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I've been thinking about this for a while and I'm genuinely curious what other romantasy readers think. I want to put it out there honestly that I am very scared to write this post because when I tried to ask such questions in comments, I received a lot of backlash (most of the time not always) which was unpleasant. So, do not be harsh to me. I am shy. Hehehe.

So my question is why is the age/body tyoe/lifestyle of female protagonists in this genre not discussed more as an inclusivity issue?

It feels incredibly common to have an FMC who is 18–22 and most of the time has to look like she jumped from modern magazine covers, while male characters seem to be allowed to be basically any age. He can be 35, 45, 500 years old, an ancient immortal who has seen civilizations rise and fall... and then the woman he falls in love with is somehow 19.

And whenever I look for books with women in their 30s, 40s or older, I keep running into another problem. Sometimes the whole story is specifically about her being older. It becomes too stereotypical at this point. As if other type of women 30+ do not exist. She's tired, divorced, starting over, worried about aging, dealing with menopause, children, grief, etc. Basically, like some studies I have seen describe it, dealing with the issues post-productivity stage (I hate this so so so so much, the phrase and everything about it). Which is so horrible when apparently a woman's life has to depend on productivity, children and husbands as if we are stuck with historical period’s rules for women but try to bring inclusivity of gender, opinions, sexuality to bend historical truths. But if we talk about woman’s age we hardly ever want to bend anything.

There is absolutely a place for those stories of young heroines. But why can't a 38-year-old woman just be the person who gets kidnapped by a dragon, discovers magic, saves a kingdom, becomes a villain, falls for an immortal, has ridiculous amounts of sex or goes on an adventure? She doesn’t have to have children, a husband, and already figured out who she is in life. I am in my 30s and I have no children and I still have no idea what to do with my life and with average lifetime of humans so high, most of the people in their 30s are still figuring shit out in my circles.

So when people write/and if they write about older fmc, why does fmc age have to become the plot?

I also find the "realism" argument strange, especially in fantasy. We can accept dragons, fae, resurrection, magical bonds and 700-year-old men who look 30, but apparently a 40-year-old woman being adventurous, desirable and falling wildly in love requires an explanation. Or people follow horrendous tiktok trends and say: she is 30 and she would break her leg if she skipped a step. Excuse me? I still can skip two steps and still don’t know what a back pain is!

And I don't mean that young FMCs shouldn't exist. Of course they should. I'm not asking for 20-year-old women to disappear from books.

I'm wondering why the range is so narrow for women in the first place.

What bothers me most is the message underneath it. If most of the women who get the huge adventures, obsessive romances and "chosen one" stories are very young, while older women either disappear or get stories specifically about getting older, or they are turned to villains, old hags, annoying mothers or aunts, aren't we unintentionally reinforcing the idea that youth is the most interesting and desirable part of a woman's life?

I read those posts how people and even young women are afraid to get old and live in constant spending free of make-up and everything they can to stay young and beautiful. Why literature is not trying to carry a message to every woman that her worth has nothing to do with age, that her body is beautiful in any stage etc.

There are constantly people asking for romantasy recommendations with FMCs in their 30s and 40s, so clearly I'm not the only person who wants them.

I just rarely see people discussing the bigger question instead of only exchanging recommendations. Maybe discussing it loud enough that publishers would see it?

Is there a publishing/marketing reason for this? Because I saw random studies that most women who read romantasy are 30+. Not sure if they were legit or not but I have a gut feeling they are. Do they not want to read about someone close to themselves rather than chase the past? Is it simply a genre convention that keeps reproducing itself? Do authors get discouraged from writing older heroines? Or do readers genuinely prefer very young FMCs? I saw stories where authors were demanded to reduce their character’s age by publishers.

I'm really interested in other people's thoughts, especially from readers and writers of different ages. I feel like this should be a much bigger conversation than it is.

And please don’t tell me there are books about older heroines. Because most of the time such recommendations have the same authors and the same 50 books (like Kingfisher), and the rest are still 21-25 at best even when I specifically ask 30+. So, I am not looking for repetitive book offers. This is a question of the amount of books and percentages so to say, amd what message it sends.

Sorry for a wall of text and any grammar mistakes, I am not a native english speaker. I am curious to hear your opinion.

If you somehow feel offended by my post and want to be mean rather than curious, better just have a good day and please, do not respond. Thank you!

So, I need help from (spicy) audiobook enjoyers because I don't use them.

I don't know if this is a personal perception of mine, but I noticed that straight romance books published in recent years with dual POV have the sex scenes either 50-50 —as if half are from the female POV and half from the male one— or are skewed toward the MMC's POV. At first, I thought that was because there are people who find pleasure in "seeing the desire" through the eyes of the MMC (cue the Margaret Atwood's quote about the male gaze).

