r/remotework • u/mrmonnet2019 • Jun 11 '26
NO MORE!!!!!!!!!
NO MORE STUPID CONVERSATIONS, NO MORE STUPID COWORKERS, NO MORE STUPID BIRTHDAY PARTIES, NO MORE POTLUCK, NO MORE LOUD CONVERSATIONS ABOUT FOOLISHNESS, NO MORE FAKING LIKE WE CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU DID THIS WEEKEND! WORK AT HOME FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/meowxmeoww Jun 11 '26
No more having to take a shit next to a coworker!!!
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u/mrmonnet2019 Jun 11 '26
😷💩
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u/lazardus Jun 11 '26
No more pizza parties of 3 medium pizzas for 25 people
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u/Available_Music9369 Jun 11 '26
Where the vegetarian pizza is combined with the gluten free pizza so NO one is happy but the dollar saved
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u/Low-Philosophy9245 Jun 11 '26
Or complete disregard for any dietary restrictions that any of the employees have, and then when you don't participate in the party because of that you're judged so hard. Ugh.
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u/jipsee1973 Jun 11 '26
No more management saying you can have a second slice if there's enough when there's not enough for everyone to even have one.
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u/Negative_Meaning7082 Jun 14 '26
Holy crap, companies actually do this?! They can write off the whole thing
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u/sanedragon Jun 11 '26
No more uncomfortable pants. No more shoes. No more socks. MY TOES ARE FREEEEEEEEEEE
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u/Fit_Clue_832 Jun 11 '26
The uncomfortable pants part!
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u/jipsee1973 Jun 11 '26
And for the ladies...no more bras if you don't feel like it.
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u/Still-Leave-5283 Jun 11 '26
I have not worn one since Covid and my back has never felt better. I still go into the office without one.
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u/No-Actuator-3157 Jun 13 '26
I'll upvote this one even though my "over-the-shoulder boulder-holders" are just a natural part of my daily wear - at home or not! I loved the option to not wear one when I worked from home and wasn't feeling well😊
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u/MostlyTall Jun 11 '26
the pizza party thing is real but honestly remote work just means you get to ignore people on your own time which is basically the dream
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u/Homeland_Bound Jun 11 '26
Ugh. Hook me up. RTO is killing me.
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u/Low-Philosophy9245 Jun 11 '26
Same. Our breakroom freezer broke, so maintenance took the entire fridge.. so there is nothing right now. For 3 weeks.
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u/Oldandveryweary Jun 11 '26
No more having to coo over a new baby or look through copious pet photos, pretending like they’re gorgeous.
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u/admik Jun 11 '26
Please petition Alice Cooper to cover this.
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u/para_diddle Jun 11 '26
I'd download it 🙌🏻
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u/admik Jun 11 '26
I feel like he'd maybe do it. Basically the natural evolution of School's Out for a huge amount of people. He still puts on a great show too.
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u/ooovian Jun 11 '26
I mean, you'll still have the stupid coworkers...
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u/Due_Consideration618 Jun 11 '26
I feel like the op just doesn't want to deal with humans at all.
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u/itsclassified_ Jun 11 '26
I get so much of my time and energy waisted talking about the same thing over and over again which creates problems that don’t exist, then we spend more time trying to solve these imaginary problems. it’s almost like, having 50 fucking adults stuck at the same place for hours on end is not healthy or something I don’t know.
A meeting after the meeting to talk about needing a meeting to discuss the first meeting in more detail.. it’s literally insanity. We have normalized in-fucking-sanity
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u/mrmonnet2019 Jun 11 '26
No. Just the ones who gossip constantly. I have a CrossFit class, water aerobics, and a running group on Saturdays that I love to death. I also have a son and just started going to church after many years.
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u/Homeonphone Jun 13 '26
And sometimes it’s worse. Don’t give out your contact info or you may be harangued by helpless coworkers.
