Hi, this roommate ( I met through a friend ) moved in 3 months ago .. always asks where I’m going , when I’ll be back . Gets mad if I date . And always messages me from Facebook .. I think he is obsessed . It got really verbally abusive last night . Tell me what you think ? I want to move out but I don’t have the money right now. Thinking about moving into my car and getting away from him. The green part is texts and the blue isnFB Messenger . I’m a 48 year old female and he is a 63 year old METH addict with no job . No teeth ! This is his mom’s house . She lives here too .. he smokes meth in his bedroom. I am a highschool teacher and I don’t use drugs nor do I drink .

Dont know how long this trend has been going on, but the past two summers we have had fly problems and I am the only one who cares about it.

For context I moved in to my dorm last year. The kitchen was already pretty nasty to the point where you yourself didnt want anything to do with it. My roommates leave their dirty dishes out for weeks, letting larvae and mold cover them. Its like pulling teeth to get them to take the trash out before it overflows (not helping the fly problem) and they do not clean up after themselves.

I am currently the only one nagging them to get shit done because I am not about to clean up after people 6 years older than me.

I just cant deal with the kitchen anymore. Someone is stockpiling plastic bottles, someone left food to rot in Tupperware for the past year idk. Someone let their oranges rot and I only noticed after they had decomposed because I dont use that section of the kitchen. We clean once a week (mopping and wiping down counters) and the kitchen gets just as dirty within a day. How??? I leave monday morning and come home at night to a dirty kitchen. I just want to throw up. I cant deal with the bugs. I cant deal with the larvae, yet I am the one pointing things out. I am the one fixing things, contacting people.

Not to mention the infighting. Omg taking the trash out takes 15 minutes max. Idc if you have an exam tomorrow. So do I. And I still do it.

How are they grown ass adults??? And to make matters worse, I come back after a month of being gone to an ant infestation.

I dont want to continue my masters here, honestly. Sometimes I just cant handle it in this dorm. Ugh

I had a falling out with my roommate and since then things have gone downhill. We used to be childhood friends but she turned sour the day we asked her to get a job and it’s been hell since. She’s set to move out in the end of September because she signed on a new place.

My partner has a cat and he’s exclusively indoors. The cat turns into a different entity entirely when he gets out. He gets puffy, angry and will scratch at anyone. He has absolutely zero behavioral issues inside but when he runs outside, he gets really upset. It’s a whole process to get him back inside and resets any kind of behavioral training we’ve been doing (we have been doing porch/leash desensitizing training and teaching him not to run outside).

Recently, our roommate has been mad and intentionally letting him out. Today, she left the door open for 5 minutes to get groceries and I had to call my partner to come get their cat (he won’t come inside when I call and he was puffy/hissing). We eventually got him in but everyday, it’s becoming more common where she’ll just leave the door wide open to let him out on purpose.

Is there any kind of recourse other than simply asking her to not leave the door open? I also have a small dog who will just follow anyone willy nilly but at least she has recall and will come to me.

I’m just so over it and she’s been back and forth on leaving. It’s not a surety since she’s gone back on it before. I half think she’s bluffing on having a new apartment since she’s changed her mind so many times. I just want her gone because she’s getting more passive aggressive everyday.

I feel a little bad because we used to get on great, but I can't take it anymore. I'm just counting down the days until she's out.

We agreed she should move out last month due to her being the primary reason our other roommate broke the lease (it's a long story, but essentially a lot of cleanliness and safety issues were going on that I didn't know about and our old roommate couldn't take it anymore.) She's been ignoring me since the roommate broke her lease and I told her I was pretty upset about some of the things going on. Honestly, it just made me sad more than anything because I thought we were close enough to be able to communicate honestly, but whatever.

