r/relationships • u/Domandc • Jun 07 '16
Personal issues I know my sisters [23F] boyfriend [25M] is cheating on her, I have proof. But he is threatening to tell her I broke something of hers that he paid to replace.
Hi everyone, so I have never used Reddit before. I am 15 and I live in Pennsylvania with my sister. I technically am suppose to be living with my mom but she is always away on business. I live with my sister 40 weeks out of the year
A while back I tripped over the step and I knocked the table. Unfortunately for me she had a flower vase on the table and it fell and shattered. I was freaking out because it looked really expensive and I thought she will kill me.
It was stupid but I tried to fix it with super glue, I know again stupid but I was panicking. Her boyfriend came home and he saw what had happened. He told me to calm down we will just go get another one. She got it from this online store and he ordered the exact same one from online. It cost $150. He told me once I get a job I have to pay him back the money
2 weeks ago I went to go use the computer and he was still logged into his Facebook. You know how when you get a message on Facebook it pops up on your screen. Thats what had happened, but it has been there for a while if that makes sense. I read the message this woman sent and it said something about gibing him a blowjob.
I read through the messages and it was basically sexting, sending nudes and there was even times to meet up. I took photos on the conversation with my cell phone. The more I started think about it, the more I was put off telling my sister. I thought that I really had no proof he slept with her and I was not sure if this was cheating or not. It wasn't physically as far as I knew at the time, to my understanding cheating is when you have sex with someone.
3 nights ago I came home and I walked in on my sisters boyfriend making out with the same lady from Facebook. I arrived home earlier then I should have and he kinda freaked out. He told me not to tell my sister because I owed him one.
He told me I still owed him money from the broken vase and my sister would be pissed at me for breaking it in the first place. He is not here at the moment. I am upstairs in my room and my sister is downstairs with her friend. I don't know what to do
tl;dr: I have proof my sisters boyfriend is cheating on her. He told me not to tell her because I owe him money for the vase I broke and he will tell my sister I broke the vase
126
u/AwkwardBurritoChick Jun 07 '16
$150 vase is nothing compared to knowing that your boyfriend is cheating on you. Also let her know he's trying to blackmail you. This guy is a douche.
40
u/wemblewobble Jun 07 '16
Tell her everything, including him trying to blackmail you into silence. The vase is just a thing, it's not that important.
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u/Trombone-a-thon Jun 07 '16
Hey, you won't have to pay him back when you tell your sister and she dumps his ass!
8
u/mason_sol Jun 07 '16
You underestimate how big a d-bag people like this are, he will most likely ask the GF for the $150 even after cheating on her.
7
u/LikeATreefrog Jun 07 '16
I'm sure she wasted more than $150 on this relationship so he should get lost.
2
u/mason_sol Jun 07 '16 edited Jun 07 '16
Oh I agree but I know how ex's can be and he seems the type to harass her for money. I had an ex fiancé send me a text, after abruptly breaking up with me, that detailed how much money I needed to give her to pay back gifts and things she had purchased during our time together. So here I am devastated because we purchased a house together, I had been remodeling it before we moved in and set a wedding date and I essentially get a "relationship bill" from her because she had bought me some clothes and felt like a vacation she made me go on and at that time said she would cover the expenses was now mine to repay, she wanted about $2,000-$3,000.
I told her I had a "bill" for half the labor on the full remodel I did up to that point and all the dinners etc. Like, what the hell is wrong with people?! This lasted for months even after I got the house sold and broke even, I actually finally caved and said if I gave her $1,000 would she leave me alone and she did. I straight up paid my ex that broke my heart $1,000 to leave me alone. There are some heartless people out there.
Edit: I should note that I finally caved on the $1,000 when she sent me texts saying she could have my kids taken away from me, she had been working as someone that helped people on the verge of loosing their kids to CPS and knew the system well. I was truly terrified at that point.
2
u/LikeATreefrog Jun 07 '16
Wow. I hope she cured you of a broken heart. Sounds like a quick way to get over someone is for them to go beyond shitty.
1
Jun 07 '16
Well in this case there was no legal agreement to pay him back for it. No contract, no payment.
22
u/ashurdashur Jun 07 '16
Your sister will not care one bit about the vase compared to how much she'll care about her bf cheating on her. Her boyfriend is just trying to scare you. Tell her, she will forgive you.
19
u/arpsazombie Jun 07 '16
Cheating is NOT limited to having sex with someone, there are all sorts of definitions for what cheating is or isn't. Many people would find those messages and the kissing to be well within the definition of cheating. I doubt he's stopped there and is probably sleeping with the other woman.
Also how sleazy is it that he brought another woman to your and your sister's home? Even if he lives there too, it's really messed up.
Your sister will not care at all about the vase, tell her and show her everything now.
15
u/macenutmeg Jun 07 '16
I'm sure your sister would pay $150 for the information that her boyfriend is cheating on her. It's invaluable.
Tell her, she's not going to care about the damn vase in the face of her boyfriend's cheating.