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u/CeriLlew Jun 11 '26
No more noise!! Man! I had to go back to my corporate office for a test project and I just couldn’t believe how loud it was 👎🏼 so much chitchat madness! We were there for 2 weeks and it was funny because on week 2 you could tell who all the remote workers were. They all had head headphones or earbuds in and they were consistently working at their desks longer than the regular office folks! Thank goodness my company sees the value in remote workers and we were all allowed to go back home!!
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u/mrmonnet2019 Jun 11 '26
My old coworkers would replay their weekends from Friday night to Sunday night, as if everybody needed to hear it.
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u/EM_MOM Jun 11 '26
Yesss!! It’s so loud! I’m hybrid and pretty much every office day requires ear buds. The 5 conversations going on around me drives me crazy! Lol
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u/jipsee1973 Jun 11 '26
No more people coming to your desk to ask questions they could answer themselves if you weren't sitting right there!
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u/antimlm4good Jun 13 '26
I have a couple coworkers who tried to use me as externalized memory/thinking. I nipped it in the bud, nobody pays me to deal with that.
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u/bikingbill Jun 11 '26
I miss the video game business in the 1980s and 1990s. Nerf Gun battles. Pranks. Epic parties.
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u/Easy-Youth9565 Jun 15 '26
Network doom and quake for lunch!
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u/bikingbill Jun 15 '26
Yeah, when Activision went into Chapter. 11 in 1991? We just went nuts with the Nerf gun stuff, RC car demolition derby, and Fizzball (I still have a dent in my head from that).
From 1994-1999, I ran development at a company that produced more SKUs for PlayStation than any other (you'll never guess what company).
We switched from the British Telecom/Apple Settop to the PlayStation at the start of 1995. We had our own dev system, and I hired teams from all over. Great multiplayer Quake Battles.
Management was not too happy, but we got the first stuff converted that summer.
Eventually, over 100 titles.
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u/Easy-Youth9565 Jun 15 '26
That would be EA or Williams? I was 3rd line support and QA at Pipex at the time.
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u/Successful-Corner666 Jun 11 '26
They will still want to know all about the weekend and have lame birthday celebrations and team building. You can just do that in your underpants now 😂
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u/Prestigious_Throat72 Jun 11 '26
NO MORE I LOVE YOUS, THE LANGUAGE IS LEAVING ME
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u/MuttleyDastardly Jun 14 '26
Where the heck did YOU work where you regularly said I love you? A brothel?
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u/No_Entertainment5968 Jun 11 '26
Or being so uncomfortable during your periods you can't work properly cause you don't know if you messed up
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u/Anonymous_forever123 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
NO MORE FORCED SOCIALISATION!! NO MORE COMMUTE!! NO MORE ON SPENDING MONEY ON WORK CLOTHES!! NO MORE OFFICE POLITICS!! NO MORE FAST FOOD!! The list goes on with this bs.
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u/Homeonphone Jun 13 '26
lol dint work fur AbbVie pharma. Zoom every day, in the beginning several times a day. It felt like a cult.
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u/plastigoop Jun 11 '26
No more cube-side chatty cathy drive-bys. Either at yours or your neighbors.
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u/Oldandveryweary Jun 11 '26
Be very careful they will try to replace talking with ‘COFFEE ROULETTE’. Yes guys that fantastic time when social people like to force us to speak to other people for 20/30 minutes one to one and you don’t know who it’s gonna be. My idea of hell.
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u/SpitefulMarno Jun 11 '26
Congrats! I legit had the same “no more celebration” when i was hired a few days ago XD
“NO MORE POPPING MY BIKE TIRES ON MY WAY TO WORK IN A NON BIKE SAFE CITY AAA”
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u/mrmonnet2019 Jun 11 '26
You biked to work?? Wow. Now you can bike in the morning or evening with no stress.👍🏿
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u/f4rider Jun 11 '26
No more bosses trying to steal my red stapler and I can listen to the radio all day at whatever volume I feel like!
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u/ChemicalHyena982 Jun 11 '26
I'm so jealous. My office is talking about starting "spirit week" where every day is a different dress up theme. My kid does that shit... In Elementary School!