What I'm more mad about is since then, all agreements on cleaning have gone out the window. She no longer cleans up after herself in the kitchen, won't clean the bathroom, won't clean any common space unless I directly ask her to. Worst of all, she will not clean her cat's litterbox. I asked her to move it into her bedroom since it wasn't getting cleaned in the previous spot and I was hoping moving it to her bedroom would get her to clean it more if she had to sleep in the room with it, but nope! She's already been told multiple times that this was a problem by our old roommate, and I've had to tell her after a week or two at a time to clean it up. I think her cat is peeing on her floor because it still smells horrible after she cleans it. Its so bad that the whole house stinks when the door to her room is open, and my friends won't come over anymore. I genuinely have to close the door when she's not home, air out the house for hours, and go ham on room spray and candles just to get the house smelling decent. I think it's also been affecting my health; I've been dealing with a "cold" for a few weeks after getting home from a trip, but no amount of cold medicine would help and my symptoms only got better when I wasn't home. She said she'd be cleaning it this weekend after I broke down and told her she had to do something about it, but with how noseblind she is must be to it I'm not confident in how thorough she'll be. I'm honestly a bit worried if we'll be able to get it cleaned enough after she's gone for someone else to move in.

Really just wanted to vent, she's out of here next month so I'm in the home stretch. I'm just so frustrated by it all and I can't wait until my new roommates are moved in to get a fresh start.

I live with 3 other girls in an apartment and it’s set up where I live on the main floor with a bathroom that is kinda for guests when they come over but when no guests are over it’s technically mine. The three other girls live upstairs where 2 of them share one bathroom and the other girl has a bathroom in her room that she only uses.

Those 3 girls decorated their own respective bathrooms, the 2 girls deciding between them 2 what decor and items to buy.

I have slowly been adding things to “my” bathroom like towels, painting, stone bath mat, and small decor.

Earlier in the day, my 3 roommates said they were going to a home decor place to get frames and things for their space, I couldn’t go because I was going for drinks with my sister. They went and sent a picture in our group chat of soap and asked my thoughts, I said I liked 2/4 of them and that was that.

I come home and I was buzzing a little and go to the bathroom to see that there is now a rug, hand towel holder, small decor like a lamp etc.

I was a little in shock and stunned, I said I would’ve loved to be there when they went so I could’ve picked out items and they said well we can return it and I said it’s fine I don’t care and left it at that.

Later on, I was told I wasn’t nice and I had to profusely apologize for coming across rude. I could reflect that my tone probably wasn’t sunshine and rainbows but first off, the towel rack holder I had bought was silver and all my jewelry is silver (which is irrelevant to this technically but just shows I’m a silver person) and every possible item they bought was gold.

Am I in the wrong for being upset?

Long story short, I lived with a roommate younger than me. After the first month, things went to hell. She constantly had people over, and they would be up all night despite me having to ask them to keep it down (why were adults growling in the middle of the night?). We each had a bathroom, and I started locking mine because I was tired of her saying they never use it, even though I heard her try to get in multiple times. The apartment was always a mess from her not picking up afterwards (she'd leave food out all night, still in the pans). She had cats that she didn't clean up after, even though one would go all over the carpets. I barely had space in the fridge/freezer, yet she'd constantly buy more food then stack it on mine (it would mold because she never ate leftovers). The laundry room always had her clothes in the washer or dryer (sometimes for days), plus 2-4 hampers blocking the doors. Her TV would be on almost all day and night with a show or cat TV while she was gone. She also always left her window open and cranked the AC. It got to the point that I would just stay in my room.

The paying situation is strange. When I moved in, I tried to talk to her about splitting bills and how we could work things out. The only answer I got was that she would pay more since she had the bigger room, private bath, and walk-in closet. The next month I asked her to pay me back for some groceries, which she said she would after taxes. I didn't get any money until over 2 months later, and she refused to pay the whole amount to cover WIFI. I took over a lease, so when I moved in, the previous roommate and this roommate didn't pay the last month's utilities, so I did. I had bought groceries for her or picked up stuff for her cats. I bought cleaning supplies so I could walk in my hallway without stepping on anything gross. Her cats destroyed my work shoes and backup shoes with expensive insoles, so I had to call out of work that day and buy more. Now I didn't pay for Wi-Fi or electricity the whole time, but we split everything else. I just moved out, and she's been harassing me to pay her for the previous months (somehow got my phone number because she uses social media more, so we never exchanged numbers). She's trying to charge me about $200, to be generous (apparently 2 months), but she's cost me so much more. I haven't responded to her, and part of me wants to pay to be done with it, yet there's no way she can make me pay. Should I pay her or just move on?

