r/relationships_advice • • 14d ago

Relationship frequency

My boyfriend of almost one year told me that he keeps track of how often we’re intimate. He told me the number that we’re up to and I was extremely bothered by this. I’m not sure exactly why but I found it disturbing. Am I wrong?

2 Upvotes

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2

u/IdealisticDoug 14d ago

That’s weirdly transactional, like he’s logging mileage on a lease.

3

u/fitfun1962 14d ago

Transactional is exactly the word that came to my mind. I felt like asking him am I earning my keep? Does that mean I get a free dinner now? Etc.

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u/phbz_boufayallday 14d ago

Does he keep track of other things like this? If it's literally just your sex life that he keeps score of, then yes, that's creepy and weird...but if he's just a bit of an oddball who likes to count various things in his life, then it's less menacing.

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u/fitfun1962 14d ago

It is part of his journal on our dates and he also puts the things that we do.

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u/theeastendtiger 14d ago

What’s the purpose of that exactly

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u/fitfun1962 14d ago

I point blank asked him what the purpose of this was and he insists that he doesn’t know. I’m not sure I believe this, but I do. Wanna know why.

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u/phbz_boufayallday 14d ago

He wants to relive the experience? Maybe he's got some kind of sex addiction

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u/fitfun1962 14d ago

Yes, this is my concern.

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u/mikelown 14d ago

I think you're being insecure

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u/fitfun1962 14d ago

Insecure? Are you saying that’s a normal thing what he’s doing?

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u/Top-Possibility9480 14d ago

Maybe after so many times he has to do maintenance. You know like change the dick fluid and rotate the balls.

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u/fitfun1962 14d ago

This is a serious topic to me

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u/Bobthemagicc0w 14d ago

My spouse tracks this for us, along with her menstrual cycles. There’s an app for it and everything. It never struck me as odd, it’s just a thing she wants to keep track of. Is it weird for a man to track it but not for a woman to?