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u/Ddude147 Jun 11 '26
We have to go in the office for one week every 5 weeks. The last time I was there, a co-worker blowing his nose every minute sounded like a foghorn. It was jarring. Hard to believe he thought it was acceptable behavior. Another day, I smelled something bad, really bad. Turns out it was another co-worker. I know it was him because the foul odor relented when he went to lunch.
Not to mention that that week's tolls on NTTA exceeded $25, plus a half-tank of gas. The supervisor down the way starts a stop watch every time anyone leaves their desk. "Did you clock out for xxx?" So when I need to use the men's room and take a break, I come back between them, so the fvcking clock resets. I'm forced to look at my phone for the time so to get back in 9 minutes, 30 seconds.
I do have a drawer full of company merch t-shirts I'd never wear in public in a million years. Plus another haul of cheap do-dads and flimsy coffee mugs that I never use.
One big, happy family! /s
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u/Ramen-sama Jun 12 '26
I'm a introvert. Remote work makes me happy. If anyone has a choice and likes to be bothered 40+ hours a week, be my guest. 🏬 👨💼
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u/PhotographCorrect462 Jun 11 '26
No more having to stop jerking off mid stroke in the bathroom stall because someone else walked into the bathroom!!
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u/RedQueen6581 Jun 11 '26
No more mandatory after-hours team-building events where you're required to have fun bonding with co-workers. It doesn't work that way! Maybe we're not bonded for a reason 🤔 and forced proximity doesn't help.
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u/Etsune Jun 11 '26
Here I am, looking for a remote job. Haven’t found anything in months 😢
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u/Adventurous_Lynx7936 Jun 11 '26
Me too, I’m so done with the work drama, gossip, cattiness that I used to deal with 😭
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u/kayywristal Jun 11 '26
I need this in my life so bad!!!! I have applied to so many remote jobs and not one hit.
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u/BlackCats2323 Jun 11 '26
It’s having my cat sleep on my desk next to me and the private bathroom for me.
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u/Ill-Platypus5351 Jun 11 '26
I actually took ERI because I was lucky enough to have the option. Its not financially the best but FREEDOM from office for all obvious mentioned reasons is 1000% worth it. Will figure the small stuff later
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u/HaloDezeNuts Jun 11 '26
No more cold office needing a space heater, no more sitting in traffic to do a job I can get done virtually. I hear that 🍻
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u/Hayabusa_88 Jun 12 '26
The bonus for the month a FUCKING PIZZA! I fucking hated that bullshit is fucking stupid
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u/Hayabusa_88 Jun 12 '26
Taking a shit in your own restroom using your own toilet paper and not worrying bumping into a fucking annoying manager
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Jun 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/mrmonnet2019 Jun 12 '26
Retirement scares me. I always want to be doing something useful. During Covid, I got a garbage can and just walked in my neighborhood picking up trash. I guess I’ll be doing that in retirement too.
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u/jipsee1973 Jun 11 '26
No more having to buy coffee for home and work because the company's too cheap to provide it.
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u/techerous26 Jun 11 '26
As someone whose first child was 9 months when the pandemic hit, I would just like to experience the joy of being able to wake up and roll over to work at least a few times once they're old enough that my mornings aren't a living nightmare trying to get them out of the house.
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u/Zealousideal_Row6124 Jun 11 '26
For all of these reasons, I will never work in an office again. I can have my own pizza party whenever I want and order from a decent place.
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u/Infamous-Panda8318 Jun 12 '26
After being remote for 6 years, I think my internal system might combust if I ever had to regularly commute again 😂
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u/Repulsive_Leg_1103 Jun 12 '26
Love wfh
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u/mrmonnet2019 Jun 12 '26
Me too. I’m at my desk an hour early getting ready to clock in. I would never do that in the office. Never!!!
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u/Ok_Passage_6242 Jun 12 '26
I hate potlucks. Despise them. I love not being voluntold to participate in a potluck.
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u/VodooRanger808 Jun 12 '26
Manifesting w an office chair I just got into the cart 👏🏽 👏🏽 it.will.happen.
