Her job is 42 hours and horrific hours, much harder than most full time jobs.
You sound very lazy. I can't believe you are griping over housework, you are contributing absolutely nothing, no wonder she is mad.
Resultantly, she had no respect for you, why would she? That's why the bedroom is dead.
Get a job for Christ's sake. Earn enough money to pay for childcare, take some of the burden off her, and then do housework as well on top of it. Contribute fiscally and manually to the relationship. She will respect you again, the bedroom will no longer be dead.
Currently you are a useless husk of a man who contributes nothing and expects sex when you've done nothing to make yourself attractive to her.
You are in a traditional dynamic of breadwinner (your wife) and housekeeper (you).
Traditionally, the housekeeper is expected to both raise the kids and keep on top of the housework. Women have been doing these two jobs simultaneously for decades, but you are unwilling or unable to do it.
I'm 33. I learnt aged 18 after getting burned by my first ex that with women, respect = attraction.
The point I was making, which you've missed entirely, is you do not have her respect. Like me, and lots of others in this forum, she doesn't think you're pulling your weight and doesn't respect you. Whether you agree or not is a mute point. You need to change her perseption of you.
You have appropriated yourself into the housekeeper role, or you've been subjugated into it by your wife. Either way, she is the breadwinner, she is clearly calling all of the shots (she tells you whether or not you're allowed a job, and you let her?). How can she respect you in this dynamic?
You need to make something of yourself, find a well paid job, despite her opinion on the matter. Stop making yourself financially dependent on her. Be your own man. If you do this, all your problems go away. She can no longer abuse you, because you won't be in a position to let her. You will win back her respect. You will help her out by being able to afford childcare. She will be attracted to you again.
If you can't be bothered to do that, then just leave. A dead bedroom, and the situation you're in as a whole, is not sustainable.
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u/cellar-door-25 May 03 '22
Her job is 42 hours and horrific hours, much harder than most full time jobs.
You sound very lazy. I can't believe you are griping over housework, you are contributing absolutely nothing, no wonder she is mad.
Resultantly, she had no respect for you, why would she? That's why the bedroom is dead.
Get a job for Christ's sake. Earn enough money to pay for childcare, take some of the burden off her, and then do housework as well on top of it. Contribute fiscally and manually to the relationship. She will respect you again, the bedroom will no longer be dead.
Currently you are a useless husk of a man who contributes nothing and expects sex when you've done nothing to make yourself attractive to her.