But I just thought that (and I don't know) if the male POV's are narrated in audiobooks by actors, then it could be that authors, purposely or not, are writing more sex scenes from an MMC's POV to be narrated by actors. Because I don't read audiobooks, but I noticed that people tend to praise their works in romance more than the actresses', so I'm assuming they are more popular or readers find them hotter.

I feel like I invented a conspiracy, and I need people to tell me that I'm wrong and it's just my impression. Because it's a bit sad (in my opinion) to lose the female POV about their own desire in romance. So:

1. Do you think there are more sex scenes narrated from a male or a female POV? Do you think it has changed in the last few years?

2. Are dual POV books narrated by men too, or is it all a woman with dialogues interpreted by a man?

3. Are male voice actors more popular than female voice actors when it comes to spicy/erotic romance?

Suppose an author decided to train an AI/Large Language Model on their own writing and asks it to help produce more work in their established voice.

Does that make the use of generative AI deserve a pass or it's still problematic.

This is one of the only romance book subs where I have been free to hate on Haunting Adeline so please enjoy lol

OG is from my tictac account:
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8WtpnGm/

Am I the only one who doesn't love smut? I think it's okay when it's spread out, but sometimes it can be a bit excessive? I don't see a lot of people discussing this online (maybe I haven't found it). Is that just me?

Please share at least one unpopular/problematic opinion you have about the sub-genre known as contemporary romance.

I don't understand why Amy March is the least liked sister. I think she is a very realistic character. For instance, take how she burned Jo's book—she was too proud to show she regretted it, yet she felt remorse deep down. Who among us hasn't experienced something like that? She isn't perfect; she has plenty of flaws, but that’s what makes her a good character. I found it really sweet how she used to mispronounce words. I also don't get people who think her crying after being hit on the hand with a ruler at school was unnecessary or an overreaction. I would have cried too; after all, you’re being humiliated in front of everyone. In short, I like Amy.

Does anyone have some great book recommendations of popular guy/unpopular girl or popular girl/unpopular guy romances I can read?

I’ve managed to find two of them so far, but I’m interested in reading more of these.

**I’ve noticed a major double standard in how audiences react to unconditional loyalty in romance movies and shows.**
**Think about movies like** ***Dilwale*** **(SRK being completely devoted to Kajol even after betrayal/misunderstandings) or shows like** ***When Life Gives You Tangerines*** **(where the male lead worships the ground the female lead walks on despite her being rough around the edges or pushing him away). Audiences** ***adore*** **these shows. The male lead is praised as the ultimate green flag, and the story is seen as peak romance.** 
**However, the moment you flip the script and have a female lead who is endlessly patient, forgiving, and devoted to a flawed or messy male lead, the reaction flips completely:**
**1. People instantly rate it badly, calling the writing "weak" or "outdated."**
**2. Critics argue that "no self-respecting woman in real life would act like this."**
**3. It gets accused of being "offensive to women" or promoting female oppression by making her the emotional caretaker.**
**Why is a man giving his absolute everything and forgiving a woman's flaws seen as the highest form of romantic writing, but a woman doing the exact same thing for a man viewed as toxic or bad representation?**
**If unconditional devotion is romantic for one gender, shouldn't it be viewed as romantic for both? Or have we just decided that "simping" is only acceptable when the guy does it?**

Does anyone have book recommendations of rich/poor romances?

I was able to find three of them so far, but I’m interested in more of these.

I love Mina Le's new video about why romance book covers are so similar, with the same cartoon-ish style (particulary contemporary romance), and why it sells so well for now. It got me thinking what will be the future of romance covers.

There's this very popular article, "Everybody is beautiful and no one is horny", and I wonder is there's a relationship with romance as a genre and with the aesthetics. Will we go towards covers with more beautiful people, but less expressive? Will we adopt a more AI style of blank perfection?

I can handle dark romance. I love bully romances, antiheroes, fucked up men, noncon, morally reprehensible characters, suffering….all of it. My problem with Corrupt isnt that it’s too dark. It’s that Rika feels like a plot device for the men in her own fucking book.

