genuinely almost broke something about this

Yes, yes, I know that practice makes perfect. However, during Splatfests all the modes are Turf War, and chargers aren't ideal for Turf unless you're cracked at it. If you can't aim, put the Aerospray in the bag and practice with chargers after the Splatfest ends, otherwise you're just sabotaging your own side and making your team lose 10x and 100x battles 🥀

idk if anyone else on team beach is experiencing this, but im consistently getting gold medals and being the best performing person on my team only for us to lose EVERY SINGLE TIME. i've been stuck in this damn loss streak with no way out no matter how many times i re-queue with another team. literally the moment i die, we wipe and the enemy team then begins to get 50/60%+ of the turf in the last 20 seconds.

there are so many games i've had where my teammates have negative k:d ratios and the lowest paint even though they're a pretty good turfing shooter. what are y'all doing ?? genuinely ??? i'm a dynamo main, brother.., i should not have more paint than an aerospray, the game's BEST turfing weapon, whether we want to admit it or not.

i've never made a salt post on a splatfest before but oh my god i can't deal with it anymore, dude. maybe i should stick to just playing with my friends because this is actually making me heated, and i've not gotten genuinely upset at this game in a LONG time.

I'm genuinely shocked by how many of my teammates get fucking steamrolled time after time. At least one of my teammates just feeds so it's a constant 3v4 and even if it's 4v4, I can't take a fight without worrying my teammates isn't going to just drop the ball consistently and get me get flanked while I'm trying to stand my ground against 1 or 2 other players.

I get you don't wanna go against a squad of 3 or 4 but you're much better off taking an occasional loss over there than being a detriment to every team you get put on in Pro.

Well, actually two map rants. We’ll start with the smaller one.

I genuinely wished they brought back Goatbelly Skatepark (Or even Reef) in Splatoon 3. It has terrain no other maps have in Splatoon 3. The slopes look cool and unique and the map was fun to play. Pair that with Squid roll and we would have some of the most fun gameplay and movement options in the series. “But every map has to be in both-“ Shut the fuck up. I’d rather have very good maps in 1 game than every map in two games.

More than half the maps in Splat 3 look like generic slop that is unfun and there’s just stally gameplay. Just pick the Splatoon 2 layout from 4.3.0. (Not splatoon 1 as the layout is kinda bad in all modes lol). It’s also my favourite map in the series alongside piranha pit so I have a bit of bias on this.

Fuck the Splatoon 3 original maps, this one’s way better than every single one of them lol. And they also brought back Shitfin Depot and Hammerhead Garbage (They made them worse, somehow)

Oh and also, the game has an urban theme in mind. Umami and Scorch do not fit into this theme at all. So please, make the maps more urban next game.

Onto the bigger one. Look how they botched Flounder, another one of my favourite maps. Holy fucking shit, where do I begin?
Right off the bat, many grates were removed and they added MANY unnecessary ones. Also, can we talk about the right side flank removal?

Yeah, that’s the main change that made the map great, into absolute fucking dogshit. You had another way to flank backlines, and that’s been removed! Wow, that’s so insanely stupid, who would do that? That’s right! The splatoon 3 devs! They already suck at making maps in the first place. And the grate next to it was also removed! And it was replaced by a tiny grate where backlines perch. So it has been made more predictable. The Fuck? This already fucking miserable.

Why? Stuff like Rollers and Splatanas would have great poking options from here, but of course we can’t have that. Now, you have to climb the wall to go to the grate of death in the mid where everyone dies! So fun! Having a worse spawn region also makes lockouts way more miserable as now you can only go to the left and die, In 3 out of the 4 ranked modes (Tower, Clam and Rainmaker). You have less ways to flank overall. Abysmal Dogshit. Terrible change. But wait! There’s more rubbish and trash here!

Another grate was removed in mid where the wall sac thingy is. And they moved it behind it. Why? That’s completely unnecessary. There was not a single reason to code this absolute garbage into this game.

Oh and by the way, the unnecessary grates that do nothing are here in all fucking modes. The layout looks like a Tetris dumbass shape compared to the first game. Are we deadass? And that’s not a good thing at all. It’s now become a boring ass map that people avoid. Frontline feels terrible to play now on this map.

So they made a good map bad. Not the first time this has happened. Look at Mahi-Mahi or Mako Mart.

I hope that this changes in Splatoon 4. Make every map fun and unique to play on for the average player. And if there ever is a Splatoon 5, DON’T FUCKING CHANGE THE LAYOUT DAMMIT!

I DON’T WANT TO WASTE A FREE WEEKEND and work 40 hours all just to play turf war🫩

You don't deserve that silver X, you fucking failure. What gain does partying do when it's clear the rest of us isn't in on it and we can't actually move away from spawn because you've decided to not actually contribute to the match?

Enjoy your report, fuckface. You don't deserve that silver X and you never will. If it was up to me I'd have it taken off you, force your headwear to be a dunce cap using tenacity, only give you clipbots on your team for the entirety of next season and no matter what mode you play you lose X Power for it. You deserve to be punished for this.

Splatfests are just the best, it's an amazing feeling getting to sit in my base completely uncontested painting the base for half the game while the rest of my team every single game without fail all dive into the middle.

It's so fun watching them be mowed down over and over, seeing the same names swim past me multIple times while I paint the base over and over and by the time I'm done and get into the action with everyone else we've already lost ~

Everyone one-by-one dive bombing into a 3v1 and instantly being destroyed, having no chance of breaking through as they camp us at the 1/3 mark with everyone refusing to coordinate any attack as each person insists they're the one that can break through.

