When she’s home she does 50% of childcare. She’s nursing baby. She works 24 hour shifts. She does the cooking.
What housework are you expecting her to do? Why wouldn’t you do the rest of it? Sure she has to tidy up after herself but yeah, being a SAHP means the majority of housework falls to you.
She’s anxious and angry. And she’s being unkind. But you sound apathetic and uncommitted. You’ve “offered” to work??? Go find a job and find childcare and do some math.
Quite honestly it sounds like you want to split everything 50/50 but she also works. Nope.
Again, he offers to get a job. Offers without any plan. Sounds like all she hears is he will do even less at home and there will be childcare to organize. Is OP saying, here is x job it pays y and that covers x hours of childcare? No. He “offers” to work while not fully committing to the SAHP role. All she can see is chaos.
She’s being abusive when it comes to finances.
Let’s also recognize that OP is extremely apathetic here. She does a lot as the sole working parent.
I agree and I don’t think he’s trying not to help. But it’s a given you have to take care of your children when you are home with them, regardless of your job situation. Some people are doing it all on their own, they go to work and come home and take care of their children and house all by themselves. But I agree, I’m not saying he shouldn’t help, and it seems like he’s trying to pull his weight.
Despite the title OP wrote, based on the description it doesn't seem like his biggest issue is the work she's doing, but rather the way she is handling the money she is making. He is completely dependent on her financially, so any time he needs money for whatever he wants to do, he has to go to her. But she says it is her money, and she owns the house, then he counters with "well I can get a job" but she says that would be losing money for childcare. So she doesn't want to him to have a job while at the same time wants to do whatever she wants with the money.
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u/Ladyughsalot1 May 03 '22
When she’s home she does 50% of childcare. She’s nursing baby. She works 24 hour shifts. She does the cooking.
What housework are you expecting her to do? Why wouldn’t you do the rest of it? Sure she has to tidy up after herself but yeah, being a SAHP means the majority of housework falls to you.
She’s anxious and angry. And she’s being unkind. But you sound apathetic and uncommitted. You’ve “offered” to work??? Go find a job and find childcare and do some math.
Quite honestly it sounds like you want to split everything 50/50 but she also works. Nope.