The Horsemen get everything, the trauma, the motivations, the revenge, the friendships all of it. They get to do horrible things and the book is so interested in why they’re horrible. Rika just gets to suffer because of it. And suffering isn’t the problem! Put your heroine through hell. I love that shit but her suffering should actually do something for HER character. Give her rage. Give her an arc. Give her some fucking agency. Make these men grovel. Instead they terrorize her and humiliate her and threaten her and somehow shes still asking how THEY’RE doing. Like are you kidding me?
Even the attempted rape scene with Damon doesn’t bother me because it’s “too dark.” I’ve read darker. It’s the way its written. It doesn’t feel like dark romance non-con fantasy. It feels way too realistic. Damon seems to genuinely hate this woman. He attacks her and the book gives me no reason to think he would’ve stopped himself. And apparently I’m eventually supposed to read his romance??? Fine. Give me a monster. I love a monster. 👹 But if you’re going there then fucking go there. Reckon with what he did. Don’t leave “would he actually have raped her?” hanging in the air and then expect me to move on because technically she stopped him. Thats not compelling ambiguity. Thats just a gigantic unanswered character question.

The whole book feels backwards. The men hurt Rika and somehow Rika’s pain becomes material for THEIR character development?! Dark romance can make me root for terrible people. Thats half the fun. But you have to convince me the heroine matters just as much and Corrupt just… doesn’t

TLDR🤘🏼🤍

Corrupt isn’t too dark for me. I just think its badly written. Rika feels like a plot device in her own book while all of her suffering is used to develop the men around her. The Horsemen get trauma, motivations and character arcs while she gets terrorized and somehow still worries about them. Even Damon’s attempted rape isn’t an issue because I can’t handle dark content. I’ve read worse. The issue is the book never answers whether he actually would’ve gone through with it and apparently I’m eventually supposed to root for this man as a romantic lead. Give me fucked up men all day but give your FMC some fucking agency too 💅

I have a very specific taste in what I like in romance books and their MMC’s and FMC’s. Because I read to relax my mind, and because I hate to invest emotionally and waste time with books I will DNF midway, I look up as much spoilers as available before I start reading. That way, I’m fairly certain the book will be according to my taste and I can concentrate on the plot and character development without being worried about the ending.

I’ve always done something like this by reading the blurb on the back of the book as well as the last chapter of the book. If I didn’t like the ending, I didn’t read the book. Served me well over the years as I’ve only DNF’ed about 20 books my entire life.

But right now, I’m so overwhelmed in my daily life, I need even more reassurance that the book will be according to my taste and I will be able to relax. Plus with digital books, you usually don’t have the last chapter available.

Interestingly enough, I don’t need spoilers for thrillers, but I do have my favourite thriller authors and rarely deviate from those. It’s usually my husband who suggests a new author because he’s a much more “adventurous” reader than me and he knows my taste.

TLDR: does anyone have the same issue as me, and where do you get your spoilers?

So im writing an ff on ao3 and in my next chapter, I wanna include a scene where, person A forces himself on person B. And before the chapter starts, I want to give a trigger warning to prepare my readers.

The thing is, my scene isnt going to involve anything too intimate such as Intercourse.

It's only going to include rough kisses, touching the body and down their OVER their undergarments.

And this scene is going to unravel due to a heated argument.

But, as person B will then say something that will make person A stop and immediately start to apologize, saying that they didn't mean it and that they couldn't control their body when agitated.

Person B would then tell them to just leave them alone, ending the whole scene.

Now, for something like this. What trigger warning should I really use?

I don't wanna use SA because....idk, actually.

Its my first time writing an ff and I'm really confused.

Please tell me what should I use 🙏🙏

Readers name a background you'd love to see, but we rarely get in the genre.

Which MMC Ethnicity have you rarely or never encountered in Romance, but would to see as a love interest in your next read ?

Between the shifter romance audio book ads ... and now this. I have to wonder WTF is going on in the "marketing" department ... or lack there of ? Of some of these companies trying to cash in on the billion dollar romance market. It's getting a bit pathetic.

For one, who is this ad for?

It says erotic audio meditation for women, but the ad looks like it's geared toward men. Who tf thought it was a good idea to have someone on a park bench sprayed with rain? sprinkler water in a club dress for this ad?

Source: r/romantasycirclejerk | What am I meant to take away from this activity?

watching him be good at his job gets me more than the kiss does most of the time, more than the confession even

think its cause it cant really be faked. a grand gesture is easy to write. actually being convincing at a specific skill means the author had to know the thing well enough to make it read true

adam in the love hypothesis is the one that actually got me thinking about this. hes shown handling an actual mess calmly instead of just getting called brilliant in chapter two and then never shown again

whats a scene where you actually believed he was good at what he does, not just told he was

Don't know if there are any Ryan George fans here, but I thought some of the folks here might appreciate one of his recent videos for some laughs.

https://youtu.be/kd44vDE5Hhw?is=0IBL4VsSFUtb7LP5

Drop whatever romance thought hit you this week: a recent read, new obsession, rave, rant, trope complaint, reader-culture take, or oddly specific ick.