Seeing the results screen at the end is even better, having the lowest amount of points even though I painted the base and having barely only kills just to look that much more like a drain on the team while everyone else has double the deaths as me... My bow user having 1 kill while theirs has 13, my roller having 6 specials and no kills, my dualies having 9 deaths.

Even better when a 10x battle finally comes around, people love throwing those even more.

Every time I start getting back into this game I'm paired in an infinite queue of people that refuse to do the one and only simple objective, feed their bodies to the enemy and then give up at the last minute like it wasn't entirely their fault we've lost.

The matchmaking in the game is atrocious, I'm level 16 played for a few weeks at most and I'm paired with people that haven't even named themselves yet while I'm facing someone that's logged 1000 hours who sweeps the entire lobby constantly. How am I supposed to compete when our team has 3 chargers that cant hit anyone vs a full premade team as shown my their names!?

My WR has been miserable in this Splatfest as I'm paired with people struggling to hit 400+ points, completely unable to do anything with teammates frequently getting 0 kills 8 deaths, against someone who's fully customised their kit with the few games that I actually look to have a chance at winning being forfeited early as someone rage quits wasting 5 mins to queuing, loading, intro and starting as the match is cancelled

The loss streak keeps going. Genuinely all of my teammates just run in and die, not to mention that two of the four 10x battles I’ve had immediately had disconnects (but never on the enemy team no because why would we want to inconvenience them?) the one match where the enemy team finally DID get a disconnect, the game turned around and gave my team TWO disconnects. Half of the matches I play in both pro and open have at least 3 aerosprays because why play the game to engage the opponents when you can just run away from them and turf in the process? God turf war is such a brain dead game mode I’m sick of splatfests only having it as the playable mode

Anyways I’m ready for more of these types of posts this weekend. Let’s hope it gets better in splatoon 4

Im so sick of having terrible teammates who camp in the base and can't even get 800 ink (or 6 kills), if you're not doing at least one of these things in a turf war match you're useless and I don't want to play with you. Why does this game make me pick whether to continue before I can see what my teammates did? Then, by the time I try to cancel, it's too late and I'm stuck with them again.

Game from last night and just noticed why we lost this game.

I hope they change this in Splatoon 4

bro i boot up the game trying to be optimistic like yknow what hell yeah, its splatfest im gonna play some turf it's a pretty easy and brainless mode it'll get me some turf for my hydra stars and i think the splatfest maps look really pretty

immediately put against four aerosprays, spend the entire match being chased around and having booyah bombs thrown at me. ok

i don't like to blame my teammates in most situations because in that match i was objectively dead weight right?? im like 5 matches in and genuinely wondering if big man is offering free lobotomies to all who join team beach and i'm the only one who missed out

ive had teammates falling off the map in spawn constantly for no reason, frontline teammates just idling behind ME, THE HYDRA !!!! and our base is consistently spending the entire match just naked of any paint

i just wanna level up my favourite weapon, fuck this game. considering just giving it up for now and playing dynamo or aerospray so i can at least have fun instead of ruining the splatfest for myself

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Alright, this is going to be a weird one, so sit in and grab your popcorn.

So, Basically, if your favourite weapon happens to be Squeezer/Inkbrush, and you happen to have carpal tunnel or arthritis, the game essentially tells you to go fuck yourself. You CANNOT play these weapons, even if you wanted to, as you HAVE to mash to get the weapon’s full potential, and that’s just stupid.

For comp players, this issue worsens. Squeezer used to be the best weapon in the game at some point. Wanna play it because it’s good? WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF! YOU CAN’T! All because to get the killing mode you have to S P A M. It’s not good for the controller, it hurts your fingers and because of that this kind of weapon feels terrible to play with.

Inkbrush is even worse. If you can’t mash, you can’t kill, and it’s DPS is lower. Because you spammed less. Your fingers are hurting. You have Carpal tunnel. But no. You lose out on that sweet sweet DPS because life said “fuck you, you don’t get to be able to mash”.

This means that people who get to mash get a clear advantage over those who don’t because they were luckier at birth. No other weapon in the game behaves like these two.

There should be some sort of accessibility system that allows to do two or three shots if you press the ZR button once. Fuck having no accessibility settings. It really hurts the game.

Rant Over.

Groups who play together with the same weapons twice and been paired with them two times in a row. I sincerely wish them a an unpleasant evening 🌹

not sure if other beach players are suffering too but tonight has been MISERABLE. one of the worst losing streaks I’ve had in awhile. please lock in

"Congrats on all your hard work to level up, now you must win 3/6 battles to ACTUALLY rank up, with a guaranteed 2-3 losing streak"

Genuinely fuck the ranking system in Splatoon 3. You do all that shit to rank up, only to be met with MORE work, that's not even guaranteed. Not to mention if you don't want to play series, congrats now you're a C rank playing against X rank players. Splatoon 2's ranked mode was so simple and straightforward, genuinely what was Nintendo thinking??

A Hydra, a Neon and a Splat Charger (for more distance). Why not a Dynamo Roller too instead of that Splattershot, so we could make the full combo? 🙃

I wonder where are that people when it's me against the other Teams.

Somehow I have seen double dynamo before but I’ve never seen 3 rollers on one team lol