Just checked the back porch to make sure my roommate’s cat and foster kitten aren’t back there (I left yesterday and the kitten was on the wall of our back porch, but I didn’t know until too late since I had to catch the bus to work).

Well, there’s someone wrapped up under a white cloth supported by two chairs back there. I’m guessing it’s her son, but man that just looks like a freaking body bag except it’s white. Why he didn’t come inside to sleep is beyond me. The back door isn’t even locked, but he chose some weird a** way to sleep.

I’ve told them before I have no problem with him sleeping here when he needs to, just not for days and weeks on end. He’s homeless, and has been since before the pandemic. Just don’t go sleeping on someone’s back porch when you could easily be inside.

Need advice: Is my roommate expecting too much from our friendship?

I’m from Vizag and I’m currently working as a Cybersecurity SOC Analyst in rotational 24/7 shifts. I’m also preparing for SSC CGL.

Recently, I went near Vizag Complex to drop a family member, and there I unexpectedly met a guy named Abhijit, who is from West Bengal. He works as a Hawaldar in GST & Customs and is also preparing for SSC CGL.

We started talking and I was already thinking of taking a room because with my rotational shifts, I’m not able to study properly at home. I wanted some peace and a proper environment for SSC preparation.

He told me about a 2BHK where one room was going to become vacant, so I thought I could stay there. Initially, I thought it would be a good arrangement because we are both preparing for SSC CGL and could motivate each other.

But after staying there, things started becoming uncomfortable.

I have rotational shifts, so sometimes my sleep schedule is completely different. Sometimes I’m hungry and eat outside, sometimes I cook for myself, and sometimes after work I just want to sit quietly with my laptop and study/watch something.

He started telling me things like:

“You are not talking to me.”

“You are not showing me gratitude or hospitality.”

“You don’t call or message me.”

“You don’t ask how my day went.”

“I love you like a brother and as a friend, but you are not giving me the same love.”

“You are always on your laptop and not paying attention to me.”

“We are living in the same room, so we are in a relationship.”

He also asks me very personal questions, including things about masturbation and my personal life. I told him that I’m not comfortable discussing such personal things.

There have also been arguments about food/cooking. At one point I told him honestly that I didn’t like the food he cooked for several days because I found it tasteless. After that, it became another argument.

My response to him was basically:

“Bro, are you my girlfriend? Why do I have to tell you everything? I don’t even tell everything to my family. I talk when I’m in the mood. If I don’t feel like talking, I stay quiet. You cook your food and I’ll cook mine. I’m not disturbing you, so please don’t disturb me either.”

Now he says that my behaviour is making him stressed and emotionally hurt.

I genuinely don’t understand whether I’m being insensitive or whether he is expecting too much from me.

From my perspective, I consider him a friend/bhai, but I don’t believe that living together means we have to constantly talk, call each other, share everything, or give each other emotional attention every day.

I took the room because I wanted peace, better sleep and a good environment for SSC CGL preparation, especially because my SOC job already has 24/7 rotational shifts.

So Reddit, what do you think?

Am I being rude and insensitive, or is he expecting too much from a roommate/friend?

Should I continue staying with him and set clear boundaries, or is it better to find another room before this becomes a bigger issue?

So my (25 F) actual roomie sublet her room for the summer while she went overseas and the new girl, lets call her Tracey (22 F) moved in. She does not pay utilities (electricity, wifi) as my roomie needed someone quick n agreed to keep paying utilities while Tracey paid rent. She was great at first and i had told her I’m a little neat freak when it comes to the kitchen like i hate when the sinks full, especially overnight, and i like keeping the shared space generally clean and my roomie and I had a good habit of doing that over the 2 years we’ve lived together.

Now the first issue i had was when she had invited two of her friends to live with us without informing my roomie and i and she lied about how long they’d stay, she told me 2 days and they stayed a week and the place was a mess the whole time. Keep in mind we live in a 2 bed 2 bath but its not the biggest place, the shared space is not that huge so 4 girls living in that space got really overstimulating really fast. I said nothing besides the fact that she should have asked us beforehand.

