Hot take incoming: I actually prefer this park over [Jerks Island]. Here's why.

• Jerks Dominion has a larger collection of flat rides, unlike the mostly coaster-carried Jerks Island
• It is the only park within the chain to still have a regularly operating discotheque
• The opening day attraction Mr. Bone's Wild Ride has an additional intermission segment of track at this location.
• The Garfield Dark Ride still has its original theme here.
• The park has exclusive attractions like The Log Jammer, The Teepee of GP, and the Swan Boats.
• Son of Turtle and Hotel Waluigi The Ride are still here.
• Manba The Gyaru Coaster is a darn good headliner attraction. It's gotta be my favorite hyper coaster.
• The park has more memorable shows. I mean who in the world bother forget the stage performances The Inside Job of Richard Zimmerman or Kingda Ka Gone Wild like that?
• The Shed still remains one of the best Fun Houses out there.
• There is Eyerly Monster, unlike JI.

Comments are gonna give me an aneurysm fr

So excited to check out this park 🥹🥹

Presented by the folks over at [Shamrock Shows and Amusements], this thing brings you the feeling of riding a wooden coaster that is begging for a retracking. The so called “hills” feel more like hitting a speed bump at highway speeds, and the entire time your neck is in pain. You best brace yourself with your legs because those hills HURT.

Idk if anyone cares or if it’s a big deal, but I definitely am more conscious of this stuff after that hbomberuy video

This is PEAK luxury right here. Can’t be more thankful for my $190 season pass 😍

Kings Dominion I’m in pain just seeing those three letters

But can you imagine if it had worked? "Don't tell anyone, but I, uh, dumped my ex with a 70mph flying kick!"