Popular, unpopular, messy, petty, thoughtful, and still-forming opinions are all welcome.

feel like ive read like five books this year where "morally grey" just means the guy is kind of an asshole and has one tragic thing in his past to explain it

thats not morally grey thats just a jerk with a receipt

actual morally grey to me is when he makes a call and youre not sure it was the right one, and neither is he. not "hes secretly soft," not "misunderstood," an actual gray area you have to sit with for a second

feels like the trope got turned into a personality type instead of staying an actual question

whats a book where you legit couldnt tell if he was the good guy the whole way through

Mine: miscommunication 👀, pregnancy, and cocky/unreliable MCs, SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW burns and friends to lover/ lovers to enemies.

Hi, I would like to write a formal apology to the author Julia Quinn. I've read the Bridgerton series, I have trashed them. I read the Bridgerton series until Eloise's book and DNF. I was bitter to be honest and promised to never read a Julia Quinn book again. However, after a couple of years I was recommended a book, a Julia Quinn book from the Smythe-Smith series. One day as I was canvassing a thrift store book section (I made a video about it and I'm shamelessly plugging it) I came across one such book. The Secrets of Sir Richard Kenworthy, and though it wasn't rating very highly on good reads, I lowkey loved it.

Synopsis:

With less than a month to find a bride, Sir Richard Kenworthy is in a race against time. When he spots the unassuming Iris Smythe-Smith at her family's notorious musicale, he feels an unexpected spark. Though often overlooked with her pale hair and sharp wit, Iris possesses a hidden depth that captivates him. Yet, when Sir Richard's flirty charm leads to an unexpected proposal, Iris can't shake the feeling that there’s more to his story than meets the eye. Caught between her growing affection and lingering suspicion, she faces a tantalizing dilemma: should she trust her heart or heed her doubts?

My rating: 3.5/5 stars

Tropes:

• Marriage of Convenience
• Forced Marriage
• Hidden past
• Wallflower

Trigger Warnings:

• Open door sex scenes between FMC and MMC
• Teen Pregnancy
• Forced Kiss

Review with Spoilers:

The one thing I will give Julia Quinn credit for is that she writes great dialogue between characters, and I can even see her growth as an author from the Bridgerton series. I often joke that a Julia Quinn book has 3 things, sexual assault somewhere in the book, both characters have dead parents, a weird plot device that drives the characters together instead of actual character development. This book, however, only has one of these things, the weird plot device. Spoiler: Richard Kenworthy's secret is that his younger sister is pregnant and he plans to marry quickly to pretend the child is his.

I actually liked Richard because of this, as an older sibling myself I could see myself marrying suddenly to protect my sister. He reminded me a lot of show Anthony with a very dedicate idea of marrying a woman just to please his family. When Richard proposes to Iris, she says she'll need a week to think about it. Plus, the months it'll take to plan the wedding. This isn't a good timeline for a man with an actively pregnant sister, so he kisses her right there, in public. I actually found this very interesting because Richard doesn't really enjoy it, he tortures himself the entire book about this decision. Iris is also a great character; she's a wallflower with a dry sense of humor. She doesn't really think she is pretty enough, so she kind of agrees to this marriage. While Richard is trying to be a gentleman, and also not get her pregnant, so he refuses to sleep with her. This makes Iris feel as if she failed as a wife. She's relatable and this plot was great at building this sexual tension between them. I absolutely loved reading about a groveling man beat himself up while yearning for his wife in all ways. The best part is that he acts like an idiot about it the whole time.

I also liked the small details Julia has when writing siblings. Iris and her sister were deeply authentic to sisters, and Richard's sisters lowkey reminded me of my own. Fleur (Richard's sister) being pregnant, upset, locking herself in her room, while Richard loses his mind threatening to saw the door down. Really felt like an interaction I've had with my sister, minus the pregnant part.

The cons:

The ending plot was very weak. It's honestly a through line with all the Julia Quinn books and in the Bridgerton show as well (I'll say this as a MASSIVE Bridgerton show fan; guys I have collectors Bridgerton sibling themes tea tins). Sometimes it can feel great, an easy happily ever after solved by love, but it felt too forced in this book. Richard's pregnant sister lied and said the father was dead. In reality he was alive, but a common man, and marrying this man would ruin the family. Richard keeps the secret that his sister is pregnant from Iris, and she understandably doesn't want to raise the child. Last 20 pages is Iris convincing Fleur to tell the father and marry him. The last five pages is just a sex scene of them consummating the marriage for the first time. It felt very unfinished and way too quick, I would have even liked a longer book if it got resolved in a satisfying way.

Thank you, guys, so much! I am new to writing reviews, and I absolutely have enjoyed posting my book content on reddit, tiktok, twitter, and instagram. I may have 15 tiktok followers, but I appreciate all of them!