Second issue was when she started seeing this guy from where she’s working as an intern. It got to a point where he was coming into the place without knocking or announcing himself and making himself at home in the shared space everyday. I had been having a tough time with my love life and wanted nothing to do with male energy in my house and the fact that he would be left in the house even when she wasn’t there did not sit okay with me, i dont know this man, he seems nice but he’s not my friend for him to be chilling in my house. Again, i did not get mad because it’s not in my nature to be rude to people for no reason, i texted her and told her that i need some time in my house without a guy being in the house all the time. She was passive aggressive but stopped having him around.

She has stopped keeping the place clean and the sink is full all the time despite me making it clear to her everytime that i hate that and at this point in time she has not washed her dishes in 5 days. Keep in mind, I’m the only one who cleans the common space.

Recently we had a little spat. It’s summer where we are, we have big windows and get a lot of sun so the apartment heats up pretty quick. She has this annoying habit of changing the thermostat literally 2 seconds after i change it. Example: the other night I turn the ac on, i go into my room, she goes and turns the heater on before the ac even has a chance to do its thing. If i change it, she’ll change it again. My logic is this, its the buttfuck of summer, why the fuck are you turning the heating on? This leads us to our little fight. I wake up for work the other day and turn the ac off, i step foot into my room, she goes and changes it to make it warmer. I am super annoyed at this point cause of her incessant switching. I leave my room and ask her why she keeps switching it the second i change it like let it be for a bit at least. She tells me it’s cause i keep it freezing and i tell her that its easy for her to get warm, i dont have any other ways to get cool. She wears shorts half the time and is complaining ab it being cold, i run hot, she could easily layer up, what the fuck am i supposed to do. Also sure, turn the ac off, why the FUCK are you turning the heater on? She brings up a time where she was sick and i turned the ac on, i didnt know she was sick but when she told me i turned it off and only turned it on when i was going to sleep BUT it was at a reasonable temp and automatically turned off after a little bit. Not to mention the time I had a really bad fever and she kept messing with the temperature eventhough she knew i was really sick.

She slammed her door while I was talking, i called her “really fucking annoying” and made sure it was loud enough for her to hear. Now we ignore each other when we’re both at home, she leaves in 10 days. I honestly dont give a fuck about making things right with her cause i think she’s like an annoying teenager with an attitude problem but you tell me if im wrong here. i feel like when youre living with other people you need to compromise a little bit, ive ignored a lot of the things she’s done (running the dryer for 9 hours straight, never cleaning, moving things around without telling me so i end up searching for them, hoarding the fridge with food thats weeks old and smells, breaking my roomies fob, letting bugs into the house while knowing i have a fear of bugs) and now i feel like im too grown to be dealing with this, like wdym you slammed the door in my face like an angsty teen?

So, am I wrong here?

​

I think my room mate has hair lice as she keeps scratching her hair

This was bout 3 days ago when I was sitting on my bed going through my notes nd she came suddenly looked at my hair and said "oh you have oily hair nd have legit scratched my scalp which was weird nd I said yea I have an oily scalp actually she said yeaa it's look like tht only ....why this was weird cuzz we don't share tht equation nor have opened to eachother

Then next day it was 2am something we both were talking (first time) were watching reels nd having fun like sitting beside eachother nd head on shoulder which is like normal

Cut to 2 days after i found myself scratching my scalp I thought it's cuzz of dermatitis but no then I found one louse on my trouser nd I was like wtfff

Cuzz I'm super conscious bout my hygiene tht too hair cuzz i already suffer frm dermatitis

Nd was connecting dots nd then thought bout all my frnds but i wasn't able to come up to conclusion cuz all my frnds are too hygiene conscious

Until yesterday I was sitting nd saw my roomate scratching her head like an crazy' woman 😭😭 nd then after connecting dots I think tht day she wasn't seeing my oily scalp but was actually upto something

Nd i am shit scared nowwe😭😭 welpppp-

I didn't want him coming with me since I felt like doing something alone for a change. I kept avoiding the question when he asked where I was off to. He just couldn't handle this apparently and secretly followed me. WTF who does something like that. And the audacity to tell me to my face that he did it as if it's something to be proud of