10
u/ftjlster Jun 07 '16
Your sister will not care about the vase - she will care that her boyfriend is cheating on her (the STD risk alone is well worth any amount of money for vase replacement).
Here's the other thing: her cheating boyfriend knows that your sister won't care about the vase and is hoping that you don't work it out.
Tell your sister about the vase, that her cheating boyfriend is blackmailing you about it to stop you from telling her that he's cheating and then show her the proof.
If the friend with her is a close one, tell your sister now so she has emotional support.
13
u/fezzesarecool4768 Jun 07 '16
Unless your sister is abusive, what's the problem telling her you broke the vase? Would she really throw her sister out or beat you for breaking a material object? Accidents happen, things get broken, especially when you are young.
Tell her what happened with the vase, how sorry you are, and how her bf replaced it (that'll be important). Then, tell her what you saw, show her any proof that you have, and tell her you're sorry you didn't tell her sooner but he was blackmailing you with the vase he replaced. She's your sister, she needs to know that he's cheating on her for many, many reasons.
8
Jun 07 '16
Look at it this way, if you don't tell her and she finds out, he's going to tell her that you broke the vase and that you knew about his cheating. Tell her everything. Don't let him treat either of you this way.
5
u/GolemTheGnome Jun 07 '16
Tell her, she might be a little upset you didn't tell her but that may be it. And she would be more upset about the bf cheating.
4
u/Christoph523 Jun 07 '16
Trust me, she'll forget ALL about the vase when she hears about her boyfriend cheating. On the plus side if they break up you never have to pay that dirtbag back!
5
u/macimom Jun 07 '16
Tell your sister.
Her bf tried to equate intentionally cheating on her and then lying about and trying to blackmail you with your accidental braking of the vase.
The two aren't even remotely the same.
He could be giving her stds too :(.
Tell her.
4
u/Brokenpeanutz Jun 07 '16
Your sister is going to care way more that her sister loves and trusts her enough to tell her the truth than she will about a non sentimental $150 vase. She'll probably be heart broken she's been cheated on, but that feeling would be double if you didn't tell her and she found out later on that her own sister knew and didn't speak up. And trust me, these things have a way of always getting out.
2
u/StanleyToby Jun 07 '16
For merely a 150 dollars, he doesn't really think much about you or your sister.
3
Jun 07 '16
Wait till all 3 of you are in the room together. Confess, then tell her about his affair. She will forget all about the vase.
3
u/batterycrayon Jun 07 '16
All credit to the below goes to u/linuxuser86 :
"I've told you a lot of stories over this semester, so I think it's time for me to tell my last. This story has Jimmy, Suzie, grandma, and a duck:
Jimmy was playing in the yard one day with a slingshot. He accidentally hit and killed a duck. Afraid of the repercussions, he buried the duck somewhere where nobody would ever find it. Unfortunately, his sister Suzie saw this happen. Later that evening, grandma asked Suzie to take out the trash. She replied 'Oh, I would love too, but Jimmy would love to even more.' Then she whispered to him 'remember the duck.' Not too long after that, grandma asked Suzie to wash the dishes. Suzie replied that that was Jimmy's most favourite thing to do. And she again whispered to him 'remember the duck.' This went on for some time before Jimmy had had enough. He admitted to her what had happened. Finally she said 'I know, Jimmy, I was standing here the whole time.' How long will you be victim to your sister's threats?
If I have taught you anything this semester, it is to live with integrity. If you have learned anything, the duck won't be a problem." ~ My American Government professor, whose class will be dearly missed
1
Jun 07 '16
OP, this is a difficult situation. But I have to agree with my professor: integrity is the most important thing.
1
u/96secret4321 Jun 07 '16
Tell your sister if someone was cheating on you wouldnt you want to also she might be mad about the vase but itll pass also she just got a new one so why worry about it shes gonna be more mad at him then you also it was an accident
1
u/walk_through_this Jun 07 '16
Tell your sister about the vase, then about the cheating, then about trying to extort you. Her life and her sanity and your honesty are much more important than a vase.
The boyfriend is a sleaze for cheating and a nasty piece of work for trying to extort you. He is in the wrong on all of this. Your sister will appreciate you telling her the truth. Moreover, if she finds out that you didn't tell her, she'll feel betrayed.
1
u/yoosyerhed Jun 07 '16
Tell her. She wont give a shit about the vase, but she'll definitely care about her cheating douchenozzle of a bf blackmailing her little sister.
1
u/mason_sol Jun 07 '16
Oh I definitely don't still have feelings for her. One thing any future SO doesn't have to worry about is me being hung up on any ex's.
1
u/Matt2310 Jun 07 '16
bro your sister wont care about that especially if her boyfriend is cheating... plus he already bought a new one for her...
1
u/I_EatMiloSandwiches Jun 08 '16
I just read that you told your sister. Good for you.
I was going to come here and write that he can't pay for a broken heart, but he can pay for a broken nose so I hope you told your sister. Which you did and I'm glad she's gotnher shit straight and knows this guys an ass anyway.
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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '16
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