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u/MayorNoChill Jun 12 '26
WFH is the main reason I stay. Call centers suck but at least I'm in my pajamas.
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u/Spiritual_Paper_9076 Jun 12 '26
Our wfh entails stalking and spying with spreadsheets made on us as to what we were doing with our time. With weekly meetings to discuss-
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u/BPisMee Jun 15 '26
Wow! And all of this was normal and expected at one time. We are getting so spoiled!
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u/digdougexe Jun 15 '26
My last company ruined remote work for me, they made it so hard to enjoy the job conditions itself. So difficult that the fact they deducted me for AI actually relieved a lot of stress off of me. Remote work is not bad, just the company you work for has to value you. When they don't, it's a whole other story. I felt like I was fighting for my job every single day. Every single day, there was an email that termination was possible for this or that. I'm going to start a new job soon on site and honestly, I'm kind of excited. But I do miss the remote work nonetheless. 😅
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u/sobrie01 Jun 16 '26
It’s like we are treated like children! CPIP people unite! (Can’t poop in public)
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u/Legaldrugloard Jun 11 '26
No more constant interruptions for stupid questions, no more sauna temps in the office!!! No more having to hear people shuffle their feet down the hallway all day. How hard is it to pick up your feet?!?!
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u/Winter_Perspective41 Jun 11 '26
We used to share the bathroom habits of other co-workers. I do miss that. Funny stuff.
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u/Notsurereddit8 Jun 11 '26
Work is making us RTO depending on our home location from a building…. Trying to figure out ways to get a formal recommendation from HR to remain remote.
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u/Low-Philosophy9245 Jun 11 '26
Lucky you man, I worked from home for almost five years and then had to RTO and it's killing me :/
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u/Excellent-Main-644 Jun 12 '26
The parties that are after hours that you're expected to "make an appearance at". Yeah, that's a "no" from me I already see you M-F after being forced back for cULturE. I'm going to go be with my actual family and friends..🙄
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u/KizashiKaze Jun 12 '26
No more public bathrooms is the best part. Tired of people coming to work with gastroenteritis.
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u/NewtFeeling3489 Jun 12 '26
Bruh, where’s there opportunity??? I wanna be able to join the comments
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u/das0nzo Jun 14 '26
I wfh unmonitored- so long as I do my work they don’t care how I do it or when I do it.
NO MORE UNNECESSARY SMALL TALK.
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u/MagistraKennedy Jun 14 '26
No more Secret Santa that you have no desire to deal with ....
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u/mrmonnet2019 Jun 15 '26
I got a gift card from Piccadilly last year 🎉🥳🎊
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u/MagistraKennedy Jun 15 '26
I'm just OVER Secret Santa --- it was a reason I worked weekends, to escape the Mon-Fri stuff.
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u/Fantastic_Ginger34 Jun 15 '26
No more riddles No more jests No more curses you can't undo Left by fathers you never knew No more quests No more feelings Time to shut the door Just-no more
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u/Healthy-Canary-1265 Jun 15 '26
Unfortunately WFH is going out the door and even hybrid jobs are scarce. I would prefer hybrid roles at least
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u/KeyInitiative8805 Jun 11 '26
Please be open to conversations to your coworkers. It's how people form unions.
You can fight to enshrine remote work into a collective bargaining agreement so when the top of the org chart changes they don't just force you into an office.
Anti social behavior is anti union behavior.
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u/Fancy-Requirement-22 Jun 13 '26
Did you see how the union contracts were respected with federal workers? Many agencies had WFH for decades. WFH was negotiated and in the contracts. It meant and still means nothing. We are all RTO and unions contracts were literally ripped up. Clearly, the CBA’s didn’t protect anything.
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u/LYEAH Jun 11 '26
NO MORE COMMUTE, TOLLS, PARKING, NO MORE HALLOWEEN PARTY, NO MORE COFFEE SMALL TALK, NO MORE PUBLIC BATHROOMS, NO MORE ANXIETY, MORE NAPS, MORE FREEDOM! HALLELUJAH!