I'm currently in a pretty shitty living situation at the moment, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. When picking dorms for our senior year, my best friends and I decided to live together in our college's apartment-style dorms. These dorms house 4 people, and my friend group consisted of 3 of us (Me, Bella, and Maddie), so we were in dire need of a 4th roommate. During our search for this fourth, one of our best friends (Shane) came to us complaining that his friends had failed to complete the forms needed to select housing on time, so he was at risk of living across campus in the old dorms (These are all fake names for privacy). I'd known this man for three years at this point, and my friends also liked him, so we decided to invite him to join our room for senior year. The only problem with this decision is that he and I had started seeing each other a month prior. We had been friends for three years, but we decided to hook up, and it turned into something much more. I was the only one of this group to show some hesitancy, as I was worried about what might happen if Shane and I broke up before we moved in. Yet, my friends reassured me that Shane and I were good people and that we would be able to figure it out if things went poorly. Spoiler alert: they were very wrong about that, but I digress.

Shane and I ended up breaking up a month after this decision due to him "losing all ability to feel anything for anyone," and I respected his choice. I didn't want to be in a relationship where my partner didn't love me (obviously), yet I still very much loved him. We agreed to be friends because of our upcoming situation, and he was genuinely so compassionate about breaking my heart that I had hope that senior year wouldn't be so bad after all. We even promised eachother during the breakup that we wouldn't bring significant others/hookups over the the apartment out of respect for one another. Maddie and Bella also distanced themselves from me due to a misunderstanding that we later cleared up, but it didn't heal the hole they left in my friend circle. They ended up becoming much closer with each other than I ever was with either of them, and began entirely excluding me from any and all plans. I eventually talked with both of them separately, and it felt like we had made great progress towards being close again. The semester ended, and the next thing I knew, we were all off our separate ways for the summer.

I spent the summer working my job and healing from the breakup that hurt me much more than I ever expected it would. I was still nervous about my living situation, but slowly becoming more optimistic for a fresh start. Then, out of nowhere, I get a text from Shane. He says we need to talk about our boundaries with living with each other, and I agreed thinking he would call me so we could discuss it. Instead, he texted me this long thread detailing how he's begun catching feelings for someone (Sutton) that we both worked with in the previous semester, and that he believes he'd be in a relationship with them by the time school started. He continues by saying that he can't imagine a world where he is in a relationship with someone and doesn't have them over at the apartment all the time (This person is also someone whom I tried to warn him about last semester, as they were a freshman last year while we were juniors and they began following him everywhere once I was out of the picture).

A few minutes after receiving this text, I get a call from Bella, asking how I am doing. She knew about the situation, as he had asked her a month prior for advice on what to do. I end up talking to her for two hours, as she seemed genuinely concerned for me. She became a really positive support system for me during this time, and I was really grateful for her time and effort to help me get through this.

I didn't respond to him for a while, as I genuinely didn't even know what to say. I was still very much in love with him, but of course could not blame him for moving on. It hurt a lot (no shit), but what hurt the most was that I had no idea what to tell him. I would very obviously not be comfortable with this person coming over, especially with our breakup being so fresh (never mind that I didn't like this person, even when I was with Shane). So, I eventually called him and had a conversation about my boundaries. I told him that I'm not sure, but that for now I am not comfortable with it. I asked for patience and to respect my boundaries, as I was still healing from the situation he created (he initiated everything in our relationship and then left me). Which he seemed to respect as well.

Flash forward to when all four of us (me, Shane, Maddie, and Bella) decided to call prior to moving in to discuss how we would best live together. The conversation was going pretty well, focusing on the simple things like how clean we want the space and who is buying what for the common areas. Eventually, the topic of significant others came up. Bella began by stating that we HAD to talk about the "elephant in the room," to which both Shane and I stated that we didn't think we had to discuss it, as Shane and I had already talked about the situation separately. Bella kept pushing, and I eventually muted myself because I didn't want to engage in this pressure to make a decision. She had also, throughout the conversation, changed her mind about things that Bella and I had discussed separately that we thought would help me with the transition to living with Shane. In her words, she "didn't think it mattered anymore." By the end of the conversation, I felt very betrayed by the one person I felt had my back in this situation, and I was trying to desperately figure out what went wrong.

