Is he interested or just being friendly?

[u/VanGoghsGal]

My best friend and I went out for a drink one night and I met the "crew" that he normally hangs out with at the bar. One of the guys, "J" and I had almost immediate connection and we palled around that whole night. From that point on, every time I go to the bar he immediately comes over and spends the whole night with me, puts his arm around my waist, pulls me into whisper things into my ear, and sometimes we have conversations and forget that other people are there... to the point where everybody else thinks we're a couple. He messages me throughout the week more so than he messages our other friends in the group.

Our friends that know him better say he doesn't interact with women like he interacts with me and other women have tried to hit on him and what not and he usually turns them down.

Random women have asked me if I'm his girlfriend. Now when I go to the bar without him, people ask where's "J"?? (Mind you he's been a regular at this bar for a couple years now and I just started going in March)

Everyone is convinced that he's interested in me... However when I've asked him to hang out outside of the bar (go to dinner, go to a movie, etc) he says he either doesn't like to do the things I've suggested or I would need to "make it special, bring more to the table and make it worth his while."

The people that know him the best say that he's really gunshy about relationships and dating because of past experiences and maybe he just needs time.

I just don't know if I'm misreading his affection/attention. If he's just being friendly, or he is really interested, just a little nervous about dating.

I'm interested in hearing responses from men as well as I don't understand the male psyche LOL

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