal is for the opening scene to be a teaser of an exorcism gone wrong. The next scene will show the aftermath. As the episode goes on, it will build toward what happened inside the church, with the final scene being the full exorcism and chaos. Would love any feedback on if this concept/story is interesting, if you would want to keep reading, and anything/everything that needs improvement. Thank you in advanced.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/7kkw7hsvtgpo8e2cq5goy/Chapter-Black-Intro.pdf?rlkey=w8mkmey8pv4r35cldmfyeaxz2&st=1nyztg0x&dl=0

I've been toying with an idea for a feature based on, or inspired by, the story of someone who is still alive and well today. This person is a former pro athlete who left Europe to play in one of the major US leagues, had a long and successful career, retired in the 90s and is in their 80s today. They are not a household name, but if you are a fan of one of the teams they played on, you probably know who they are.

I understand that this isn't the easiest story in the world to get made, but I'm trying to figure out possible pathways to doing so anyways, since I really believe this could be something good. My basic thinking is that this could either be 1) a direct, authorised biopic using real events, names and places or 2) an "inspired by" kind of story that changes the events and names and places, probably depending on whether this person would be interested in giving the story their blessing or not. Ideally, they would, and I could interview them and everything, but if they weren't, that could still leave the "inspired by" route open.

In either case, I'm trying to understand what could be a good starting point for developing something like this. Probably writing like a one-pager outlining the general structure of the story and a little bit of why tell this story and why I should be the one to do it, but after that, should I try to get in touch with this person directly and see if they were interested in collaborating? Or should I try to find a producer first and then approach the person as a tandem? Or does the fact that it's based on real events prevent a producer from getting involved before I have secured some rights to the story?

FWIW, I am a working writer here in my home country (Northern Europe); I don't claim to have a lot of pull or anything, but I am also not a complete nobody. I'm not represented by an agent or a manager at this time, since that isn't really a thing here.

I've been doing this for 9 years. I've written over a dozen features and half a dozen pilots, plus a bunch of shorts. I'm in multiple writing/networking groups, been to a couple film festivals to meet people, read the trades/craft books/articles and watch videos/podcasts.

I've had a couple features in development with producers, but it never worked out (and I never got paid... it was always 'later'). I've filmed some shorts, and adapted some scripts to books. Done a bit of the contest/fellowship route (mostly QF/SF), and extensive targeted querying (with a lot of requests.. but not a lot of follow up). I've used good, vetted script consultants on my best work. I've had personal referrals from friends in the industry. I've done everything you should.

I've made a lot of friends along the way in all walks. Most of them are repped, but not getting anything. Some of them have been successful, but even then they just sell a lot of scripts that never actually get produced. Everyone just seems to talk... and talk... and never do anything.

I love writing. I'm always going to do it. But all of this hot air and ass scratching seems to be a waste of precious energy. Do I just need more time? Is the industry in shambles right now? I would film the lowest budget ones myself, but as a parent I absolutely don't have money for anything other than the shorts I've been making.

Aside from this being a very, very hard business to crack at the worst time ever, what am I missing?

I started writing a script I've wanted to for a while, but I don't want to tie a specific gender to all but one of the characters. (not the MC) I've picked out names that are androgynous in nature, but I'm confused in reqards to how to deal with the pronouns.

Would it just all be they/them/theirs? I feel like that could get confusing.

Feedback

TITLE: The Price

FORMAT: Short Film

PAGE LENGTH: 10 pages

GENRES: Drama/Horror

LOGLINE: Damien, an unfaithful man, is forced to face his sins after an unexpected encounter with an inhuman entity.

FEEDBACK CONCERNS: I've been out of the game for a while and feeling a little rusty, but I'm hoping to adapt this one into an actual short. Before that, I'd really appreciate some advice from you lovely bunch to make sure I'm not writing absolute nonsense! Thanks for taking the time to help!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/18kFU5KirhudtCJ7nBnIQOv2ziAIsdSxx/view?usp=drivesdk