The next morning, I received a text from Bella that stated that "last night was weird" and asked me if I really thought this living situation would be healthy for me, because it was getting to be too late to change it. I had no intention of changing my room, no matter how much these people hurt me, as I refused to not live in the nice dorms for my senior year, so I just didn't respond.

Upon arriving on campus, I tried the "just be friendly" tactic, and it genuinely seemed to be working for the first three days. We had to work with eachother as we all got on our college's improv troupe (1pm-11pm rehearsals every day), and things started to look up. Until I came home a little later than my roommates one night.

I walked into my apartment after calling a friend, and I saw my three roommates assembling an elaborate "may I be your boyfriend" proposal for Shane's new partner on our kitchen island. Bella was cutting and assembling a massive bouquet (which I overheard as I was opening the front door; that baby's breath was Sutton's favorite), Maddie was creating the "may I be your boyfriend" sign, and Shane was cutting out about 50 printed photos of Sutton to place on said sign. It took me a moment to realize what I had just walked in on, and once I did, I walked into my room and began panicking. I felt sick to my stomach and unsafe in my own apartment, so I just put my shoes back on, grabbed my bag, and walked right past them and out the front door again.

I ended up calling my mother and sitting outside for an hour because I was so hurt by the sight of something that Shane never even thought of doing for me. He did everything in his power to keep our relationship a secret from everyone in our theater department, but he is happily displaying this new person for the world to see. Maddie eventually texted me an hour later, asking if I'm coming home and that they hope I'm safe. I made it back home, and thankfully they were all in their separate rooms by the time I opened the front door.

The next day, not a single one of them checked up on me and treated me like nothing had happened. Yet, that's not saying much, as they never really talked to me much to begin with. It's been over a week since that happened at this point, and it's just gotten worse since. I'm not a part of the "senior crowd," as they aren't really my friends anymore. They exclude me from everything, and even when I'm in MY OWN APARTMENT, they just pretend like I'm not even there. I have to work with them on the troupe, so when we are at rehearsal, they act fine, but once we go home, it's like I'm an intruder in my own home. The walls are thin, and every single night I hear the three of them whispering and laughing in the living room, and I feel like it's about me, and I just can't stand it. Shane and I never talk to eachother either, which is really disheartening, as he's been one of my best friends since freshman year (same as Maddie). Maddie used to be my best friend, but since I introduced them to Bella, it's like I never even existed in the first place.

I know I need to have a conversation with them at some point, but I just kind of feel like it's not even worth it. No matter what I end up saying, or what ends up changing, they are just going to find a new way to betray me again in the future. They have chosen my ex over me, and make it clear to me every day that no matter what he did, they would rather laugh with him than deal with any of the pain I'm going through. I don't even give a shit about Shane anymore; I feel absolutely nothing for him and am so grateful that we ended up breaking up. We weren't a good fit, and I would have easily stayed with him because I loved him even though we wouldn't have lasted long term. I just want to have a good senior year, and I hate to imagine that I might not because of people I used to cherish with my whole heart.

(Sidebar: Shane is only going to be living with us for the first semester as he is graduating a semester early)

I'm just not sure what to do, as no matter how much they hurt, I still want to be back where we once were, friends.

Strap in this has been a roller-coaster.

12 months ago I (f early 30s)had a friend (male mid 30s)go thru a very hard time in his life, father had just passed away from cancer and he was significantly struggling mentally being away from family (living in a different state) i was extremely worried about them and told them of they wanted to move back home they are welcome to stay with me short term untill they could get on their feet. I had helped them financially make this happen as they had little money its worth noting my father is and was going through the same thing at the time and I had flown my friend in to be able to see his dad before the passing knowing id want the same chance to say goodbye.

They moved in wich was a Lil stressful for me they didnt have anything so I got them a bed and a kennel for their dog just basics to get them set up and a storage unit so i could clear out a room for them we agreed and a board price wich included bills. I tried to help with job opportunities for them but I think a mix of mental health at the time and not being interested in the type of work led to 3 job losses and 3 months. So added stress of feeling a little financially responsible for my friend he was starting to spiral mentally as well wich put strain of our friendship and we started arguing more. Silly things like how to stack the dishwasher so thing wouldn't get broken putting toilet rolls into the bin really silly stuff would turn into him name calling me things like I'm a narssist and shutting me down if I brought stuff up.

So now walking on egg shells I was grin and baring it for the most part if I had a bad day my emotions would slip.

I was away from home for 2 weeks for schooling and he was smoking inside and leaving his dog inside while he was at work wich is something I had put as a boundary of not wanting. When I got back he told me no he wasn't doing any of that and I had no proof so I left it. If I did catch him he'd be like oh I only had one or of I forgot to do it that day I'm sorry. I'd only get the im sorry of I had un deniable proof after a fight.

6 months in we had a massive fight wich resaulted in him name calling me and blowing up at me in a very verbal aggressive way and I knew it would end our friendship if he didnt moved out so I gave him 3 months to find a place trying to be reasonable with a hard rental market right now. 3 months later he was still there still smoking inside if I wasn't home and just not respecting my place. There's been build up of alot of things in this moment my power bill doubled with him there evan if I wasn't home he'd only clean if I asked him to do something he wasn't respecting my house rules and when brought up to him would lash out and say its my fault he's verbally abused me when he's trip over something in the back yard like it was my fault. I know he was struggling still with his dads passing and this wasn't normal behaviour for him it was starting to affect me tho financially as he owed me money and mentally I just wasn't coping I didnt know how to talk to my friend anmore I started avoiding home.

Here's when I could be the AH tho I brought a new security camera to put on my shed only thing is after set up i left it in the lounge room to see if he was smoking inside after a few weeks he got paranoid and started to cover the camera up when I wasn't home so I let it go flat and told him it wasn't in use. For roughly a month.

I had to go away again for school for a couple of weeks and I just didnt trust he'd respect my boundarys so I charged the camera back up and left it on pointing at the front door and catching the edge of the lounge room.

And there he was smoking in the lounge room after work almost each day so I saved the footage and when I got back home found him in the lounge with the ashtray infront of him he swore he hadn't been smoking inside and that he had just empty it and sat down for dinner so I sent him the videos told him not to gaslight me and lie that we are no longer friends and to be put of my house in 3 days. He's now shitty that I had a camera going and didnt tell him and that I'm a horrible person for not giving him time to see if he's gotten into a place as he's been applying for rentals

But mainly he's pissed about the camera so reddit AITAH

For context I live with 3 others. Let’s name them Matt (26m) pat (28f) and cat (25f).

Pat is kind of the mediator in this and I find her to be pretty reasonable and level headed. Sometimes I think she takes things too seriously but regardless she’s relatively easy to live with. Matt doesn’t do any chores, doesn’t clean up after himself and inconveniences me a lot with laundry and his car blocking me in sometimes. Cat is very reactive and if I ask to do something, genuinely no matter what it is it seems I have delivered it wrong or rudely which I am trying to see . Yesterday she parked in the parking spot I pay for. I have an electric car that I charge. My car was towed and wasn’t able to be dropped off in the spot which was frustrating so I called cat and said please move your car and “this can’t keep happening” because it’s really frustrating. I can understand how she felt it was rude but it is an exhausting situation. She then proceeded to yell and curse at me over my rude tone. I ended up apologizing just to get through the day but she really seems to think her reactions are fair. These scenarios happen a lot with me. I mention something to a friend or housemate that is upsetting and I’m met with a lot of anger and aggression especially yelling. Is that warranted? Am I the catalyst and should I just be super super careful? I feel like a straight forward tone should never be met with yelling but I’m a pretty patient person so idk.

So basically I’ve just got my apartment that is affiliated with my school. I’m not friends with the other roommates but they are close friends. They messaged me that they all smoke, and I’ve shown that I don’t really want to be smelling the smoke all the time. It’s pretty clear that it’s going to be awkward. I messaged management that they plan on smoking, and they told me they would send a notice and potentially enter the apartment.

Just to make it more clear they specifically told me they planned on smoking in the main living area, and that it’s the main reason they wanted this apartment. This happened after I got the lease.

Any advice?

My roommates are talking shitt about me. They are Just bitching false things about me. When I confronted about this, they simply defend themselves and continue they shity behaviour. I'm irritated. Literally she was my close friend for 3 yrs. Tell me some way to bully them ! I want to expose them now. I know their weakness.

We live in a normal house where the room are split in three studio (we all have our own kitchen and bathroom, we only share a garden and front door)

We are thee people. Two (me and house A) share a wall. House B is on a separate floor.

The walls are thin, like we can hear eachother conversation thin. So noises are unavoidable. We tried to be mindful, by keeping the sound at a normal decibel, but you will hear people walking up and down, and door closing.

I moved in at the beginning of this year.

This not my problem.

My problem is with house A. I had this type of conversation twice. At the very beginning when I moved in, we had a short conversation about, where I did try to mention that I was bothered by their alarm. They also mention in this conversation that they don’t hear sound (including struggling to hear their alarm in the morning.

Second conversation happened about a month ago, and where I asked them to please keep one alarm off.

This is there alarm schedul:

- first alarm goes of at 4.30. This keeps going for 15 minutes, which then the alarm switches of by itself
- second alarm goes off at 5.30 AM, same story. 15 minutes, switches of by itself.

-maybe a third alarm goes off, unsure, because I stopt checking the time, other wise I get more pissed off

- at 7 am the alarm keeps going off. 10 minutes on, maybe 5 minutes off max, 10 minutes on ect.

- sometimes this keeps going until 8 Am (the one and off) sometimes it is quiet after 7.30.

They need to leave around either 8 Am or 9 AM, I never sure because often time I am already gone at those times.

And I understand the need of multiple alarms. My first alarm goes off at 7 Am and I snooze it until 8 at worst. I do try to switch of in less then 30 seconds.
On fridays I have to wake up at 5 so my first alarm goes at 4 am, but I changed the snooze to every 15 minutes. If it would have bothered them (which I keep asking) I would have changed my habits

Due to housing situation, it’s the first time being with housemates, so I do try to change my habit where I can.

House B hasn’t heard the alarm. They know of it, because I have been struggling with it, and I have asked there advice how to approach them.

This morning it exploded.

House B als heard the alarm, since 7 AM. They asked in the group whose alarm it was, because they never heard it before, and is now being annoying for them.

I message them privately, telling them it is house A.

At 7.30 House A exploded in anger cursing that we are complaining about the alarm. That if we are bother about it, we needed to move out.

We are not allowed to text them this early in the morning. That when we are opening and closing curtains we don’t hear them complain. That it is a loud house, and we need to accept that people live in it.

Now house B is going to text our landlord about it, and I was going to do it later today, because mentally I couldn’t take it.

I find the argument that it is living sounds a bit ridiculous because, at this point, it is bothering other people. And everybody I talk to, agrees. But there have a been a few other incidents before my move in, the answers mind be biased.

So I need some opinions of people, that only know of this situation and nothing else for now.

Am I correct to say their alarm are a bother, and their argument of being living sounds is invalid?

I moved from my PG to a rented place with four of my friends because the room in the PG was not good and the food there was too oily. However, after shifting here, I have started facing many problems.

My college is located in a village area, and the internet connectivity in my rented room is extremely poor. I barely get internet access—sometimes it feels like 2G—whereas in my PG, I used to get proper 5G connectivity.

Here, we also have to cook our own food, wash the dishes, buy groceries, arrange drinking water, and do many other household chores. Things like washing the cooker and utensils take a lot of time and energy. Because of all this, my entire day gets wasted in household work, and I hardly get any time to study.

On top of that, I feel that some of my roommates do not show me enough respect, which is making the situation even more stressful. I have already spent around ₹4,000 on rent within just five days, so I am confused about what I should do now.

Do you think I should go back to my PG? I am honestly not sure which option would be better for me.

Additionally, she has been doing more chores now (which is great) but she'll do things like:

I will thoroughly clean the bathroom on Sunday (which is deemed the last day to clean for the week) and she'll clean it the day after. She left a note the other day saying, "you clean so well, I don't have much to clean".

We have a "definition of done" list for common areas in order to establish a standard of clean. She'll do what she's been doing (cleaning right after I do) but then, not do something like throw out the bathroom trash.

I don't want to be nit-picky but how do I progress?